Am I going to regret hosting a house party for my teen sister? (With our parents permission)

[teenmumandsowhat]

As not to drip feed. My sister is 8yrs younger than me, and not 18 until next year. I’ve struggled with my health the last few years, and had major brain surgery at the start of this year. As a result of my health my two dc currently live with my parents, and whilst I’ve improved massively health wise, I’m not well enough to look after them by myself.

Because of all this my sister isn’t really able to have friends over etc at their house. My sister recently begged me to let her host a houseparty at mine since I currently live by myself, surprisingly our parents are very much for the idea as they know I won’t let it get out of hand, and whilst i have agreed to let them drink alcohol, it will only be what i provide, and at least she will be somewhere safe & I will be keeping an eye on them. Soo party is this weekend. How much will I regret it??!

Well, I’d prepare for the worst.

Hide anything you don’t want breaking, or getting covered in vomit.

Presume people will sneak in their own alcohol, unless you’re doing bag checks and the like, they will certainly try!

Keep a handle on who knows about it and how many people come in, and where they are.

Remember that they will be a bunch of 17/18 year olds who like to drink but probably haven’t reliably found their limits yet…

Maybe warn the neighbours, if that’s the done thing where you are, and have an idea of when it’s finishing…

It could go absolutely fine and be lovely, but I’d be preparing for the worst!

Have lots of cleaning things for the next day.

I’m sure it’ll be memorable for your sister, it’s a nice thing to do for her.

Whilst I’m sure this is a sweet idea...

I have a bad feeling about it

Will you be monitoring drinking also?

I’m just think back when I was a teenager - I didn’t drink often at all so even if I had a glass of two of lambrini - it was enough to get me drunk.

Lovely idea.

But... just no.

I think it's a wonderful thing to do for your sister.

Presumably there is a limit on numbers. Have you discussed who exactly she’s inviting?

Obviously you can’t guarantee word of mouth spreading the party info but she’d not expecting a free for all is she?

Be absolutely clear that no more than the agreed number can come in, you will be ruthless about it and music will be off at 11pm.

After that, clear stuff off the sides downstairs and buy loads of plastic cups, no using if the glasses.

I don’t think it will be too bad, just not your favourite night of the week

It'll probably be tamer than everyone here is imagining...

I’ve stated no more than 10 people,
I will be checking bags for alcohol/ other substances and if I think it’s getting out of hand everyone excluding my sister will be thrown out,
I’ve also made it clear that i will be having my daily carer at the normal time the next morning, regardless of how little sleep people may get if they stop over.

Oh, with your update I wouldn’t be worried at all. If not more than ten people, it doesn’t even really count as a party, more a gathering.
It’ll be fine, be aware of what’s going on and try to tuck away any breakables/valuables before they get there.
Best of luck, with this, and with your health

I had 16 teens last week for son's 18th. Try and get them outside as much as you can if the weather is okay. We have a seated garden area so they only come in for the downstairs loo through the front door.

Provide food for soaking up any alcohol - pizzas, crisps etc. Plastic plates, plastic cups, rubbish bag
They will sneak in booze - just listen for the clink in their rucksacks.
Lock away all valuables
Make sure they know the boundaries of where they are allowed to go
Make sure they know no one else is invited.
Provide some games - cards against humanity sort of thing
Get her to arrange a playlist - play on Alexa

It will be fine.

I think checking their bags at 17 is a bit heavy handed personally. Do they drink much? Are they respectful? 10 is a small gathering they will just sit and chat. Relax.

I agree to the not checking bags. That would be considered extremely uncool.

Please don't check the bags she will not live that down!!

Get the names of the ten and answer the door yourself!

My only concern with this would be if you are physically well enough to step in if there is any sign of trouble. Sounds like you've been through hell and you don't want anything setting you backwards.

I dont see the big deal if youre going to be there.

Ok so it’s a no to checking bags?

I live in an apartment (ground floor) so can’t send them outside unfortunately.
Have ordered snacks & nibbles etc for them to help soak up the alcohol.

How will you feel with music blaring out all night? Do any of them smoke? If so they will be outside possibly making nose for the other people in your block? Remember what you were like at that age?

We also have a cut off time of 1100 - So as not to annoy the neighbours. Usually start at 6pm and finish at 11pm. And also they must have arranged a pick up/lift home - you are not responsible to take home a pissed up teenager at kicking out time.

Not that they will be "pissed up" - but just in case!!

Be a bit 'present' and friendly at the meeting and greeting stage so they know that you are around and to respect your home. Hope they have fun its really nice that you are helping her.