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Original poster

DH says I 'can't' buy these school shoes for a girl!

249 replies

dontyouworrydontyouworrynow · 17/08/2021 17:53

Opinions please!

Are these shoes ok for a 5 year old girl (going into Y1) for school?.

They come up listed in the girls section on Clarks. My thinking is they look tidy, practical and not likely to cause wet feet when it inevitably rains this autumn. DD insists on pinafores and tights so this is more of a pain to change than socks if she gets wet feet at school (and she won't tolerate wet feet, she has diagnosed ASD with sensory issues).

DH says they are boys shoes and I can't buy them it's mean. I think they're unisex and anyway they're five years old so surely practicality wins out!

I've looked at all the girly shoes but they're nearly all very low at the front or gappy!

Anyway... thoughts? Am I condemning her to being teased?

DH says I 'can't' buy these school shoes for a girl!
DH says I 'can't' buy these school shoes for a girl!
OP posts:
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7
Silversun83 · 17/08/2021 18:54

@dontyouworrydontyouworrynow

I usually get DD's feet measured at Clarks and we've never had any issues with Startrite being drastically different size-wise.

They are slightly wider but I find Startrite actually fit DD a bit better as she has a G fit. So would say if she's borderline on width to perhaps go with the narrower fitting.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 17/08/2021 18:55

As a child, I’d have hated them and would have thought my parents were cruel for making me wear them. DD wouldn’t wear them now either. We buy her shoes from Clarks and ask them to bring out anything in her size and she chooses what she likes from the ones that fit. She usually chooses ones with a charm on them or glitter on the inside. It’s what she likes.

Silversun83 · 17/08/2021 18:57

@ILoveAllRainbowsx

They are great shoe for a girl.

The Startrite ones that the pp linked have got a very bad review probably because they are so narrow.

I don't know why girls shoes have to be narrow. It isn't good for growing feet.

They literally have one review which says they hurt the child's feet, but DD has found them fine.

Startrite actually come up quite wide which is good for DD as she is a G fit.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

5 year olds Clothing General education Primary education
Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo · 17/08/2021 18:58

They look good to me and many of the girls I’ve taught wouldn’t be concerned with them not looking girly enough. School shoes should be comfortable and not let your feet get wet from walking through a shallow puddle.

nevernotstruggling · 17/08/2021 18:58

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

As a child, I’d have hated them and would have thought my parents were cruel for making me wear them. DD wouldn’t wear them now either. We buy her shoes from Clarks and ask them to bring out anything in her size and she chooses what she likes from the ones that fit. She usually chooses ones with a charm on them or glitter on the inside. It’s what she likes.
This is exactly what we do.
CatbellsQueen · 17/08/2021 19:04

@peanutsandchilli, I wish more primary schools were doing that. At primary school there is absolutely no need for "formal" shoes and girls in particular tend to miss out as so many of them (or their parents) feel that they have to comply with whatever Clarks etc say is a "girls" shoe.

Our primary let children wear trainers throughout lockdown and it was so much more sensible... my son has just left and so isn't relevant but I was really disappointed to see they are going back to proper school shoes.

SunshineCake · 17/08/2021 19:04

They are perfect. It pissed me off no end that after a certain size dd had to wear the over the foot buckled shoes. She had problems with her feet so not just a case of wearing ones by law on pain of death labelled for boys. Hmm. They only made them up to a certain size snd they were great.

Divebar2021 · 17/08/2021 19:04

Our school sadly doesn’t allow ankle boots which would be the best option I think. I don’t think reception children care about what other kids wear although they may do as they get older. ( if they’re that way inclined). Girls shoes are an absolute travesty though - particularly brands like Lelli Kelli which are absolute shit. We tried Start Rite and Clark’s but found Dr Martens Mary Jane style with the buckle the most durable.

UnGoogled · 17/08/2021 19:06

Teased? No.

My dd wears practical school shoes rather than flimsy slip ons with straps over the top of the foot. She said a classmate asked her why she was wearing "boy" shoes and she said they were girl shoes, because she's a girl and they are hers. End of discussion.

I think they look really good.

