What is happening with my Father in Law in hospital?

[DollyPoxo]

84 year old FIL has been treated for congestive heart failure for about 10+ years. He also has what looks like arthritis in his spine and has suffered with back pain for a year or two. Also had gout previously. About 2 weeks ago, Mother in Law rang to say Father in law was struggling to get in and out of bed and was sleeping in his chair as a result. His stomach was swollen also. We got an emergency intervention team out and Physio and DN assessed him and got him a hospital bed. Two days later DN got him admitted to hospital due to fact that his stomach was so swollen and knee too. He has been in hospital for over a week now. No one can visit due to Covid.
Since he has been in hospital, he hasn't been out of bed and is in a lot of pain. He says stomach still swollen. No assessment by O T and Physio. Doctors say they are focusing on trying to sort medical condition.
I can't help wondering if he is dying with no one even allowed to visit. He is quite confused due to amount of pain medication.
Do you think we should perhaps be pushing Doctors to let us visit if he is on his way out. We feel helpless and desperately worried about him being all alone in hospital.

I’m sorry to hear that your fil is so poorly. Have you been able to speak to the doctor responsible for his care? When I’ve had elderly relatives in hospital, I was able to ring and speak to the ward nurse and then got a call from the doctor after they had done their rounds. Sometimes they only seem to deal with the immediate problem. I think you need to be asking what his prognosis is.

Someone needs to speak to whoever is in charge of his care. How are hospitals still not allowing visitors due to covid
My dad was in heart failure and had a really swollen stomach due to fluid retention but it's hard to know what it is without speaking to anyone. I hope you get some answers soon

Thank you both for responding. My husband has been ringing daily to ask what is happening. He has spoken to the Doctors treating his Dad. He probably needs to specifically ask prognosis so at least we know. So sad for my Father in Law to be completely isolated from family.

My mam had heart failure caused by a leaking aortic valve compounded by COPD and kidney failure and would get swollen stomach and legs. It was usually a case of rebalancing her medication which could take a week or so in hospital during which the fluid was gradually got rid of. They should give you a time to speak to a senior doctor on thr phone who can tell you exactly what tests they have done, outcomes and treatment plan.
Hospitals and GPs are still behaving in unacceptable ways because of Covid. My FIL is in hospital at the minute - he has an ongoing condition which has flared up and will likely take about 10 days to settle with medication and physio- and he has not been allowed visitors. Not linked to covid. Not on an acute ward. MIL double vaccinated and happy to have PCR tests/wear mask etc but not allowed. It's ridiculous. My 2 year old has a rash on his arms and chest - GP not seeing anyone face to face but I can take a photo and send it and they will call me.

That is disgusting you are not allowed to visit. Your poor FIL.

There really has been some very cruel decisions made in the name of COVID.

My grandma with Alzheimer’s fell and broke hip about 8 weeks ago. Was taken by ambulance to goodhope hôpital in Birmingham. Moved 4+ times in hospital; zero visits in any ward. Horrendous. I’ve managed to get through on the phone twice. In 8 weeks. She’s now been moved to a nursing home, 10 day isolation before any visitors. For someone with Alzheimer’s this is literally devastating to not have any social interaction! I can’t really get involved as it’s my mum who has POA etc but if it was my mum I’d go batshit mad and I’d be lodging complaints. Only advice I can offer is be forceful and don’t take no for an answer- you have the right to know exactly what the prognosis is and what they are doing xo

I work in a hospital and yes visiting is limited to only exceptional cases such as end of life and if patients have capacity issues or learning difficulties or are a child.

It's awful for patients I agree but the numbers are going up of patients with COVID and they have to keep people safe

I'd contact the PALS team at the hospital and explain your concerns and ask what's happening and what the plan is for his care

I hope you get things resolved with them

@sjxoxo

My grandma with Alzheimer’s fell and broke hip about 8 weeks ago. Was taken by ambulance to goodhope hôpital in Birmingham. Moved 4+ times in hospital; zero visits in any ward. Horrendous. I’ve managed to get through on the phone twice. In 8 weeks. She’s now been moved to a nursing home, 10 day isolation before any visitors. For someone with Alzheimer’s this is literally devastating to not have any social interaction! I can’t really get involved as it’s my mum who has POA etc but if it was my mum I’d go batshit mad and I’d be lodging complaints. Only advice I can offer is be forceful and don’t take no for an answer- you have the right to know exactly what the prognosis is and what they are doing xo

Hi @sjxoxo Thank you for sharing your experiences. Sorry to hear that your Grandma has moved moved around so many times. Funnily enough, it is Good Hope my Father in Law is in. My DH also found he couldn't get through to Good Hope by phone despite many attempts. However, he now has a direct telephone number for the ward FIL is in and can actually get through on this. This has been a big improvement.

