I've been bridesmaid 4 times and organised 4 hen do's. I absolutely hate it. I hate having to find ideas that please everyone, to get details and money off everyone, to have to tell people when they cancel that no the hotel isn't refundable etc etc. I love actually being AT the hen do's and always have fun but I swore some years ago I'm never doing it again.
Anyway my sister gets married in November, 2nd marriage so she's being very low key and only having children bridesmaids. She asked me to organise the hen do though as I don't think my 9yo is very capable 🤣 she knows my feelings on this so said "We will stay local, a meal and a show, no going away, not too much to organise" so I reluctantly agreed.
A couple of months ago she gave me a list of names and numbers, I formed a WhatsApp group and asked where people fancied eating. I made a suggestion for a new Mexican restaurant that has opened in the town.
Well Sarah doesn't like spicy food, Laura says her sister's sister in law went there and said the waiter was really rude, Lucy thinks £9.50 for a burrito is a bit expensive (!) and Danielle only likes pizza.
So I suggest an Italian - similar round of excuses.
A month later, we finally decide on a different Italian restaurant. A whole month!!
So I decided for the show, I'd just ask my sister what she wanted to see rather than putting a vote out. She wants to see a comedian who's performing at the local venue that night, only £26 per ticket. Result! A month ago I announced this (met by a couple of "Oh he's not my cup of tea but it Holly's night 🙄") and said if people could transfer me the money I'm gonna book it just before I go away on the 23rd August, so it gives people time to send the money. I kept half on eye on the tickets sales to make sure there was enough seats for 12 people together - there is. Just.
Sent a message yesterday to say "Gonna book this tomorrow anyone who hasn't sent the £26 [which is everyone except me and my sister] could they send it today or tomorrow please?"
3 people sent the money
2 people asked if they could pay on the night
3 people can't pay until next week
2 people can't pay until the 14th September!
At this point I'm about to explode with frustration - this is why I hate organising stuff. My sister rang me, she is really upset with her friends and is offering to pay the £182 for those who can't make pay up just yet. I told her no as if they don't come she's out £182 - which she can't afford either as she's paying a lot of wedding stuff off - that's the cost of the bridesmaid dresses and accessories! I thankfully convinced her not to do this.
Anyway I went out last night with my boyfriend, who convinced me I need to put my foot down and not try to make amends for flaky people...I may have been a bit tipsy and but very riled up by this to take action. I messaged the group saying that for the 7 who can't pay yet, they can book their tickets together at the time when they are able to and I'll just book 5 seats together for those of us who have paid. And that's what I did then and there.
It hasn't gone down well. And my sister - who is fine with what I've done but very anxious about what it means for the 7 flaky friends - is now wishing the hen do was a night in with booze and a takeaway.
I am never ever doing this again. It's supposed to be fun! Am I the only one who has experiences like this organising stuff?