Has anyone sent a cease-and-desist letter?

[AchingLimbs]

How did you do it?
Did you use a solicitor, or did you write it yourself?

Did it work?

@2RedShoes

Yes. We sent a very expensive letter to a former business partner who was defaming DH.

It cost about £2 k, was via some well known defamation lawyers and it worked because he was a million percent lying and we had proof. (As an aside, and not entirely unrelated, the defaming party subsequently was done for fraud and embezzlement).

When you say it “worked”, what was the result? He retracted comments? You were compensated?

And clearly i am not going to detail any more than that.

@2RedShoes

I'd go to a solicitor. If he is sending sexually violent messages and harrassing you and the police seem unwilling to handle it then deffo approach a solicitor. I'd approach one who specialises in family law as they more often or not have experience with domestic violence. I used to be a family law solicitor, FWIW and I would certainly send a cease and desist letter along with a threat for a non-mol order if he persists. As a parent he is an 'associated person' which means you can apply for a non-molestation against him. If he breaches it he can be sent to jail. I have seen that happen a few times in my (former career).

But the situation, if you were my client sitting in front of me would have been as follows- send a letter telling him to stop, and explianing your next steps. Then the next steps.

I would not hesitate personally. Good luck.

@2RedShoes Thanks for this advice, I was hoping someone who works/ed as a family law solicitor would reply. I will look for a solicitor to help me with this. The police will take action but it may take some time, and I think he is likely to hear the words "non-molestation order" and pay heed, and realise the severity of what he did.

Thank you for confirming this. Also for sharing your story. I did read it yesterday, but no time to reply. You have been through the mill, you poor things.

@BillieSpain

The OP wants to know if anyone has done this.

Thank you! It's very easy to offer advice in times like this, but you're right, I was looking for examples where people have sent this kind of letter - and the outcomes - rather than advice on managing him!

I sent one to a neighbour who was spreading rumors that I'd killed and harmed her cats.
Apparently I walked to her house daily and put poison from a little bottle in my pocket in the cat's drinking water in her garden. She had proof, she told everyone she could.
It was obviously a pile of crap.
I wrote her a cease and desist letter and advised her I would take it to lawyers and the police for defamation of my character and false accusations.
She stopped immediately. And even tried to be friendly at a later date...not happening, obviously.
It worked for me, and it's worth a try for you. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Yes we have. We have a fantastic solicitor who is a fearsome woman and writes letters that would terrify me if I was on the receiving end of one.

Thanks so much, @yellowsofa and @Jamandlemoncurd

Sounds like a good solicitor is key. Cat lady sounds barking. The police officer I spoke to said that it's a good idea, because if the behaviour persists, I have concrete evidence that it escalated to an extent where I very obviously wanted it to stop. I will do some research into a good family solicitor. Thanks for help!

I know you don’t want advice on the issue, but it’s a Misuse of Telecommunications act, only takes two counts to be prosecuted if CPS think it’s worthwhile. I agree a letter is a good idea, but tbh, it’s a police matter and they should go and speak to him or better yet, take him down the station for an interview.

Hi, thanks for advice. I’ve already talked to the police. The office & it’s being taken very seriously.

@yellowsofa

I sent one to a neighbour who was spreading rumors that I'd killed and harmed her cats. Apparently I walked to her house daily and put poison from a little bottle in my pocket in the cat's drinking water in her garden. She had proof, she told everyone she could. It was obviously a pile of crap. I wrote her a cease and desist letter and advised her I would take it to lawyers and the police for defamation of my character and false accusations. She stopped immediately. And even tried to be friendly at a later date...not happening, obviously. It worked for me, and it's worth a try for you. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Aren’t batshit neighbours the worst?

I had one try and spread lies about me. Apparently I was repeatedly threatening her and she was terrified. Everyone I told this story to laughed. It’s just not me at all. If anything I need to work on my assertiveness skills

Sorry, error in wording there.
The police officer said a letter would also be good.

@AchingLimbs

Hi, thanks for advice. I’ve already talked to the police. The office & it’s being taken very seriously.

What are they doing?

Happy to send you details of mine if you wish. She's remarkable