@myheartskippedabeat

I work in a hospital and yes visiting is limited to only exceptional cases such as end of life and if patients have capacity issues or learning difficulties or are a child.

It's awful for patients I agree but the numbers are going up of patients with COVID and they have to keep people safe

I'd contact the PALS team at the hospital and explain your concerns and ask what's happening and what the plan is for his care

I hope you get things resolved with them

Thank you for this excellent advice. I am wondering if FIL would be entitled to a visit on the basis of lack of capacity. He really is quite confused a lot of the time. I'm not sure if it's to do with the mega strong painkillers he is having as he wasn't confused before this hospital admission.

I used to live near Good Hope, back then it was known locally as No Hope. I hope it has improved.

@LuluJakey1

My mam had heart failure caused by a leaking aortic valve compounded by COPD and kidney failure and would get swollen stomach and legs. It was usually a case of rebalancing her medication which could take a week or so in hospital during which the fluid was gradually got rid of. They should give you a time to speak to a senior doctor on thr phone who can tell you exactly what tests they have done, outcomes and treatment plan. Hospitals and GPs are still behaving in unacceptable ways because of Covid. My FIL is in hospital at the minute - he has an ongoing condition which has flared up and will likely take about 10 days to settle with medication and physio- and he has not been allowed visitors. Not linked to covid. Not on an acute ward. MIL double vaccinated and happy to have PCR tests/wear mask etc but not allowed. It's ridiculous. My 2 year old has a rash on his arms and chest - GP not seeing anyone face to face but I can take a photo and send it and they will call me.

@LuluJakey1 Thank you for sharing your experiences. What you say about your mum gives me hope that maybe there is a chance that the hospital can successfully tackle the swelling/Oedema given a bit more time. Sorry to hear the your Father In Law is also in hospital.

@ancientgran

I used to live near Good Hope, back then it was known locally as No Hope. I hope it has improved.

Yes, I have heard it called that too. I'm hoping that there's no truth in it.

@DollyPoxo Wow that’s a coincidence! When she was first admitted to goodhope I googled it and made the mistake of reading the reviews on Google.. some positive but a lot are dire. Missing jewellery etc. They never answer the phone. I did eventually get through once out of 6 or 7 attempts; and that time I had a moan to the main switchboard and funnily enough she got me through to the ward; prior to that they’d not answered once. A&E also do not answer the phone there. My grandma was admitted then a few days later sent to A&E as she wasn’t well; and we called & called and they didn’t answer- for a whole evening and the following morning, so we had no update. She was there alone, in a trolley bed for over 24 hours. Eventually she was moved from A&E to another ward and they finally called my mum. Some wards have phones by bedside; others none. Two of the wards she was on had no mobile, no cordless phone, only the ward phone, fixed to the desk. Like prison. When I spoke to her 3 days ago for the second time in this whole period, she didn’t recognise my DH 😕 It’s very very hard.. I don’t know what the solution is but I think if you’re over 75 or have no mobile phone or Alzheimer’s etc you should be allowed visitors.. tbh I am worried she won’t recover from what was initially not too serious an injury because of the lack of mental care.. glad you got yhr number of the ward- one of the nurses mentioned to me that patients with dementia can have visitors if agreed with the ward manager; she was moved less than 24hrs later so my mum never managed to get in but maybe you will have more luck. I deffo think PALS is a good option as stated above xo

I was in hospital myself for a week last week. No visitors which honestly didn't bother me seeing as I have a phone and can FaceTime everyone. There were two elderly ladies on my ward who hadn't seen family for weeks. The staff especially the health care assistants were absolutely lovely and I can't fault the care I saw. I got numbers of their relatives for them and showed them how to FaceTime on my phone. Made their days being able to do that each evening. This no visiting rule us heart breaking. Best time to ring the ward is lunchtime after the doctors have been round.

