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Original poster

Do you regret getting your dc a games console?

26 replies

Fedinbed · 17/08/2021 20:35

Ds is 9. So far his only gaming experience at home been an ancient wii and slightly less ancient x box. Neither has ever really worked properly and he hasn’t been that bothered.

He has played on his friend’s newer x box a couple of times and loved it and I’m wondering if it’s time to get him one of his own for Christmas or birthday early next year.

He’s never outright asked for one but I’m sure he’d like one and think he’s probably one of the few boys (or girls) in his class without a console and i know that that’s how they communicate with each other at this age and going forwards.

I don’t want him to be an outcast or left out of things but equally if he’s not desperate for one then should we avoid it?

OP posts:
stripedbananas · 17/08/2021 20:42

I always wish I'd bought one sooner as I didnt realise how much the boys interact and socialise on them outside of school at home.

You might as well buy one sooner rather than later but do check to see if his friends are PS or Xbox as they can only play on the same platform so thats very important.

Original poster
Fedinbed · 17/08/2021 20:53

I will investigate which one they have. I think it’s mostly x boxes.
Completely alien world to me.
DH suggested a switch as he likes Mario but I don’t think they can chat on them the same can they?

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 17/08/2021 20:56

Interesting question. I know someone seriously messed up due to gaming so ive been very wary. I realise alcohol etc can do similar. I do think 9 is perhaps a fair enough age to allow a bit of it though.

autumnkate · 17/08/2021 20:58

I’m a secondary school teacher and I was thinking about getting my 9 year old
son a console for Christmas last year. I asked some of my year 9 boys (so 13 ish) and several of them told me not to buy a console as they suck all their time and you get obsessed. I was really surprised by their comments tbh.

seriouslymole · 17/08/2021 21:00

I wouldn’t if he’s not desperate for one. There is definitely time.

We got DS one when he was 12 and it does become quite addictive. He’s only allowed his as at the weekend though.

SylvanianFrenemies · 17/08/2021 21:02

My 10 year old has a switch. I prefer the range of games for her age and feel it is generally straightforward to ensure interactions are with known people only. She has an online membership and plays various games with friends and classmates. They can type in the chat. They will also do a WhatsApp group call to talk to each other while playing (she borrows my phone for this).

TheChosenTwo · 17/08/2021 21:05

Ds is 9 and has a switch, he can play games on it and talk to his friends through a headset but he has broken several of them (I have no idea how!) and I’m not buying anymore. He doesn’t use it much now.
It lives in the front room, I wouldn’t let him have it in his bedroom at his age.
Dd2(15) has a PS4 and has to leave the controllers in my room overnight - she’s probably used it twice in the last 8 months and before that only a little more frequently.
None of mine are really ‘gamers’ but ds will use his more when his friends come round.
I’d buy one for him for Christmas maybe.

thebear1 · 17/08/2021 21:07

Ds is 13 and getting an xbox really helped him to form friendships which he had struggled with. But I do have a love hate relationship with it. Arguments about which games and how long he can go on for persist.

Original poster
Fedinbed · 17/08/2021 21:10

Interesting comments.
Obviously no one needs a console but is it a bit like not having a tv back in the 80s/90s when pretty much everyone had one?

OP posts:
ILiveInSalemsLot · 17/08/2021 21:10

I don’t regret getting one but I did have strict rules. I also know kids who have messed up their lives being addicted to gaming so I’ve been wary from the beginning and told them it was only for weekends and holidays. They’re used to that and even as teenagers, wouldn’t even think of switching it on on a school night.

QueenHofScotland · 17/08/2021 21:11

No I don’t regret it - but we put in really clear boundaries and rules about the time on it.

I also have girls and I don’t think gaming is such a big thing for them.

Invisimamma · 17/08/2021 21:30

I'd get him one, he's missing out on that connection with peers and will be left out. They really do a lot of socialising and interacting on there.

My 10 and 6 yr olds both have ps4.

