Writing a Will is like pretending to win the lottery!

[tinselvestsparklepants]

I have to write a will and I'm deciding who to leave things to. We couldn't have children and I only have one sibling (who is quite well off) so I basically get to play fairy godmother! If I get hit by a truck I'm leaving it all to DH but if he gets hit by the same one I'm thinking of splitting my estate between 2 charities (one to pay for care leavers' education and an international aid charity) and then giving £10k each to my close friends' children. Anyone doing anything more exotic? What's the best thing I can do with it? I'll have half the proceeds of a nice house and I want to do something meaningful. I'm particularly interested in education and young people without a bank of mum and dad.

Leave it in trust for a housing association to subsidise one or two homes in areas where young people are being priced out, eg South Hams, Cornwall or North Norfolk.

I think your plan is lovely op.

I remember Clare Rayner saying how much she enjoyed writing her will, as it was like giving friends and family lovely presents (but without having to wrap them up or give them away yet). She said she loved choosing what to give people.

My friends Aunt left half her money to friend the other half to various charities.
From the day they were told about the will the charities continually harassed my friend, who was executor, for their money.
No sympathy for her Aunt's death. Explanations of probate and selling the house were ignored.

I would choose carefully in your position.
I'm leaving my money to family with advice to give some to charity.
I can't enforce it but I don't want them hounded.

Oh I didn't know that some charities hound! Good to know. I'll do some checking. But my chosen charities are small, so I hope will be less aggressive...

My DF has written in his will that if any named charities hound for money they get zilch. Don't know whether it is enforceable or whether solicitor just didn't want to argue.

From what I've read, if you specify a percentage rather than a fixed sum, some charities can get quite aggressive about realising the maximum amount for the estate. I'm leaving a list of charities for my executors to distribute according to how much money is left. Plus, of course, a list of individual items to specific people!

As a sort of side note, I got very into family trees during lockdown, and it was always the wills of the childless or unmarried relatives that were the most interesting/useful, as rather than just leaving everything to 'my two sons' they were really detailed about who got what, and sometimes why. I rediscovered the significance of several otherwise anonymous family objects thanks to one will, and learned that one bachelor relative had basically paid for half the local hospital on his death.

That's interesting about charities hassling and getting aggressive. I've left small percentages to some charities and assumed they would just get sent their percentage once probate granted, property sold and everything else was being distributed, and that until it was sent to them they'd have no idea they had been left it. Is that not the case? Is there some obligation for the executor to tell the charities what they've been left earlier than the point when they are distributing the money?

Someone once mentioned here that a charity her friend left her estate to even tried to argue that her embalming costs should not come out of the estate!

Two huge charities that begin with the letter "R" are notorious for this behaviour.

@RichardMarxisinnocent

That's interesting about charities hassling and getting aggressive. I've left small percentages to some charities and assumed they would just get sent their percentage once probate granted, property sold and everything else was being distributed, and that until it was sent to them they'd have no idea they had been left it. Is that not the case? Is there some obligation for the executor to tell the charities what they've been left earlier than the point when they are distributing the money?

My father recently received a small percentage of my aunt's estate. As soon as The Will was read the charities involved were told, as well as my father. The solicitor dealt with everything, so my elderly father wasn't harassed, but he was under the impression some of the charities (one or two large ones) were in frequent contact with the solicitor!

It's honestly better to leave a fixed sum to a charity, they can get very pissy about things like valuations.

But at the very least inform the executors to not inform the charities of their bequest until everything has been sorted and the money is ready to be transferred over.

@Greystray

Someone once mentioned here that a charity her friend left her estate to even tried to argue that her embalming costs should not come out of the estate!

Two huge charities that begin with the letter "R" are notorious for this behaviour.

Birdies and animals, eh?

Birdies and animals, eh?

Animals and... the English flag.

My father recently received a small percentage of my aunt's estate. As soon as The Will was read the charities involved were told, as well as my father. The solicitor dealt with everything, so my elderly father wasn't harassed, but he was under the impression some of the charities (one or two large ones) were in frequent contact with the solicitor!
Glad the solicitor was the one getting the harassment and not your father! My executor is either a friend or a solicitor, depending on whether my friend outlives me. I can't imagine my friend deciding to phone the charities as soon as she has seen my will to tell them I've left them something, but guess I could warn her not to just in case. I guess maybe a solicitor may be more likely to tell charities but then they'd receive the harassment.

