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HELP - DS gone to school in US and School isn't at all suitable

52 replies

SortCode · 23/08/2021 22:39

Need some urgent advice please from those who have experienced this NO nasty jibes or digs please.

DS is 16 just finished GCSEs here - gone to US on a student F1 visa - school is linked to a junior sport he's doing...sport is the main reason he is going but obviously continuing his education is important as well.

We knew it was an international school and knew he would be ahead in his learning but:

Classes are full of non English speaking students therefore teachers are slow, using visual aids to translate and communicate and pausing all the time - the classes are aimed at these students where English is a 2nd language

Classes are at least 3 years behind where DS is now - we knew he maybe 1 year ahead but they are way behind

Only 3 teachers

He cant be moved up as this is 12th grade so last grade

He is beside himself, absolutely distraught

He spoke to the Head and he said couldn't give him any other work or give him any other classes to his timetable. Said he could transfer his visa to another school couldn't see a problem

I'm so annoyed at 1 the sports club for telling us this would be his school and also we had Zoom calls with the head teacher and we specifically said at what DS predicted grades would be (As and A*s) he knew that he would be above there at the top - why didnt he say this school isnt suitable for him etc.

Im just about to send the host and school co-ordinator at the sports club an email - they need to find a suitable school for DS

Anyone else experienced this???

OP posts:
ssd · 24/08/2021 12:08

Were you taken in by the promise he'd get a great career after this?
I'd say you were sold a dud.
Are there no opportunities here for his sport?

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 24/08/2021 12:29

@SortCode

Club co-ordinator is looking into 2 schools nearby - Im so annoyed at them though!!! They do have kids from Russia and Czech coming over and I can see how the school would work for them. But they knew DS was 16 finished school in the UK and that his grades were going to be A*s and As across the board - no way was this school ever going to be suitable for him. Awful also to say but he said that alot of the kids looked as if there were there because they were extremely below average in their learning and no where else would accept them
"no where else would accept them" That is not how school works in the US, unless you are only referring to private school. In the US your local school (it goes by what school is assigned to your address) HAS to take you. If he is living with a family they should enroll him in their local High School.
Needapoodle · 24/08/2021 12:33

Sounds like you really didn't do enough research.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

BiBabbles · 24/08/2021 12:54

I would get immigration advice on this. As you said, an F1 visa is a student visa, so you need someone knowledgeable enough on the current rules around that type visa or you could render it invalid - from a quick read, you can switch schools while on it, but there are rules on it that have to be followed and I'm well aware of how fast those rules can change so I wouldn't trust anything online to be in date.

Get a professional who can handle your case separate from whatever sports thing you went through for this, and possibly consider online classes or self teaching resources he can use alongside this situation while you wait if you don't think bringing him back is the best option.

Wroxie · 24/08/2021 14:27

Sounds to me like you've been scammed by someone who's convinced you that your kid has a career in sport in their future. That is highly unlikely, and sad that you've fallen for it. You should bring them home and quit risking your kid's safety and education over foolish pipe dreams.

Empressofthemundane · 24/08/2021 17:21

Sounds like a tennis academy to me.

Empressofthemundane · 24/08/2021 17:24

@PlanDeRaccordement

What you say makes sense, but then I wonder about all the poor kids on sports scholarships to big state universities. There are an awful lot of them coming out poorly funded southern states.

Nobloat21 · 24/08/2021 17:46

Oh dear re posters saying it's a scam.

I was going to say just take the experience and return home to continue education.

Geamhradh · 24/08/2021 18:17

@Nobloat21

Oh dear re posters saying it's a scam.

I was going to say just take the experience and return home to continue education.

I'm afraid I agree. I send about 10 students (Italian) to the US every year and it costs a fortune, the kids themselves are psychologically assessed with home visits and all sorts for at least 9 months before they leave, their host families are vetted, there is a named liaison at the original school who coordinates communication with the US school (academic programme integration, work to be done before leaving, etc etc) The kids go to what we fondly call a "holding pen" for a week in NY where they are given further information about what studying in a foreign (to you) high school is going to entail, and they have always had at least 3 months communication with the person at the school they've been placed in before they go. Their personal tutor, and in most cases future classmates. We still have kids who are unhappy- a couple change family. But even though they are paying (something like £30,000 for the year) they won't necessarily be accepted. Depends on the assessments (psych) and family home visits usually.
Kanaloa · 24/08/2021 18:18

Yes, I remember your post about trying to hastily get him a visa appointment because he needed to be there within the month and you hadn’t had an appointment yet. I’m sorry to say it sounded then as if you weren’t getting much support - my experience of studying abroad is that it’s best done through reputable means, such as the Erasmus scheme or an exchange programme through a university or college.

The good thing about that is you then have a contact at your college or university who can advise you about important matters, and you can return to your ‘base’ university if you really dislike it with their support.

I would say cut your losses and bring him home if the person who organised this cannot help.

