Different views on EVERYTHING!

[Dingdongdo87]

I have coparented with DD10's dad since she was 4 and have a 70/30 split.
Since we split his views on things we once agreed on have completely changed. This is largely due to the influence of his new DW.
He is completely anti-vax now, refused to wear a mask when needed, won't even do covid tests as he believes they're cancer causing. He's requested that DD does not have them either.
His viewpoints are now beginning to rub off on DD and I'm really not sure how to handle this.
When I've questioned his views in the past on things it's caused almighty rows and I've been on the receiving end of a lot of verbal abuse by both him and his DW.
I know DD10 should be free to make up her own mind on things but her DF is very vocal with his opinions on things which I personally think are bonkers. But I'm not naturally vocal in the same way and I'm terrified of DD being led down the same path as them.
How should I handle this?

A massive bump

Hello??

I would be helping her develop the tools for critical thought and scientific enquiry. Let her read from multiple sources, study the data for herself, and draw her own conclusions. Teach her tolerance of other people, even those we disagree with.

If ex tries to stop her having vaccines or other medical treatment though that's a matter for the court room not an issue your daughter should be party to.

I read your post when you first made the thread. Sorry I didn’t respond purely because I didn’t have any advice. My partner is quite strong willed and is very vocal and direct about things he would like our child to do going forward as they grow up.

I on the other hand am not as passionate about some of these things. I try and pick my battles about what’s worth fighting over. I know he means well and ultimately most of the things he says are for the child’s own good.

We just have very different family backgrounds and have been brought up differently which is now displayed clearly in our parenting when it comes to our child.

If you feel like your DD is unsafe or at risk of anything then don’t take a back seat.

Thank you both We had an issue last year with the flu vaccination. DD has asthma so has received the vaccination via school for the last few years. DF has always disagreed with it but last year went one step further and told the school he does not authorise it so DD couldn't have it. I spoke to the GP and they decided not to give it to her either due to one parent saying no. So I just feel like my hands are tied. It's very frustrating as I now just have to rely on good luck and hope she doesn't catch flu or suffer any complications due to having asthma

Tigers thank you for this. I'm nervous as to what sources and data I use for my research. I reply on mainstream media and news outlets which he criticises me for. But if you go elsewhere, how do you know what your reading is factual and reliable?

If my ex did that I would take him to court for a specific issue order because vaccination is really important to me (my ex is also an anti vaxxer) so that's what I meant about taking it to a court for some issues. The GP cannot give the vaccine without both parents consent unless they have a court order, so the GP cannot give the vaccine even if they want to.

As regards media, teaching your child to read critically is getting them to read and ask the same kind of questions you are. How do they know it's true? Can they check the references? Is it just the writers opinion or is it based in research that can be read? Also if sky news, BBC news, CNN and itv news all agree on something but Al Jazeera has a different story on the same issue then does that mean that Al Jazeera is wrong or that perhaps there is an agenda from the major UK and US outlets.

Teaching them to think critically is not stopping them from watching sensationalism on YouTube but to question what the content creator wants them to think, the purpose of the piece, etc. It's reading with an open mind, but always fact checking.

That's great tigers, really helpful - thank you! 😀

Personally I agree with him but regardless of what the disagreements are about it’s difficult for your daughter to be in the middle of two parents with such opposing views.

I do not know what you can do as you want to force your opinions on your daughter just as much as he wants to force is so you are both going to have to decide to sit down and talk about finding a compromise between you.

I know that in the same situation I would take legal advice to prevent my child from getting the jab so that’s something your husband may be prepared to do.

Thanks Gassalia. It's good to get different views. Do you mind if I ask what's made you come to your conclusions? Where do you do your research?

Sorry massive typo there - I mean gasallia!

My bloody keyboard - I mean Galassia!!