How to approach situation with this guy (when I don't know he is single)?

[Maria53]

Can't give specific details as could be outing

I met a guy as part of a group before the pandemic. We would often end up chatting together just the 2 of us & I had a strong sense that the feeling was mutual. But - he never asked me out. Finally I asked him to come as my +1 to an event, he said yes but that was cancelled as it was the same week as lockdown 1.

We kept in touch over the last year but he never asked me out when things were lifted. We've seen each other more lately through our larger group - the connection is still there, he make strong eye contact & stays close to me. I do feel strongly about him, similarly to how I felt about long term ex boyfriend.

So I asked him to come to a meal and drinks this weekend with friends and he accepted (I haven't told any of these friends how I feel fyi).

But what is giving me pause - I don't know his relationship status. A couple of months ago I noticed a new woman commenting on his social media & I had a feeling there was something there. He mentioned her in passing recently not as a girlfriend or friend but as 'someone I know has a bla bla.'

So I reckon either:

1. he is dating this person
2. he is possibly interested in both of us at this stage

How would you approach this if you were me interested on dating him?

There could also be a third option and I could be off base!

Please delete this mumsnet, it was a stupid place to post. Have posted in relationships. I didn't know how to ask for it to be moved.

Would you want to stay friends if it wasn't going anywhere romantically? If it's all about the potential relationship then I'd say just put your cards on the table - start by asking him if he's dating/interested in the woman he mentioned before as you got a vibe that he might have been, and then go from there based on his reply.

That said, it does sound a bit like you're having to do all the chasing. You've invited him to two events - anything from him in return? That would put me off as it suggests he's only half interested and it's such a confidence knock going after someone who's not that fussed either way.

Oops didn't see your last message. Just report your own post and ask MN if they can delete.

Before I do that @LanisHouseLot I just wanted to say that I do see what you mean, I don't want to always be chasing. I suppose I am often the event and party planner among friends so I'm kind of like this! Not always great for dating.

The thing he is quite a shy guy whereas I'm more of a social butterfly I suppose. I think he might not expect me to be interested in him necessarily!

I think I'd need to consider him about her. But you are right. I do also need to make sure I'm not giving too much and not getting anything back.