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relationship help

7 replies

LT333 · 16/08/2021 20:22

Title is a bit rubbish but not sure what else to put. Been with husband for 17 years, a few years ago I found out he had been messaging other women online, never met them, I spoke to them and they told me this so was just pictures, calls, dirty talk, they asked to meet but he always put it off as he said he never wanted to. Anyway since then our marriage has improved, last year we had an argument and he went and stayed at a friends for a week. He joined a dating site and was talking to someone on there, I only found out a month ago as came across messages, again same sort of thing, pictures, calls, talking dirty but not meeting. I don't seem to be able to get past this or even know if I should. Can anyone give any advice. Thanks

OP posts:
Galassia · 16/08/2021 20:26

Unless you have very low standards he is really deeply unpleasant.

After the first time he got caught and presumably seeing you hurt and distressed he still went in to do it again.

Be with someone who loves, respects and cherished you above all other.

Galassia · 16/08/2021 20:27

^ cherishes

Palavah · 16/08/2021 20:28

He's cheat. Do you want to stay with him?

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LT333 · 16/08/2021 20:29

We have children and even though he has done this our relationship has actually been really good this last year which is why I feel so confused.

OP posts:
Galassia · 16/08/2021 20:32

It’s been good because his ego is being stroked by other women and he’s a smug bastard about doing stuff behind your back.

That look of happiness is him gloating.

LT333 · 16/08/2021 20:34

Not like that, helping out at home, we was spending more time together. I actually felt like he loved me

OP posts:
Galassia · 16/08/2021 20:50

You don’t seem to grasp that he enjoys making a fool of you and if he has stepped up his game at home it’s just to dupe you and sadly makes him look good to your family and friends.

That way if you do dump him everyone will think you are neurotic and making it up as he is such a ‘great husband’.

When I had a cheating ex I knew instantly he was cheating because he paid me more attention and was nicer to me.

It’s part of their nasty little game strategy.

I’m very blunt and you may find my comments harsh but softening the truth won’t make it any easier for you.

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