This is all fascinating. Thanks for the tips! I'm choosing charities that aren't involved with animals or flags (cough) so hopefully I'll be safe! But I may we'll make my solicitor my executor. Thanks to the PP who said that the wills of the childless can be interesting. It is yet another sadness of being childless of course that I can't leave it to my kids, but it does mean that every so often I get to think about who and what I love and should benefit if I'm struck down in a freak storm or whatever

Yea I’d never leave a percentage to charity. You could make a massive difference to your friends and family. One of my granny’s friends left her money to buy a new car- something she’d have struggled to do otherwise. A few thousand made such a difference. Care leavers sounds great. Young carers might be another option you could think about. There are a number of organisations who run respite breaks and a small amount of money can make a massive difference. I used to volunteer and we ran the breaks on a shoestring but they had such a positive impact. You could maybe think about donating to your local primary.

Ours were pretty straightforward, DD gets everything but it will be managed for her by the solicitor. She’s pretty impulsive and we had visions of her buying a helicopter or something if she got it all at once.
I have stipulated £5k to a specific dog breed rescue.
DH doesn’t have any particular wishes

I agree with all that has been said about the need for care when leaving a legacy to charity. A charity has an obligation to maximise its income and won’t care about the sentimental feelings and grief of your executor. This applies whether the charity is large or small - and often collecting legacies can be outsourced by charities so the executor ends up with horrid harassment and pressure.

If it’s a fixed legacy (£1000 to the Cats’ Home), then the only thing they can harass is on timeframes which isnt intolerable. But if its “10% of my estate” or “everything that is left after my nieces each get £1000”, then there is a massive incentive for the charity to seek to maximise the size of the estate. Imagine being hounded to put your beloved aunt’s house on the market immediately etc. They can and will go to court if they think you’ve accepted too low an offer. It can be stressful and viscous.

So if you do go down the laudable route of supporting charity after you die, I’d think very carefully about how you word it. I’d also consider ensuring you appoint a professional such as a solicitor as executor so they can deal with the hassle, rather than one of the beneficiaries as is often the case.

But that’s not what you asked at all, is it!

You could also take the risk of leaving your estate to individuals with a request that they voluntarily make a bequest to your chosen charity. That does rely on their goodwill and May have tax implications so think carefully about that too.

I'm leaving a bit to a selected charity but the rest will go to DH and DS.

I used to work closely with charities through my job and it involved organising and paying money raised, money from grants etc. Most were very patient and grateful for the donations but one in particular was horrible to work with, we kept them updated with what we were doing to raise money and they would always be on my case about when they would receive it and even moaned about the amount on occasion, saying a lot of companies matched donations etc.

We chose to do our Christmas raffle for a local food bank instead and they were not best pleased.

I agree with all that has been said about the need for care when leaving a legacy to charity. A charity has an obligation to maximise its income and won’t care about the sentimental feelings and grief of your executor. This applies whether the charity is large or small - and often collecting legacies can be outsourced by charities so the executor ends up with horrid harassment and pressure.

But unless the executor tells the charity as soon as they see the info in the will, how does the charity even know about the legacy until it is sent to them? Do executors generally tell charities about legacies as soon they have checked the will? Surely most people don't and thus don't get harassed?

People are often encouraged to inform charities that they have mentioned them in their will. I wonder whether that means the charity is somehow able to 'track' the person and find out when they have died??

Yes I’ve heard horror stories about charities half say 50% of an estate but then arguing every penny of funeral or other selling costs. Best to leave a fixed sum presuming no major housing crash and friend then be left nothing.

RichardMarxisinnocent I believe some charities check wills once they are available online. I’ve seen others send out mail shots about leaving them legacies so I suspect they have quite a good idea of some of the larger legacies before the are contacted by executors .

DF had a great aunt who left most of her estate to 2 charities - one large one that researches into Cancer and another that deals with a different medical complaint. He was not the executor but undertook to clear the house so that the estate wasn't paying solicitors' fees for that. It took him ages (as she was a hoarder and he didn't live in the same town). He was constantly bombarded by the bigger of the 2 charities asking why he wasn't clearing the house faster and wanting updates on what happened to everything from the house. Eventually the executor solicitor sent them a letter saying that their behaviour was so bad that he would recommend DF sued them for harrassment or walked away from the house and left them to sort it out. DF has said that he won't leave a penny to that charity and no longer gives to them annually as he did as they made a difficult time an absolute nightmare. It was especially galling as it was a charity he'd supported for years and he only offered to clear the house to save them the cost of paying the solicitor to do it.