Do you let your teenagers eat and drink in their rooms?

[Goodtimesx]

I don’t allow meals in there but they do occasionally have a packet of sweets or crisps. I find it disrespectful if they don’t bring the wrappers down or put them in the bin in their rooms. If I ask them or remind them, they hate it!

I am Trying to pick my battles as they are definitely moody teenagers and I don’t want the conflict plus it’s the summer holidays and in some ways it’s best to just leave them to it. But I can’t stand it! What’s the norm?

Well it's their room. I don't hassle mine too much....they're 16 and 13. They both have a waste paper bin and if they choose to leave their rooms a mess then that's their problem...to a point obviously.

They know not to leave food hanging about or we'll get mice. I don't worry too much personally. I will tell them to sort it out if the bins overflow in general.

I couldn't be bothered to 'hate it' if they left a packet on their own floor or bed now and then.

Main meals are in the kitchen for whoever's around. Drinks and snacks all seem to make their way upstairs! I don't get too worked up about it but might have a strop if anything gets e.g. spilt on the bed!

I think it is getting to me as normally on a school day I go in their rooms each morning and open the curtains etc and have a quick tidy up so it never gets too bad. But as they are spending so much time in their rooms the mess is accumulating.

Main meals all together in the kitchen but snacks, drinks etc are no problem as long as he brings the plates, glasses, cups etc back down as soon as possible afterwards.

It’s their room, they can do what they like as long as it’s kept clean. They bring their plates/cups down and put them in the dishwasher. They usually eat dinner with us but with everyone doing different things, breakfast and lunch are often eaten at different times so they do sometimes eat in their rooms.

Evening meals are eaten together but she often has other meals, snacks and drinks in her room.

She does need reminding to bring plates etc down but hasn't left things long enough to get disgusting. If she did, then I'd ban eating or drinking in her room.

Yes I let them eat in the rooms, I regard their room as their own private space so I don't go wandering in or tidying it up, that's their responsibility. If they want to have a messy bedroom, quite frankly that's their choice. Looking after their own space of their own free will is a skill they'll need when they move out so it makes sense to me to leave them to it.

I think snacks might make their way upstairs. But my teens make elaborate meals and generally eat them downstairs. We try to all eat as a family in the evenings.

dd3 is more likely to eat crisps in front of the tv.

I don't tidy their rooms now though, so it's up to them to keep them tidy. My ds who is 13 is banned from eating or drinking in his room because he just doesn't bring the glasses or bowls down. I found a whole pile of coke cans behind his bedroom chair. Mostly I just shut the door on the crap in their rooms and fight battles about the downstairs crap instead.

If anyone tried to stop me eating in my room, I would give them what for!

Yes, they bring down dishes and empty their bins.

I try not to and forbid it… they still manage to sneak it upstairs at times though 🤷‍♀️, I went a bit mad at them when I discovered our cat had brought in a mouse who I find happily munching through a box of cereal one of them had taken up to their room and abandoned 🙄

Mine are grown, but like others, main meals were eaten together at the table, but they could have snacks, etc. in their rooms. I was allowed to do that as a teen. I was lucky in that both of mine were fairly tidy, and although there was often clutter in their rooms, they were good about disposing of food, wrappers, etc. properly. Also once they were in high school, they were responsible for cleaning and tidying their rooms, with admittedly somewhat mixed results.

When dd was small, I used to regularly help her to tidy her room. Now I don't go in unless I'm invited.

She's 18 now but that's what I've done for the last few years. She's responsible for the room including deciding whether to keep it tidy and remembering to hoover, put clothes in the laundry basket and change the bed.

Most of the time it's awful and I just try not to look in there because it stresses me out. Then she'll have a massive tidying and cleaning session and - for an all too brief time - it's lovely again.

I let my teenagers eat in their rooms. If they let it get grotty, that's their own problem. My 11 year old will bring any plates down straightaway. My 13 year old will bring them down within a few hours, and my 17 year old will chuck hers outside her door, on to the landing, for me to pick up.

Nope. Not anymore.
Sick and tired of the mess being left. Or if went in bin. It was left to overflow. And too many drink spills

Bin has been removed. If he's caught with anything up there he will lose his console.
Weve just had to lift his carpet that stank due to spills etc.

I think it's a bit odd to try and stop them - I mean, surely they're home alone a fair amount of the time? So how do you police it?

I was allowed food in my room as a teenager - the only rules were that my bin had to be emptied regularly and all plates etc. had to be brought down each day and washed/put away.

It's a battle I frankly CBA with.

DS is in charge of bins so empties his bin once a fortnight. Either DH or I might pop in and collect dirty cups etc if the dishwasher is going on, but equally I would ask him to take a glass etc down if he was going.

When he was younger I would shout upstairs when dinner was ready and request he brought his dirty stuff down when he came. The fact the dishwasher would go on after dinner made it sound a lot less like nagging.

You shouldn't be 'having a quick tidy' for teenagers OP. It's vital that they learn to do this for themselves and that might mean it gets bad first.

If you keep doing that, then when they leave home, they'll be living in a pit and won't have the skills or habits to fix it.

I could never be bothered to make a thing of this. So now and then I’d find mugs with half an inch of mouldy cold tea in the bottom, cereal bowls with Ready Brek dried on like cement, apple cores, etc.
Their rooms were usually like bomb sites anyway.

But they were otherwise pleasant and easy, so I generally let it go. Much more important things to worry about.
They’re both long grown up now and we still all get on fine.

I can't imagine enforcing a rule of no food in bedrooms, why would you? Mine take snacks up all the time and have a bin in their rooms for crisp packets etc.

I do now and DS is great at bringing down all crockery and cutlery once finished but DD not so good at all in fact drives me potty but I can't be bothered to argue about it.

Drinks and snacks are fine.
Main meals, no way.
Don't want upstairs smelling of food, getting food stains on the carpet or potentially leaving dirty plates around.
But of course teenage ds tries his luck but I believe in eating meals together as much as possible.

Of course I let her eat in her room, how odd not to. And how’s it disrespectful? Did you use the wrong word? Just ask them to clean their own rooms. It’s their private space.

No way. My DD's were never allowed to eat food or snacks in their room. Drinks yes, of course, food no. Main meals are eaten in the kitchen, breakfast and lunch either in the kitchen, the sitting room, or the conservatory. They have both grown up to be exceptionally tidy, clean, people, maybe because I was so strict?

I never allowed food or drink to be consumed in cars either. Or on the move. Just so unnecessary. I am one of those people who dislikes others for eating and drinking smelly food on trains, or in the cinema. Just yuk.

My 8nyear old eats in her room.
Only snack stuff like crisps and sandwiches and an ice lolly etc. During lockdown the rules kind of went out of the window and to keep from getting under each others feet I let her do more than I otherwise would. Now I don't feel the need to stop.