Colleagues Ignoring, Conversation behind my back

[WomensHours]

I work in a large office and lately there has been a lot of private conversations that have stopped when I come in the room. There has also been a number of times where I’ve walked passed people, by accident as I was going somewhere, and again stopped talking. The other day where two colleagues talking and heard my name. Now the colleague in question is completely blanking me.

I’ve spoken to another colleague and my senior and have asked if they heard anything or do they know if I’ve done anything thing to upset someone. They’ve just said no and they haven’t heard anything, this person usually hears everything.

I seriously don’t know what I’ve done, there is something going around one of the offices, as they split into two. But no one has come to me to talk about anything, which I would prefer it if they did.

I’m currently raising above and being friendly enough, and just ignoring it and getting on with my work in hope of what ever it is. It was just die down and go away, as at this point I’m kind of sick of it, and it really feels like I’m back in high school.

Can anybody give me anymore advice, on what to do?

I'd look for another job. This shit wreaks your MH.

Oh god I put with shit like this for weeks and then left as none wanted to address the issue when I raised it with management- hope you get some good answers so I’ll know what to do if it ever happens again!

this is bullying. If you feel able to then address it directly and ask people directly why they are not speaking to you. Keep notes.

This is awful. I’d approach your manager tbh. This is bullying.

It depends whether you want to go down the ‘fuck ‘em’ route or not. If the former then just look for something else and get out of there ASAP, or if that’s not an option I’d record each incident and then go to my manager in a couple of months and request a formal meeting if it didn’t improve. I’d also challenge them - so every time I heard my name I’d ask acknowledge I’d heard my name and ask if there was something I could help them with, or if a conversation stopped and I had a sense it was because of me I would ask if there a problem.

I’d also have a think about whether I’d done something to piss them off. It might be a series of coincidences which are unrelated but make you feel as if there’s something going on.

How awful. I( had this. Every one was avoiding me, even the one whose back I had. Shitty behaviour:(

This is the thing I seriously don’t know what I’ve done to piss people of this much, I mean there was something about 2 months with a colleague who’s in my team, it ended up be just a communication issue. And it feels like where pretty on good terms again, as we’ve been having good conversation not about work.

The colleague in question who is blanking me, I used to get along well with. I’ve also just had 2 weeks leave so I was hoping it had died down by than.

I will start keeping notes, but I’m also looking for another job within the place I work and have been before all of this started.

I’m not sure whether to just email said colleague, and ask if anything has happened but I’m not sure

I wouldn’t email, I think it just makes things worse - like texting and messaging. You’re always better to speak face to face. I’d ask if the colleague in question has five minutes and then find somewhere quiet to say something along the lines of you’re getting a sense that something isn’t right between the two of you, you’d like to chat about it as you’d like to resolve it and clear up any misunderstanding, and see what they say.

What was the thing 2 months ago?

I was thinking about chatting to this colleague but like I said every time I’ve tried they keep blanking me. Regards to the 2 months it was when all of talking behind my back started, like I said I was hoping my two weeks of would resolve it and everyone forgot about it, whatever it was

Ask the people who were talking about you today why they were talking about you. It doesn't need to be confrontational.

You can ride it out and eventually they'll move in. But ultimately people like this make the workplace toxic. It's better to find a different department where it doesn't go on. I was new in my job and endured it until I felt it would be reasonable to move. My new department is completely different and much nicer. It can be about politics you're unaware of or worries about you being better at the job than them. Focus on ones who aren't involved and keep records to talk through with your manager if you need to. It's stressful though so look after yourself.

I managed to talk to the colleague in question, we had a good conversation, and it seems as though there was nothing wrong. I also said that if there was anything like that, please let me know. But I could tell he was still trying to ignore me, whilst we passed each other just before in asked. So, hopefully fingers crossed on Tuesday it will be fine. But watched this space.

I also had a conversation with another colleague who I get along with and I think everyone in the office is pretty fed up, with the entire department and there are a lot of people leaving and moving around which is very telling, even the guy who I spoke to had been going to lots of interview!

That’s good you managed to have a chat with him and hopefully whatever is bugging him will pass soon. It sounds like you’re better off getting out of there if you can. Hope it’s all ok on Tuesday