@blissfulllife

I was in hospital myself for a week last week. No visitors which honestly didn't bother me seeing as I have a phone and can FaceTime everyone. There were two elderly ladies on my ward who hadn't seen family for weeks. The staff especially the health care assistants were absolutely lovely and I can't fault the care I saw. I got numbers of their relatives for them and showed them how to FaceTime on my phone. Made their days being able to do that each evening. This no visiting rule us heart breaking. Best time to ring the ward is lunchtime after the doctors have been round.

Thank you for the advice about when to ring. We were trying to work out the best time during the day to ring to find out what's happening. I can imagine that the ladies you helped to Face time their relatives must have been so grateful for that. I was only thinking it would be great if we could Face Time FIL. No chance of it though. He hasn't got a smart phone, only a brick (and he is struggling to use brick.).

My FIL was in hospital earlier this year and was allowed visitors as was my mother when she was in for an op in June. Weird how some allow it and others don't.
I'd definitely call and keep calling til you get some answers.

My dad is currently in hospital and he's allowed a visitor one hour a day but it has to be the same person every time.

Our hospital is currently allowing one one hour visit per day, but this needs to be booked with the ward.
I think trusts have different systems in place.
It may be worth trying after 10:30 in the morning or 15:30 in the afternoon, this is the time I tend to visit the wards to see my patients, by then they're washed and fed, and ward rounds have taken place.
Hope you get the answers you want soon.

@DeathWinsAGolfish

Our hospital is currently allowing one one hour visit per day, but this needs to be booked with the ward. I think trusts have different systems in place. It may be worth trying after 10:30 in the morning or 15:30 in the afternoon, this is the time I tend to visit the wards to see my patients, by then they're washed and fed, and ward rounds have taken place. Hope you get the answers you want soon.

Thank you!

@Russell19

My dad is currently in hospital and he's allowed a visitor one hour a day but it has to be the same person every time.

That must be a great comfort to him to be able to have a visitor.

I did a repatriation to another hospital yesterday and mum
Mentioned that her mum was heartbroken that she'd never met her granddaughter. So I suggested they meet the ambulance at the hospital. It was the loveliest moment.

Our hospital is allowing visitors for end of life but that's it. Someone mentioned the fact that their relative was moved frequently from ward to ward. I can guarantee it's because they are struggling to find beds for other patients who need admission. We are having a huge issue, most of our patients need very specific monitoring or specialty help so we end up having to move other patients to try and give best care to others simultaneously. Meanwhile we have to separate wards based on covid status and to top it off we have had an increase in people demanding their own rooms and refusing tests because they want their own way. It's not ideal but it's the only way to admit everyone who needs it.

Hi, I totally understand you. Both my parents were in hospital earlier in the year. Both sadly died in hospital. My bro and I were only allowed to visit when they were both separately comatose. My mum was in hospital for 7 weeks. We are a loving family and we called staff regularly. We got totally different stories from random staff.......until I said (after 7 weeks) I have to speak to a consultant or there will be a lawyer's letter tomorrow. We were then allowed in to say goodbye.

It was harrowing, awful and cruel. I wish I'd broken in, gone to the press, anything. They died alone.

Not the staff's fault. Not really even the government's. No-one to blame but fate, but horrendous even so. I still feel extremely upset.

Call often. Send your p-i-l little cards so he knows your'e all thinking of him. Ask to speak the consultant in charge of his care.

Good luck.

@leli

Hi, I totally understand you. Both my parents were in hospital earlier in the year. Both sadly died in hospital. My bro and I were only allowed to visit when they were both separately comatose. My mum was in hospital for 7 weeks. We are a loving family and we called staff regularly. We got totally different stories from random staff.......until I said (after 7 weeks) I have to speak to a consultant or there will be a lawyer's letter tomorrow. We were then allowed in to say goodbye.

It was harrowing, awful and cruel. I wish I'd broken in, gone to the press, anything. They died alone.

Not the staff's fault. Not really even the government's. No-one to blame but fate, but horrendous even so. I still feel extremely upset.

Call often. Send your p-i-l little cards so he knows your'e all thinking of him. Ask to speak the consultant in charge of his care.

Good luck.

I am so sorry to hear about this. That's horrific. Lovely idea about sending in cards. DHs neice dropped off some pictures today of her son (FILs great grand son) which was lovely and apparently gave him a lot of pleasure.

@DollyPoxo

How's things?