CorrBlimeyGG · 24/08/2021 18:39

As with others, I'd book him a ticket home and write this off as a bad experience.

I know people who have studied in the US on sports scholarships. Every expense is covered - travel, education, comprehensive medical insurance. How much have you spent on this so far, and how much more over the year?

PamDenick · 24/08/2021 18:49

The sixth forms here don’t start in earnest for a couple of weeks. Maybe cut your losses?

Pallisers · 24/08/2021 18:59

I'm in the US and this sounds very dodgy - even the sport thing? Is he in a club?

At that age, a lot of sport is done though school (with some club stuff for some sports). private schools will often recruit high school students for sport, offering full scholarships. College recruiters look at high school sports for offering scholarships.

FVFrog · 24/08/2021 19:11

We need more info to give you better perspectives and opinions.
What is the sport and where in the US, I too have lived in the US for many years and have DCs go through education system

Rannva · 24/08/2021 19:14

@SortCode

Absolutely asked about it all.

Im paying £600 a month also for the school. class today batr 2 student no one could speak or understand English -

It's a dump he said really run down, tables and chair held together with tape.

Yep, private schools in the US are just money-making schemes. Claim to offer a sport or 'Christian' education but they're just making the owners rich. Some districts have no public schools at all now; all paid for or vouchers. All a massive scam.

You have my sympathy; they will definitely have hidden this from you and dumped the poor lad there in a hope he'd have no interest in academia at all.

Hopefully you can get him moved to regular high school, if his Visa allows.

cabingirl · 24/08/2021 19:47

F1 students can go to the public high school but only for 1 year and there is still a fee.

Private schools will be often be very expensive - but you can usually tailor your classes to suit the student more.

You might need to do your own research on the schools as it sounds like this organization isn't helping you

Here's the government's school search engine for F1 students to find suitable schools

studyinthestates.dhs.gov/school-search

Also - I'm not sure how it would work with his visa but many areas offer really good virtual options now too.

tempester28 · 24/08/2021 19:59

I would bring him home, get the a-levels and apply to a US university that offers the sport. That would be a much better experience for him.

School doesn’t start here for two weeks so you cut your loses.

SpecificPacific · 24/08/2021 20:30

I have a friend who’s son did exactly the same thing although the school was great and he loved it. He stayed there throughout Uni playing the sport then was essentially kicked out once studies ended…he excelled at the sport but didn’t quite make the cut at professional level. Couldn’t get a visa to stay and had to come home heartbroken as he absolutely loved it out there. All quite sad really!

SpecificPacific · 24/08/2021 20:33

…as in I don’t think he’s ever got over not being allowed to stay. I think the experience was great but overall not a positive in his life as he had to leave all friends etc and doesn’t have lots of friends here as moved out there at 16.

TartanJumper · 24/08/2021 21:11

Is there any way he can do online school to supplement?

SortCode · 25/08/2021 00:33

So his F1 visa expires in 5 years
He's in a sport where at 16 he will develop over the next 2 years or so. If he stayed here did ALs then tried to get into a team the age group would be saturated but now he can progress through.

A high school said there is a place for him although public we would need to pay. They are looking into transfering and raising the appropriate i20. School looks much better for him plus nr where he's staying. Fingers crossed!!!

OP posts:
L1ttleSeahorse · 25/08/2021 01:23

This all sounds rather tricky. Good luck .

cabingirl · 25/08/2021 16:06

@SortCode

So his F1 visa expires in 5 years He's in a sport where at 16 he will develop over the next 2 years or so. If he stayed here did ALs then tried to get into a team the age group would be saturated but now he can progress through.

A high school said there is a place for him although public we would need to pay. They are looking into transfering and raising the appropriate i20. School looks much better for him plus nr where he's staying. Fingers crossed!!!

That sounds good. But be aware that he can only do one year of public school on an F1 visa.

Will he be able to graduate with one more year of school? If he can get enough credits it should be possible.

But if he still needs to do lessons next year to get a high school diploma then he will need to do that in a private school.

SortCode · 26/08/2021 10:17

UPDATE
The district office for the local high school where he is living said yes they would take him and get the transfer paperwork etc. There is a cost still but it's ok we can manage that.

They then came back with "The school has already started the school year now so he cant come" But they are happy to take a US kid who is coming from a another state in 2 weeks!!!

My contact who is dealing with it thinks the district office just don't want to do the paperwork!!! So it's gone higher - the school is perfect and a 5 minute walk for him from his home. Hoping today we get a positive result.

They are looking into other options but many of private schools and the costs are hefty and out of our reach.

He is so settled with this host family who are just ideal - there was talk about moving him to another school but that would mean taking him to another family (who are NOT ideal) so Ive so no - not at all.

If nothing can be sorted out he will have to come back

OP posts:
SortCode · 26/08/2021 10:21

Also the contact made a call to the Government office who said absolutely he can transfer no restrictions from them at all

OP posts: