Gift for wedding vow renewal?

[RampantIvy]

Is it the done thing to give the couple a gift for a wedding vow renewal ceremony?

The back story is that one of them has recently had a very close and unpleasant brush with cancer, and is grateful to have come out the other side. As far as I know there has been no cheating or any other unpleasantness in the marriage. The family have had a tough couple of years and want to do something celebratory.

Hmm, vows don’t expire so a renewal would imply that one of them has been broken. If they purely wanted something celebratory they’d have a big party! I would probably get them a nice bottle of something.

No gifts beyond what you would take to a regular party your friends were hosting - bottle of wine, flowers, box of chocolates etc.

A party would’ve also worked. Vow renewal 🙄

I wouldn’t give a gift for a vow renewal however I’d also turn down the invitation, I just don’t get why anyone would have a vow renewal.

I'd take a bottle of prosecco or similar, no need for big gifts imo

I think its a lovely idea, I don't think it implies
expiry, broken vows etc, just a small ceremony to reaffirm the original vows after going through difficult times, it can be easy to overlook how much your spouse means to you when life gets tough. I agree with keeping gifts in line with a normal party, its different to starting out married life together.

however I’d also turn down the invitation, I just don’t get why anyone would have a vow renewal.

Under the circumstances that would be rather mean spirited of me. I wasn't able to make it to the original wedding because DD was in ICU.

Thank you to everyone who have come up with some ideas. I really don't think that any vows have been broken. I think it is more a service of thanksgiving, given the horrible things the family have been through recently.

We had a vow renewal. The first time around I had not a single person I knew at our wedding except for my parents. Then we had a child, he is disabled and I nearly died during childbirth and then got PND and PTSD and tried to take my own life.

We got through that and when we both had big birthdays decided to renew our vows as well to celebrate getting through it. I have heard many on MN sneer and say it is about one person cheating or breaking the vows, or just saying it is all a bit 'look at us' and unneccessary, but for us we did it for no other reaosn but we wanted to and to celebrate coming out the other side of tough times.

I don't recall any gifts except for maybe a nice bottle of something and that was more than fine.

I hope things have improved for you now @2RedShoes

Oh yes enormously. :) Thank you.

How is your DD now @RampantIvy ?

Oh, she's fine now thank you @2RedShoes. She had life saving surgery as a baby. She is 21 now.

Oh that is wonderful to hear. :)

Bottle of wine if anything. The vows do say "in sickness and in health" so no need to "renew" but if they feel the need to celebrate surviving cancer that's different.

A voucher for a fab restaurant. Maybe somewhere they haven't yet visited?

Thank you for the ideas everyone.

@2pinkginsplease

I wouldn’t give a gift for a vow renewal however I’d also turn down the invitation, I just don’t get why anyone would have a vow renewal.

Me too.

Vows are taken for life, they don’t expire. I personally associate vow renewal with infidelity.

I’d understand a general celebration party and would attend that but would steer clear of a vow renewal. Wouldn’t attend a fake wedding either where the couple are already married.