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Jealousy over other people's pregnancies and childbirth

3 replies

MedusasBadHairDay · 16/08/2021 10:56

I'm struggling a little at the moment, one of my cousins has just given birth and another is heavily pregnant, and they've both (so far) had very straightforward and enjoyable experiences of it. And while I'm really happy and relieved for them, I'm finding it hard not to compare their experience with my own. Which was.. not so straightforward or pleasant.

I had quite severe hyperemesis in both pregnancies (I spent a lot of time in hospital and was sick right up until giving birth), had SPD in both, my mum died of cancer 3 weeks before I gave birth to my DS, which - in combination with the hyperemesis - led to me being induced, he got stuck and they had to use ventouse. DD's birth was no less traumatic as my waters broke 10 weeks early, and her heart rate kept dropping, so I had to have an emergency c-section under general anaesthetic because the local anaesthetic didn't work and I could feel them start the c-section, then she spent the first 7 weeks or her life in SCBU. And I know I've missed stuff out too.

I wouldn't wish what I went through on my worst enemy, let alone two women who I love very much, but seeing them glowing and enjoying pregnancy with their mum by their side is so painful. I can't help thinking of what I didn't get to experience. And how, something that should have been exciting was more like a living nightmare. I know I should focus on how my DC are now healthy and happy, but I'm struggling.

OP posts:
Garman · 16/08/2021 10:58

You need counselling, I say it as someone who's been through similar experiences and emotions.

wanttomarryamillionaire · 16/08/2021 11:16

I had the same kind of thing my ex was awful to me during pregnancy and childbirth, he completely ruined the experience every time. I sometimes still get pangs of jealousy when i see friends with really supportive partners enjoying their experience. I have learnt to suck it up and realise that the past can't be changed, just try and move on and enjoy your children.

Blueskies3 · 16/08/2021 11:45

No wonder you are feeling like you are, you lost your beloved Mum while heavily pregnant, a difficult birth with your DS and your daughter was premie and in SCBU. Each one of those things are really difficult. I would be jealous of others who have easier pregnancies too.

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