Lorw · 17/08/2021 19:06

What about a nice pair of ankle boots OP? Clarks do have a few nice pairs that are practical but girly 😁

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 17/08/2021 19:07

I think they are fine and im sure my 3yr old daughter will chose something similar next year when she starts school. My 4yr old daughter due to start in september would never wear them though as she is the girliest person ive ever met despite having me as a mother Confused and would definitely declare them too boyish Hmm

Kitkat151 · 17/08/2021 19:11

@Tittyfilarious81

Does your daughter like them though at that age it's important that she's happy with them
This is what matters most I would say.....there’s no way my grandaughter would wear them ( she’s also going into year 1) ...li just showed them to her! .... but if your daughter likes them that’s fine
SemiFeralDalek · 17/08/2021 19:12

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

As a child, I’d have hated them and would have thought my parents were cruel for making me wear them. DD wouldn’t wear them now either. We buy her shoes from Clarks and ask them to bring out anything in her size and she chooses what she likes from the ones that fit. She usually chooses ones with a charm on them or glitter on the inside. It’s what she likes.
Exactly this. I always had to have sensible tbar shoes with no jazz because practical, all the girls in my class has the ones with the jewel in the heel (Clarks magic key, I'm aging myself here!) and I remember being gutted.

As a result of clearly being scarred for life by this, I've just spent £56 on the light up PlayStation ones for a 4 year old.

sunshineandshowers40 · 17/08/2021 19:12

Just showed the photo to one of my boys and he said they are girls shoes. Although it shouldn't really matter if they are "boy" or "girl" shoes as long as your DD likes them and will wear them.

Wineandroses3 · 17/08/2021 19:12

Ok I’ll go against the grain, I won’t give you the right answer I’ll just tell you the truth; yes they look like boys shoes!

Tidypidy · 17/08/2021 19:14

My youngest ds had these exact shoes for three years in a row from Rec! They were comfy, not too clumpy and polished up brilliantly. The leather is fairly soft and softens further with wear. Be careful with Startrite as we found they were quite narrow and had very little growing room.

Most children couldn't care less what shoes their classmates are wearing, as a parent I'd much rather my children were in comfy well fitting shoes than trainer type shoes.

SunshineCake · 17/08/2021 19:14

@Maharajah20

Awful, awful shoes for a girl. She will be laughed at. Kids are nasty. They will tell her she has boys shoes. Don’t do it.
What a horrible mind set.
Neverrains · 17/08/2021 19:16

Just showed them to my 6 year old… she just said ‘Megan’s got those’. Asked her if she’d wear them and she said yes.

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 17/08/2021 19:20

Well, and I don't want to get into "boys" or "girls" stereotyping, but if someone had asked if i thought the shop had put them in the boys or girls section I'd have assumed they were in the girls. The heel is more pronounced and usually stereotyped girls shoes have a more pronounced heel. But I wouldn't think much of a girl or a boy wearing them if I'd just seen one in a pair and hadn't been asked.

Notavegan · 17/08/2021 19:22

Have a look at Geox as I got them for my dd last year and they lasted better than any other shoe. Similar style but no heel. And please get her fitted, don't buy online.

QueeniesCroft · 17/08/2021 19:23

So this is your husband's way of volunteering to do all the shoe shopping, yes? Excellent news!

gogohm · 17/08/2021 19:23

Look similar to what my dd had but back then Clark's stitched a pointless black flower into the leather to indicate it was for girls and stuck a toy in the bottom

ShingleBeach · 17/08/2021 19:24

I think they are great, because somehow, try as we might, we never found the special shallow lady-puddles that many girls shoes seem designed for, nor the special nice warm girl-snow that means that girls winter shoes have low fronts and pretty flower shaped holes in them, unlike boys’.

We were fine though with the flimsy non-rugged soles of boys’ shoes because my Dd did float around in a unicorn rainbow rather than charge about in the playground and at the park.

Wink
Hoppinggreen · 17/08/2021 19:28

While I totally agree clothes aren’t gendered 5 year old girls may not agree with me.
So while they are more practical than a lot of shoes labelled “girls shoes” you need to think about whether DD will be happy to wear them, especially if/when she comes home saying someone in her class has said she is wearing boys shoes
Of course that shouldn’t happen etc etc etc bit it might and you have to consider how your DD might feel about that.

2bazookas · 17/08/2021 19:28

They are fine. Lots of kids age 5 wear school shoes with velcro fastenings like that because they haven't learnt to tie laces yet.