My son died in 2017 in an accident. He was young. He was killed instantly. Part of me died with him that night. I am surviving his loss, and have found a way of living with it. I am sad but I am getting on with life. You have to don't you?
My daughter and my grandson live with me. He was born 7 months after his uncle died so he does not know him although we talk sometimes and have photos of my son in the house. He is aware.
He's 3 now. He's bright and speaks really well. You can have long and detailed conversations with him and he understands everything we say.
Recently he said something to his mum which disturbed me.
"I don't want to see Uncle XXXXXX mum"
When she asked him what he meant he told her my son has come into his bedroom at night.
The bedroom used to be my son's room. I'm not sure what I want from this except to say I wish it were me I suppose.