I don't know what to do. I have 2 children and an October last year I ended things with my partner after no intimacy for 2 years. We were sleeping apart. Not enjoying conversations and life was getting dull. It honestly got to the point of the thought of kissing him or having sex with him was just no. It was over and I felt like I liked him as a friend but the thought of years together felt empty all of a sudden.
He really struggled with it. But we are now months on and nothing has happened between us. At the start of the year I met someone who I really liked. I told my children's dad I was talking to him. He was hurt and I tried my very best to be sensitive and waited it out. Did nothing intimate with this man. Hoped my ex would start discussing the house and the future. But he didn't. He wept on the floor one day and said he had nothing left. Which killed me and made me feel terrible. For a few months I stopped speaking with the new person. But I couldn't forget him. I knew I liked him alot but the pressure had also pushed him away. He got back in touch in May and we had a few weeks of talking. U felt guilty and stressed because my ex has refused to tell his family we are over so I can't tell mine. I've focused on my kids and just getting through the days. I've been patient but he's just still not wanting to discuss separating and being honest about the future.
A month ago the man I like contacted me and asked me to meet. He told me he wanted to put in 110% now and see if we can work. He said he loved me and his feelings get stronger and stronger for me. We met up and had sex finally. Then I went for a walk with him the other night. Last night I went out after the kids were asleep and he cooked me some food and we had a lovely evening. But I felt like a criminal. I got home last night and thought what do I do? All I want is a few months to date him and get to know him. I don't want to involve my children yet. I want to take my time. I feel so happy when I'm around him but it feels selfish and like I'm not allowed. I know I need to tackle this mess. I want people to know the truth now that we are separated but just focused on the kids. But I don't feel ready to tell them about new man until we've dated long enough to know if we could work long term.
I'm feeling quite upset and stressed out. I don't like sneaking about and want to be a real adult about things. I don't know how to handle any of it because talking has failed me and I don't want to destroy my ex.