WWYD about restaurant meal that you are certain isn't vegan but staff insist is?

[DelicateFuckingFlower]

Went out for a meal last night to celebrate DD's A level results. She's been vegan for 6 years (by choice, I'm just veggie) and is a very relaxed vegan. By which I mean, she doesn't worry about "may contain traces of milk" labelling, she doesn't mind things being cooked in the same oven or even the same tray so long as they're not actually touching her food. She has twice that I can remember been served non vegan options by accident and neither time did she complain - once a cup of takeaway coffee which she just binned when she realised, and once a spring roll with prawns in which she just handed to DP . She is not one to make a fuss, in other words!

Anyway we chose a new place in town (an independent cocktail and food venue, not part of a chain) which had decent vegan options and she ordered loaded nachos. When they arrived she instantly said they smelled like dairy cheese, and the staff assured her they were made with vegan cheese. She tasted a couple, still felt it was dairy cheese, and asked me what I thought. I looked and tasted one and agreed with her - there is no vegan cheese on the market that convincing, and we have tried most of what's out there She asked again if they could confirm it was vegan cheese and the staff were quite patronising and said of course it was and showed her a packet. It was a brand we use at home frequently, and the cheese on her nachos was absolutely definitely not that brand! It was the waiting staff and then the manager we spoke to, not the actual kitchen staff - they just went into the kitchen to ask them for us.

So anyway DD left them, and ate her side salad, and asked me not to make a big deal out of it because she's quite shy.

When I got the bill I went to the till and told them we were not happy but they couldn't have been less interested. I paid for the nachos to avoid a scene but WWYD in this situation? I'm really pissed off but short of being actually arsey with them, there was nothing to be done. They insisted it was vegan cheese, we are about 99.9% sure it wasn't (and it 100% wasn't the brand they said it was!). Obviously to us it's just annoying, but to someone with allergies it's potentially dangerous.

I would complain. Some people order these items due to allergies not just dietary choice.

I'd probably leave a review saying that I doubted it was vegan cheese and when questioned they weren't at all helpful.

I wouldn’t have paid for them.

If you have used that brand of cheese in exactly the same way and we’re 100% sure then you could have said you are taking one away with you to test/compare.

I’m a vegetarian and would know the difference.

I wouldn't have paid either. There's no confusing vegan cheese with the real thing.

It was complicated by the fact the place is owned by the parents of someone DD knows, so it was really awkward for her and she really didn't want me to make a fuss there and then. For various reasons it was a big deal for her to go out to celebrate.

I would mention it via the people you know. I choose vegan options due to a dairy allergy, if they are lying about it there could be really serious consequences.

It is really difficult sometimes. I can't believe how lax some restaurants are despite previous local incidents including a death.

I have two friends with severe dairy allergies, one of whom also has an allergy to the allium family (and other allergies, although not relevant here).

We check and double check. On booking, when we arrive, when we order and when the food arrives. We explain this is not a preference or even a mild intolerance but it could have serious repercussions.

Still, meals arrive for the non-allium eater with chopped chives scattered on top, andsandwiches with pesto ('I'm sure it doesn't contain garlic') - oh yes it does, as it says on he jar...). Rice (in a previously 'safe' Chinese restaurant) turned out to have butter melted through it, real cream drizzled over the vegan cake in place of the ice-cream we had asked not to have. It is rare not to have to send something back.

Tricky one - you could have argued this till the cows came home and sounds like they’d still have said it’s vegan. Probably easier to pay and never go back again.

The problem here is that you say you are certain but it is impossible for you to be certain. It's your instinct against their 'proof' in the form of the packet. I'd say there's nothing at all you can do, other than avoid them if you don't trust them.

It sounds like what happened was the kitchen staff accidentally used regular cheese in the meant-to-be-vegan fries, so when the manager went into the kitchen they got the vegan cheese packet that the vegan fries are usually loaded with.

I would have said “A mistake has clearly been made by your kitchen staff. That cheese is not the cheese on these fries. The fact that you have that vegan cheese on the premises is not proof you have used it on these fries. As it clearly not the same fries I would like [insert refund or loaded fries made with that vegan cheese].”

I would have told them exactly how serious this mistake could be if your DD had been allergic and that they need to accept mistakes, apologise and talk to their staff to make sure this doesn’t happen again.