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Original poster

Random waves of sadness

65 replies

Constellation89 · 23/08/2021 22:42

Hello
Sorry if this isn't in the correct place.
Just wanted to see if anyone else has these sudden sad feelings? It's as if everything is going well and I'm in the middle of something mundane like housework and suddenly I feel very sad and everything seems very bleak for a minute or two and I feel utterly lonely and isolated with my sadness. I have a tendency to overthink anyway and I'll suddenly remember an unpleasant event from my past and feel utterly terrible about it straight out of the blue, like the unpleasant memory of a particular event or incident flashes back to me. It fades after a few minutes but is horrible when it happens. I have anxiety anyway which magnifies this sadness. I know it sounds odd written down! Anyone else have anything like this?

OP posts:
irresistibleoverwhelm · 24/08/2021 07:32

I haven’t had this for a while, but I used to get this as a child and teenager. Like a sudden strong wave of intense existential despair and sadness. I used to try to breathe through it until it passed (in a few seconds). Always wondered if other people experienced it too.

Treezan82 · 24/08/2021 07:35

This may sound strange, but could any of you be dehydrated? Apparently it can cause this.

QueenPeary · 24/08/2021 07:47

Yes I had this when BF, and I think it can be hormonal - have also had it a few times through menopause. It’s not odd - it helps me to remember we have a big range of emotions and we have to acknowledge the bad ones too. There’s a big cultural push to always be happy and positive but sadness is something that happens, whether for reasons or just randomly. I try to let it wash over me rather than fight it if that makes sense, knowing it will pass.

lucysnowe2 · 24/08/2021 07:47

That D-MER thing is fascinating, I have definitely experienced that! But I also get waves of sadness when I'm with other people and having a good time and suddenly the bottom drop out. I call it seeing the skull beneath the skin... suddenly aware of mortality and temporality or something.... or else hormones :)

Frazzle76 · 24/08/2021 09:51

@LongDissidence

I get this with breastfeeding. D-MER, it's called (though that's the lactating term specifically) (dysphoric milk ejection reflex). It's like an intense pang of loneliness, sadness...a homesick feeling even though I'm home. Like an empty, falling, pit of despair type feeling.

I hate it.

Omg. I thought it was because I miss my parents and life is so bloody hard. But it's this (probably as well as honestly) but I'm not as crazy as I thought! It's this! Thank you so much.
IdblowJonSnow · 24/08/2021 09:57

I can relate to this - and also the breast feeding thing. Very disconcerting.

dontforgettofloss · 24/08/2021 11:07

I've had this feeling a lot since the pandemic (not breastfeeding) and it's becoming worst.
Even when I'm around loved ones, I feel empty, sad, and have like a homesick feeling, I hate it Sad

Panticus · 24/08/2021 12:00

I get this too with baths and showers (not all of them, just sometimes). It is the most awfully intense feeling of loneliness for me, but then it goes away after a couple of minutes. So strange!

juliainthedeepwater · 24/08/2021 12:19

Is anyone else finding this thread so incredibly moving? I recognise exactly what you’re describing and it’s the loneliest feeling.. to hear other people talking about their experience of it is just so powerful and comforting.

The breastfeeding thing too I suffer terribly. A sort of empty desolate yearning feeling. I mentioned to a doctor once and she looked totally blank. So I googled and found women talking about it on mumsnet. I’m not a huge fan of social media all in, but it really can have its moments.

dontforgettofloss · 24/08/2021 12:24

@juliainthedeepwater

Is anyone else finding this thread so incredibly moving? I recognise exactly what you’re describing and it’s the loneliest feeling.. to hear other people talking about their experience of it is just so powerful and comforting.

The breastfeeding thing too I suffer terribly. A sort of empty desolate yearning feeling. I mentioned to a doctor once and she looked totally blank. So I googled and found women talking about it on mumsnet. I’m not a huge fan of social media all in, but it really can have its moments.

Yes, moving and actually somewhat of a relief to know that I'm not alone. I find it hard to put my feelings in to words, and also hard to understand. I'm around my family, and people I love, but it feels like something is missing
GhostRyder · 24/08/2021 12:24

This thread is fascinating especially the water connection. I get a sense of sadness and shame when having a shower. I’m not sure why, is it because I’m totally naked and vulnerable or is it entirely to do with the water

adeleh · 24/08/2021 12:53

I wonder if the bath thing is a longing to be back in the womb, encircled by safe, warm fluid.

irresistibleoverwhelm · 24/08/2021 13:23

Yes! It’s like suddenly the shield of normal life drops away and it’s like you’re experiencing a great void of horror and despair beyond.

