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How to divorce a cheating, ‘must win at all costs’ man- please share your tips with me…

6 replies

ISeeRedFlags · 25/08/2021 09:41

NC so as not to be too identifiable

Have taken the Coats Protection route of putting ducks in row but this was prematurely cut short when H was putting me and our 3 kids at risk.

Basic background-
Married 21 years
3 kids 17, 15, 14 (one SN)
I was a SAHM

H has been cheating on and off through our crap marriage, I stayed to protect the kids from his awful family (I have no family in this country) his family are very wealthy- all the family cheat in business and personal endeavours they’re just awful.- given how dreadful they’re all behaving now my family and friends are 100% in agreement I did the right thing staying.

I kicked H out prematurely when I learnt he was fucking someone during the actual Lockdown and he was pretending to work (I had him followed) he is furious that I’ve done this and we’re barely speaking and about to fill out E forms.

In business he’s very wriggly -I’ve been privy to his dodgy dealings and I really want to minimise possible damage - as it is he won’t pay any maintenance claiming to have no money (he earns 6 figures unless he’s been fired) he’s never been able to manage money well.

I’d love a heads up and to know what tricks your ex’s tried to pull to avoid any mis steps - I feel very alone as I have no close mates or family around as only know people who’ve divorced very amicably

I have a decent solicitor who’s helping me with steps.
Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
ISeeRedFlags · 25/08/2021 10:52

Anyone?

OP posts:
Galassia · 25/08/2021 11:04

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AmandaHoldensLips · 25/08/2021 11:10

Unless he is salaried, you're going to have a hard time proving assets and income. I never got a penny from my exH. He lied about everything, refused to pay child support, and there was nothing I could do about it. Last I heard he has five houses.

So buckle up, and get yourself a good lawyer.

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ISeeRedFlags · 25/08/2021 12:05

@AmandaHoldensLips how could he not pay anything?

OP posts:
AmandaHoldensLips · 25/08/2021 12:44

Unbelievable isn't it? I never got a red cent. He was (remains) a full on psychopath narc - I had absolutely no idea what I was dealing with at the time. My kids are all grown up now so it's water under the bridge, but it was really really hard to deal with because it was so completely unfair.

ISeeRedFlags · 25/08/2021 21:04

Wow how can that happen. It’s baffling to me.
At the moment he is salaried but I expect this to change very quickly

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