Has anyone here ever worked for an asshole?

[KittyScratch]

My nerves are shot. I like my work and I do my best and if anything I go above and beyond my duties. I'm a nanny for a family and sometimes I question what I'm doing there. The parents weren't always so bad but lately the mother is unreal with her moods. Maybe it's some sort of 40s perimenopausal stuff. I don't know but she's becoming increasingly more difficult to work for as time goes on. She's actually bordering on bullying at this stage. I had a good day today until the mother came home. She's home since 6 and the minute she placed her foot in the door she started barking criticism by way. She's in a similar way to her husband and her teenage daughter. I'm so sick of it. I did my best all day and all she could do was pick out the negatives and criticise, criticise, criticise. She won't do even half of the load that she's so quick to dump on me. I don't have fairies fall from the sky to clean my home and laundry when I'm stuck in her home for 10+ hours a day and often weekends on top of it. The mother has been home since 6 and I'm still at work although I wrote this in a back room while I grab a few minutes.

Life is too short. Start applying for other jobs and get the hell out of there. Its not worth it.

I worked for a bully. I only had to stand up to him once and he never gave me any trouble again, although he was still vile to every else, we came to an understanding based on mutual professional respect.

That was in a corporate environment though, I'm not sure it would translate easily into your situation. Worth a try of your only other option is to leave anyway though.

There's a few more other issues too but being barked criticism and dirt is the biggest thing for me.

Are you living with them? Is there somewhere else you can stay?

I would leave. Life is too short for that shit.

Please don't blame women's shittiness on hormones. It's cheap and sexist.

I've worked for arseholes. There's two strategies. One, leave. Two, find your joy in whatever the actual work is and have extremely good boundaries. That means telling her what you will reasonably put up with and the consequences of her not understanding that.

Yep and I ended up with work related stress, anxiety and depression. Once my medication levelled me out a bit and I began to feel a bit more like my normal self I quit and never looked back.

I worked for a guy who was a grade A knobhead. He would change his mind daily about how he wanted things done and then you would have to redo the whole thing. I eventually ended up walking out after I had just finished retyping nearly 100 invoices and he then decided that he preferred the original way. I stood up got my stuff and told him to stick his job up his ass 🤣🤣 I was 19 and something just broke in me that day

Hang on a minute - how many hours a week do you work?

No way. That sounds awful.
Hand in your notice as soon as you can, this is no way to be treated and you don't have to put up with it.

Find something else.

It's different every week. During the winter and school term, it's a little bit more relaxed and it's about 38 hours a week but holiday times like summer, halloween, Christmas, mid term break, Easter - the hours are often much longer. It can be anything 50/60/70 hours +. I do t get paid hourly like the law states. It's a weekly wage whether I work 38 hours or 70 hours it's the same. It was dressed up to me originally that I would get more time off during the school term and I wouldnt have to work as much hours and outside of school hours, I would be required to work for more but the two would cancel each other out. It was dressed up that during the winters I would be overpaid and then It would cancel out over the summer and other holidays. It did work out well originally but over time more and more hours were tagged on all around the year.

Get another job and leave, they're taking the piss.

Time to leave. Good nannies are sought after, you will find something soon.

Yes I had a bullying boss, I tried to rise above it but after just a few months my mental health really started to suffer. I complained about her to her manager and luckily was given a different manager (turns out multiple people had complained about her in the past). In your situation I would unfortunately suggest that you look for another job.

Time to go. You should be either paid a flat rate with set hours or hourly paid. You've got the worst of both worlds there.

There are other jobs out there, OP.

The original lockdown was the first time in years that I got a breather from my work and a taste of a balanced work/life schedule. Everywhere was shut and no one was allowed to visit homes for social gatherings. The first time in a long time I got a work day that was more balanced. Maybe 6 hours instead of the usual 8/9/10/11/12/13 hours a day.

Please tell me that they are paying you properly as an employee with payslips and so on.

You should make claim for all the hours you haven't been paid minimum wage (unless your basic salary is very good indeed) and leave.

Leave. I worked for an asshole once, he micromanaged every aspect of my job and tried to force me to work extra hours, was just not a plesant person.
Since I quit he has had 2 more junior members quit and has only managed to hold on to 1 member of staff, even that member of staff refers to him as a sexist asshole

I would say it's time to start looking for another post, families are crying out for nannies at the moment

Yep in fact I could’ve pretty much written POPGoesTheBandits post.

Politely hand in your notice, ensure you get a good reference, and move on to a new job. Can you register with an agency? Experienced nannies are in high.demand.

Also like others said I tried to stick it out. Ended up having a panic attack ( hadnt had one for the 6 years previous) and got signed off on sick leave but it took quite a while for my mental health to recover.

I worked for someone who was best friends with my colleague at the same level as me.
They would approve last minute holiday so they could go to the pub together and leave me alone to do all the work. Go off on holiday together and not cover shifts. Colleague would phone in sick after being out on the piss with the manager. Colleague would spend the shift in the office chatting and having tea while I busted my arse serving customers.
Honestly, leave. You can't change their behaviour, so find a better environment to work in. Best thing I ever did.