I had the same feeling when I suffered from panic attacks when I had dreadful side effects adjusting to a neurological medication. That convinced me that it’s some kind of glitch of brain chemistry, but it really feels like some kind of paranormal experience - like you’re suddenly seeing beneath the veil of existence and it’s all boiling horror and dread beyond.

I think similar experiences must have inspired lots of visions of devils and evil in the past, and things like Expressionist art (Munch etc.)

Original poster
Constellation89 · 28/08/2021 21:17

Thank you to all who have responded, sorry to hear many of you feel the same with this but at the same time it's really helped to hear that I'm not alone (if that makes sense!). Apologies for taking forever to get back to the thread, I dropped my phone and broke the screen so had to get it repaired. Thank you all. Can definitely relate!
Could be pre menopausal, that's interesting. I do suffer hormone imbalance so could be having an effect. Can also relate to the water/bath/shower sadness.

OP posts:
DarlingFell · 29/08/2021 07:39

Yes I get this in the shower. Feelings of dread and loneliness even though I’m anything but. I’m v happy in my life yet I get these awful flashbacks to embarrassing things I have done in the past, I cringe worrying the people involved must still thing about these events (that happened decades ago). I get these feelings randomly also. I also remember times at school when I fell out with friends and the feelings of isolation, I’m 47!

I wonder if the shower thing is because that’s a time where we get to think about things, when time stands still even for a few minutes..

I can be a reflective person anyway but really do try not to ‘think’ too much and I avoid ruminating on conversations. I am on Sertraline as the dark thoughts were so intrusive they were beginning to be a daily occurrence..

pleaseletthecatout · 29/08/2021 07:51

I feel like this most of the time when the depression is upon me. It's absolutely desolate and feels like grief.

LagneyandCasey · 29/08/2021 09:28

I get this in supermarkets too. I'm sure it's because when ds was 3 I lost him for a few minutes in a supermarket. It was utterly terrifying and it wasn't that long after Jamie Bulmer so that all flashed through my mind. The bright lights, the music and the sound of trolley wheels makes my stomach plunge for a few seconds and then it passes.

The water must be something deep down like pp have said, being scared in the bath as a baby.

I can only imagine what it must be like to have full blown ptsd Sad

LagneyandCasey · 29/08/2021 09:29

Sorry, Jamie Bulger Sad

MsAnnFrope · 29/08/2021 09:47

Wow I found this so unnerving as I experience the hot Bath thing and I genuinely thought it was just me. I love water and baths but just as i get in I feel desolate sadness.

I definitely experienced the mood drop in breastfeeding and was lucky enough to be part of a clinical psychologist study into it which validated my feelings even if it was after the fact so I don’t have any suggestions on how to manage it.
Interestingly I have the same thing if my nipples are touched but only at certain times of the month. I think my mood is unusually susceptible to hormonal fluctuations!!

celebrategoodtimes42 · 29/08/2021 10:10

Yes, I get this. In fact I had it just last week, I sat down to eat dinner with DH and this overwhelming feeling of sadness came over me and I felt close to tears

Elieza · 29/08/2021 10:31

I think when things upset us we bury them but they have to come out until we deal with them. I probably need more counselling. However I’m peri too so it is prob a combination of both.

Giggorata · 29/08/2021 10:35

I get this feeling outside at night, occasionally. It isn’t really related to the dark or the temperature but I used to call it my “cold feeling”.
The feelings of sadness and loneliness and despair, unconnected to anything that I could name.
I don't get it so often now, thankfully.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 29/08/2021 11:51

I have this too sometimes; more frequently of late. It's odd that posters have mentioned baths and showers as I most often get this in the swimming pool. It's strange as it's a place I've elected to go to but, I get in, start swimming and feel this air of doom coming over me. It's the weirdest feeling. I put it down to menopause or the tablets I'm taking but perhaps it's not that/those at all.

It really is the strangest feeling and I only persevere with swimming because it 'wears off' after about 10-15 minutes and I feel ok again.

Really, really weird.

MargaretThursday · 29/08/2021 13:47

I get it with hormones. It's normally 1-3 days before my period starts.

Awayfromhome448 · 01/09/2021 22:27

@MargaretThursday yes me too although I've also found that I get it at ovulation time as well. I overthink and ruminate something chronic too which feels like I'm back in the past, reliving certain events which I'd rather forget

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