[quote XDownwiththissortofthingX]@TractorAndHeadphones
I have no issue at all with other autistic people regarding their own traits as problematic, or indeed, their autism as a problem.
@AlfonsoTheMango already articulated my thoughts far more concisely than I could, but simply put, I can't accept your original statement because it implies ALL autistic behaviours are problematic, and therefore autism is a problem. My autism isn't a problem in the slightest, it's the fact that society deems my lifestyle, living arrangements, coping mechanisms etc 'atypical' or 'abnormal', and therefore medicalises them as an illness that requires treatment or some sort of therapy in order to amend by behaviours into something society deems acceptable.
Bollocks to that.
What I actually need is to be left in peace to live my life in a way that means I can make my own adjustments that permit me to function perfectly satisfactorily. When other people insist ALL autism is problematic, and therefore MY autism is problematic ,when it has no impact on anyone else's life but my own, I am not going to accept that because it simply isn't true, and it perpetuates this nonsense belief that autistic people need to accommodate a society set up to suit NT people, rather than society accepting that 'normal' behaviour is a far broader spectrum of behaviours than has been deemed 'acceptable' until now.
I totally accept that for some autistic people they absolutely do require help and support because of their autism, but there is far too much focus on autism as a disability, and too little on the fact that what causes a huge amount of distress is not autistic behaviours themselves, but the way that NT-centric society attempts to force compliance rather than adjusting it's idea of what is 'normal'. I will never accept being told that I'm a problem because of behaviours that are perfectly naturally occurring.[/quote]
Accommodation goes both ways. So if autistic people shouldn't have to accommodate a society set up for NT's (perfectly valid), then NT's don't have to accommodate autistic people (perfectly valid).
Great! So we don't have to do anything but just not judge each other and everyone will be happy.
Except that it's not the way it works is it?
At least one party has to be 'understanding'. Some extra effort has to be made on one side. For example you mentioned people not accepting you speaking your mind and them being 'uncomfortable'. The solution according to you is for them to accept your behaviour - but ironically you don't accept their behaviour (which is their reaction to your words) either. If of course you do not care at all how they react then you are right, nothing to see here , you can disregard this entire paragraph.
My point was not that a specific individual was a problem but that extra effort, adjustments, whatever word you like needs to be made when there is a deviation from the norm.. Wheelchair users for instance - if every surface was well designed then they'd be about as mobile as someone who could walk and not 'disabled'. But the inherent reason that extra solutions (e.g. ramps) are needed is because their physical ability deviates from the norm. Because of this deviation it is classed as a disability.
Whether that solution is NT's be more understanding (as you have said) or society forces autistic people to think like NT's (which is what you said currently happens) is not my point of of discussion here. But either requires active action going out of the way on the part of whoever's closing the gap. The action is therefore a solution to a problem. Like a mathematical problem.
Also for the record.. I have ADD and my partner is autistic... you should see the hilarity that ensues... no NT's involved here! He has to be understanding, as do I. If we both decided to just go along doing as we please in keeping with our respective neurotypes we'd be punishing only ourselves. I have changed the way I say things for him to understand, but he extends the same courtesy to me. If it all went one way in either direction it wouldn't be fair.