This probably shouldn't be in chat but I don't really want a heated debate or anything!
Can anyone talk to me about what they would do in this situation? I'm feeling very stuck at the moment. I won't elaborate - my post will be huge if I do - but I did ask for advice a few years ago, which I followed as much as I could. This is where I'm at now.
DS (now 21) very influenced by his father, probably parental alienation but that's hindsight, so not a lot I can do after all this time. Ds did the a levels his father suggested and ended up with 2 D's. His F suggested he went to college to do a further a level. Another D. College said he could do a foundation year but DS didn't want that. I'm not sure why.
I wasn't too concerned at this point due to his age. So he got a job. He has hardly missed a day - better work ethic than me! He worked all through the pandemic and I'm quite proud of him as it's a very physical job.
DS now wants to do a foundation degree. I'm trying to encourage him but his father is telling him that a foundation degree is the wrong way as he will be in debt with no guarantee that Uni will have him for the 3 years after. I don't know how true this is. (Bearing in mind that this information is coming from a man who has 2 degrees in different subjects.)
I feel that he doesn't want DS to move on. He seems to be discouraging him at every turn. What should be a wonderful opportunity for DS is being made to sound like a pointless task and I think father just wants to keep son close to him.
DS doesn't talk much about it and has been offered a place. I have tried to help him by saying he can talk to a friend of ours whose four children have been to Uni - me and Dad are not that up to date with information these days etc. (I've never been.)
WWYD in this situation? Just let them get on with it and if he listens to his father, then so be it or something else?
(Probably should have mentioned that father and I don't live together. My DM would help him if needed and DS has enough money (grandparent savings) for this to be viable).
Thanks and sorry for being so long winded!