It feels like no one likes me, not even my own child

[again2020]

Didn't know where to post, hope it's not the wrong place.
Had a bit of a miserable day.
I'm 36, in 9 year relationship, 1 DD.
I was walking round the shopping centre with my mother in law and DD when she started saying I was timid/shy and it launched into a character assassination saying I had never fit in with their family as I'm 'quiet and different'.
Got home and told my partner and he said I deserved it as I keep upsetting her and if I didn't she wouldn't say such things. It's a long story but she really doesn't like my parents at all and when my DD or I mention my parents she gets angry and defensive. My DM and her had many disagreements over my MH when DD was a baby. What brought the current ill feeling on is that my DM picked my DD up from nursery one day this week rather than MIL.
My daughter said tonight she prefers her Dad and said she doesn't care about mummy anymore she only likes daddy.
I guess it's just a cumulation of things but I feel like no one likes me and I can't do a thing right.
My parents do their own thing and my brother us a recovering addict with his own problems.
I feel I have no one to talk to. Can't confide in friends, no one seems to talk about feelings or have similar issues.
It seems I'm surrounded by toxic people so I'm the common denominator so it must be me..the way I am, my personality.
I've no confidence. People love putting others down don't they? Saying others are too quiet. What's wrong with that?
I love my job but I'm not very popular at work as everyone else is louder and constantly talk about themselves. I don't find it interesting telling others the nuances of my life like what I watched on tv last night...and I'm a bit socially awkward. Does this make me arrogant?
I don't know what I'm asking really. Confidence and self worth are scraping the floor so I'd appreciate some tips on how to feel better. Sometimes I get suicidal and I'm feeling it tonight.
I know I'm too sensitive and I do try to work on it.
Genuine post by the way.

I can relate so much to you OP. I like you already and I only know a few paragraphs.

I would to start with tell your husband that his mother was extremely rude and uncalled for and tell him exactly how this is effecting your mental health. I would cut her off, let him deal with her if he won't stick up for you.
Get rid of the idiots not supporting you, being quiet and timid is not a reason to assinate your Character a lot of people are like that we're just more introverted and there's nothing wrong with that.

@idontknowwhyibother Ah thank you, that means a lot to me to read, I like the sound of you too!
My MIL helps me a lot with childcare but yes she is very rude.
There's definitely nothing wrong with being introverted! It just seems rare these days, everyone is in a rush to talk about themselves and their achievements, I don't really understand this.

Hi. First of all your DD loves you very much, from experience they always say they love daddy more but go to the shops for a few hrs without them and they miss you like crazy. Your doing an amazing job keeping going, it will get better and easier. Screw MIL. Mine is a nightmare and now I make the things she says into a game and find myself secretly laughing at her.

Speak to your DP and make sure you tell him how you feel. You are meant to be a team.

You are you, celebrate it and don't feel the need to change to suit others. Don't let them bring you down.

By the way I think you sound like a lovely person, someone I would happily get along with x

@CanIUseYourLooPlease Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it.
I guess MILs can be difficult, it's part of the job description isn't it! It's bloody hard work having one that you can't please. I don't like it when she puts me down, I wish I could call her out on it but I feel like it would lead to more rows 🙄
She's a difficult person. I could definitely use humour to help cope with it.
I would like to build up my self esteem, I always feel like an oddball.. I guess maybe that's not uncommon

I am on odd ball. I have been told I am like marmite, you love me or hate me. It took time but you know what, that's ok, at least I came to know who I can and can't trust. You will get there.

As for MIL, unless risking the entire relationship, stick it out knowing full well you are the better person. Being pleasant and happy will get to her more than you reacting.

You got this. Be you, everything else will fall into place. My favourite saying and hasn't let me down yet. Karmas a bitch and she always catches those who need a reminder x

I am bumping this thread, because it is related to your thread about not being a bridesmaid.

OP, I seriously think you have a distorted picture of your IL's and your partner. You deserve better. Why keep these people in your life?

@again2020
You sound like my kind of person! Fortunately my DS married someone just like me...we get along great...we can sit with each other for hours and not have to say one word...YOUR future MIL is out there somewhere, OP , but you won't find her or her son, Mr Right, if you are with Mr.Wrong.

Hey OP, I feel for you. Would it be worth visiting your gp and starting some counselling? I think this might help you clarify what relationship you want with your partner and his family and build your confidence in tackling the situation. A side effect of being in toxic relationships for a long time is that you blame yourself for the toxicity. At the very least, please, please tell your gp you've had suicidal thoughts. You need support and you're not getting it. I think chatting to a counsellor would give you a better perspective on the situation. Did you mil talk to you like this in front of your daughter? Wishing you all the best op.

Im not so sure, you seem happy to 'put down' your more extroverted colleagues? I'm sure they are not constantly talking about themselves, possibly just trying to start conversation and make their day go a bit quicker having a laugh with colleagues, it does kind of involve talking about life otherwise unless they are discussing the origins of the universe or something equally vague what else would they talk about?
I hate this seemingly new phenomenon where we have to label ourselves introverted or extroverted, people are people. I am more socially outgoing somedays more than others depending on my mood and how tired I am for example. If you are genuinely quiet all of the time it will be harder for people to get to know you and bond with you, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't like you but you can't give nothing socially but still expect to receive it back if that makes sense. I love my job but I'm not very popular at work as everyone else is louder and constantly talk about themselves. I don't find it interesting telling others the nuances of my life like what I watched on tv last night What would you like to talk about? Would it kill you to pass ten minutes with your colleagues discussing a series you watched and are interested in....can you blame them for not showing any interest in you when you are very clearly looking down in their topics of conversation and interests?
I personally find people that are happy to label themselves introverted very hard work. It's almost a way of saying leave me alone, I am not interested in mixing with the rest of humanity. That's fine by me but I certainly then won't be going out of my way to involve them in conversation/work outings etc and if they then feel left out that is on them as they made their feelings clear.
Your MIL does sound rude (end of her tether trying to create a bond that won't happen and no idea what to do next?) And your daughter will love you from the bottom of her heart, even if the little monkey currently knows which buttons to press to get a reaction from you!
I am genuinely not trying to upset you or character assassinate you but I do think there is more than one perspective on this whole introvert/extroverte thing and neither group is better than the other and both are equally as good at looking down on traits they don't like.

Given that op has talked about having suicidal thoughts, discussing whether she should be friendlier at work seems besides the point.
OP, I'm not sure you'll find the support you need here. But reading this thread and your previous one, I think you really need support and care. I would also be hurt if I'd had the experiences you've had with your husband's family. Please talk to your gp and ask for help.

kids can be 'orrible take no notice of your daughter, they come out with some daft shit. teens are worse. autistic teens are worserstill.

your partner and mil are proper horrible and I would wonder whether they are worth ditching.