What are your concerns? The parental controls are very good and you can adjust most things to settings you're comfortable with.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 17/08/2021 22:02

@Fedinbed

I will investigate which one they have. I think it’s mostly x boxes. Completely alien world to me. DH suggested a switch as he likes Mario but I don’t think they can chat on them the same can they?
Yes they can talk to their friends via the switch. But if he's not really wanted one, I wouldn't. My DS is 9 and got a switch in Dec 19. He plays fortnite and talks to friends on it and would spend all evening and weekend if we didn't restrict access. Luckily he plays academy level football up to 6 days a week so it's easier to think he forbids hours playing sport. But his academics do suffer in my view eg he rarely picks up a book.
Original poster
Fedinbed · 17/08/2021 22:12

@Invisimamma no massive concerns really-just don’t want it taking over and replacing time he currently spends playing (he still likes toys) or sports or his schoolwork.
He does get a fair amount of screen time watching tv or playing on my phone so it’s not the screen time-more the addictive nature of it and the expense of games and accessories

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 17/08/2021 22:14

@Fedinbed

Interesting comments. Obviously no one needs a console but is it a bit like not having a tv back in the 80s/90s when pretty much everyone had one?
I hadn't thought of it like that.
sunshineandshowers40 · 17/08/2021 22:21

Yes and no. I have a love hate relationship with the PS4 and Xbox.

It really depends on the child and their personality but it does help them keep in touch with friends so can be very sociable (when they aren't arguing).

stripedbananas · 17/08/2021 22:27

If he's happy and is busy with family and friends stuff then he probably doesn't need or particularly want a console.

It's dependent on a lot of things really like family life, do friends live near or far, does he have lots of after school and weekend activities etc etc.

Original poster
Fedinbed · 17/08/2021 22:31

He is generally happy and busy but doesn’t have any close male friends in his class. I don’t know if that’s got anything to do with consoles or whether he just hasn’t quite found his tribe yet. He plays with them all but tends to be closer to the girls.

OP posts:
Ridiculousradish · 17/08/2021 22:35

Yes and no. My nearly 12 year old has had a Switch for about 8 months, and it has been good and bad. He's been able to speak to friends, which made the second lockdown a hell of a lot better for him (especially as he's an only child). Has definitely made him feel more connected to his friends. Bad points are just that it's all he wants to do most days.

Wheretoeattweenandteen · 17/08/2021 22:53

No! I had a worries but it's been a life saver particularly over covid, one dd was always chatting to friends over lock down, she had a fantastic time Grin.

Also through dark rainy freezing winter..

Wheretoeattweenandteen · 17/08/2021 22:54

9 is young but hopefully by this point the child will be aware of other activities

DelurkingAJ · 17/08/2021 23:00

DSs (5 and 8) play with DH on DH’s Switch. Fantastic family bonding in a safe fashion. DH has said that when DS1 asks he will set up a restricted network with his friends, so I’m comfortable that we can control it. We went out all morning today and then after lunch the three of them games for a couple of hours as it’s been miserable weather here this afternoon. In term time they’re limited to 30 minutes a day and both are bookworms and do sports so I’m happy we have a balance.

Rockbird · 17/08/2021 23:00

My girls have only ever had an elderly Wii but dd2 (9) has now asked for a Switch since she played at a friend's house. Quite frankly if it gets her off Roblox then it's a win!

Auntienumber8 · 18/08/2021 01:01

Never let them have them in their bedroom
Set up proper parental controls
Never leave your credit card details on any console
Buy an Xbox, their better :) I do have both consoles, seriously check what his friends have
Currently the newest Xbox is hard to buy and is just over £500 but you can get a decent trade in at GAME with a warranty of the old style x box.

Set boundaries but understand what an online game is. Some are timed so it really is x amount of minutes for an activity or match, some are forever and can be paused and saved like minecraft and some like Fortnite depend on how long you can survive and then some like the raids I play in an MMO depend on your own and your teammates skill levels.

Plus do not let your child under any circumstances go in to a public voice chat lobby on any game at that age. My favourite was being called a British whore by some American teenager when I won a match against him. I do just love saying you got beaten by someone old enough to be your Mum in response.

Both myself and DH love gaming both video and board games as does DS. Both DH and I are educated to postgraduate level but gaming addiction is a real issue so be aware.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 18/08/2021 01:10

The xbox was a godsend in lockdown for ds. He has so much social contact on it.