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Disorganised people step this way

10 replies

AnotheChinHair · 25/08/2021 10:05

Please help me get my shit together. Seriously. It's not just the messiness of my house, it's also my desk, both at home and work, my handbags, my pockets... and of course my brain. How do you get yourself organised? Tangible stuff works better for me than online calendars, notebooks, etc.

OP posts:
muffindays · 25/08/2021 10:10

hi OP, if you could change your title to "organised" rather than "disorganised people step this way" you might get the right people coming along to help Grin Grin

Seriously though there is no substitute for online calendars, email reminders, etc.

Read Atomic Habits by James Clear. It is sensational and you will have no idea how many people rave about it. If you want to start a habit start small. E.g. clear one small part of your desk every day. Once this habit is going (and do not deviate from it) work on everything else.

I also cannot recommend decluttering enough. I have made it a habit to get rid of 3 items each day. Keep going small and steady. When you have less stuff it's easier to stay on top. Then have a bigger decluttering session say monthly.

Use an "Inbox zero" technique whereby you deal with emails as soon as they arrive then delete or file in a "pending" folder you regularly clear out. Then set up your calendar to pop you an email or phone notification each time something needs doing, and do it straight away.

Best of luck OP.

Camomila · 25/08/2021 10:11

Lurking

I would have enjoyed being a dad in the 1950s I think - I have a very "absent minded professer" type personality - can't get away with it as a 2020s working mum.

banivani · 25/08/2021 10:18

@Camomila

Lurking

I would have enjoyed being a dad in the 1950s I think - I have a very "absent minded professer" type personality - can't get away with it as a 2020s working mum.

Hear hear!
maxelly · 25/08/2021 10:50

Agree with the small changes/habits things, where I always go wrong is in imagining I am going to totally revolutionise my entire life in one fell swoop, new routines for cleaning the house, new organisation methods, new work systems, new diet/weight loss methodology, new everything basically, an entire life transformation! I usually get as far as buying the stationary/gadgets and writing up a lovely plan, sometimes I can stick to it for a week or so and then it all goes to pot!

It's a bit of an aphrorism but it takes a long time (some say 100 repetitions) for a change to become a habit, so if you really want something to stick it needs to be manageable enough to do it over and over again. Things that have helped me are:

-Dedicated email/planning time at the start and end of every day to go through the inbox/incoming tasks (nb not actually responding/'actioning', just working out what's there and how I am going to deal with) and prioritising or booking in time for longer tasks. I have a notebook (mine is online but you could buy and use a physical notebook) where I jot down incoming tasks/things people mention to me/things which pop into my head during the day so they aren't lost (but I don't give them immediate headspace as I'm very easily distracted), in my next planning slot I will go through the notebook and book proper time to and sort them out.

-A good shared family calendar that everyone uses, can be electronic or physical but somewhere all in one place where you can see everyone's commitments. We have a house rule that if it isn't on the calendar it doesn't get taken into account, so if you don't put your commitments on you may be 'booked in' for childcare or to go to a family event or whatever and it's then down to you to sort that out.

-Rigorous systematised meal planning, shifts a lot of the effort of thinking about/negotiating/shopping for meals to the weekend rather than in the week when everyone's rushing out/stressed and having hanger fuelled arguments!

Returnoftheowl · 25/08/2021 11:00

I think you want organised people on this thread, not the disorganised ones!

I do something with emails as soon as I get them. Either read & delete, read & reply, delete or read& file.

A diary or calender to write things down on. I use the calender on my phone, but that might not be tangible enough for you.

A filing system - folders for everything (manuals, car, home, pets, job, personal).

Decluttering... Be ruthless. The less there is the easier it is to keep track of.

Bbub · 25/08/2021 11:22

Is there anything you can automate to avoid having to think about it? I thought I was paying my water, gas and electricity by direct debits and was reply perplexed to get bill seperate bills 😳

AnotheChinHair · 25/08/2021 11:23

@muffindays you're right, asking for likeminded folk to give me advice is my first mistake GrinGrinGrin.
I am so disorganised with everything, meals, my diet, exercise, my job, my house, my life...
I am forever marking things 'to read later' or leave tabs open to go back to, and I never do.

OP posts:
mallowvalley · 25/08/2021 12:06

Do you possibly have ADHD? I have similar problems, mainly relating to house organisation and employment issues, and I am currently seeking an ADHD assessment. It presents differently in women, mainly less hyperactive and more feeling overwhelmed.

AnotheChinHair · 25/08/2021 12:44

I think I do @mallowvalley, as I have done a lot of research in regards to my own DD as she's currently undergoing assessment. Still, whether I have it or not, the truth is that I need to do something to organise myself a little!

OP posts:
PutYourBackIntoit · 25/08/2021 13:20

You are my people!

My dd has recently been diagnosed with adhd, am convinced I have it too.

Funnily enough, I think it is the disorganised you need to hear from, as the organised will tell you what works for them which might not be as helpful as what has really worked for the disorganised!

I completely resonate with you...my desk is awful atm.

One big thing that has helped me is getting mindful chef. 3 meals a week for the whole family. No thinking, no shopping, just cook as per the recipe. The rest of the meals are a mixture of leftovers, beans on toast or pizza.

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