Struggling, work and money and what to do

[YesMandy]

I’m really struggling at work. I’m in a career I love generally but currently doing work I don’t like. It’s likely to last a couple more years on this project. I am single and currently earn 65k. I am considering asking to do four days a week instead of five. But worrying about the pay cut as it’s just me. It would also ruin future prospects of pay rises and if I stick at it I could be on 75-80 in the next few years.

I have nobody to talk to about this stuff as I don’t talk about money with friends. I’m so low. I hate work and find the environment quite toxic with lots or loud voices and big opinions and passive aggressive emails etc. It’s a struggle and I dot know what to do.

Sounds really rough. Have you done some budgets to see how the pay cut would affect you? Might be a good place to start. It seems like a good salary, but obviously depends on your essential outgoings. Equally what would the future pay rise pay for?

Is there any way to move sideways to get back to what you enjoy or away from the difficult environment? I've worked in toxic environments and it can take a huge toll on your mental health.

Thanks @wonderstuff I am finding it really hard. I could take a pay cut but worry about being on my own

My experience was that I stayed longer than I should have because I was worried about money and I didn't want to pass up the opportunity for career progression. What happened was that I became completely unable to work and it took months to recover. With hindsight I couldn't afford to stay, the cost to my health was great and it was unsustainable.

You may be completely different, and be quite able to stick it out. Do consider that just as money is important because your sole earner, health is also very important because you're running the show solo.

Good luck, it's a horrible situation to be in.

I had my crisis about 7 years ago, I took a cut, my skills meant I could earn a decent amount doing 3 days a week, which I still do. I've had opportunities for increased hours and promotion back to the position I left, but I'm now studying part time and hopefully will be able to move sideways to a job with a better work/life balance and have better opportunities for progress in that area.

I am very lucky to not be sole earner, which did make it all easier.

What are your outgoings? Mortgage etc.

A lot of people who think they can't make any cutbacks, when they really sit down and think about it, often (not always) find that they can. Sit down and have a proper, honest look through your spending.

You must live in a very high cost area to not be very comfortable on £65k, even on your own.

Is there any chance of changing employer or a new job that focusses on the bits you do like with none or less of the bits you don't like? Or contracting/self employed in the same or a similar industry?

@Leavesofautumn

What are your outgoings? Mortgage etc.

A lot of people who think they can't make any cutbacks, when they really sit down and think about it, often (not always) find that they can. Sit down and have a proper, honest look through your spending.

Agree with this also. Really review your essential costs and spending to see if you could be comfortable with a simpler life on a lower salary. Could you move to a cheaper area even if it meant earning less?

Can you change project or change employer? It seems nuts to go part-time when you love your job in general but just not this particular project?

I don’t live in an expensive area it’s around 1k a month for my household expenses excluding food but including bills. I have student loans though so a good 350 goes to that too.

@Palavah I could but I just feel like I am not coping. A lot of stress and passive aggressive emails it’s not nice. So competitive people don’t work together at all

Are you well enough to work? I felt the same recently and ended up being signed off.

@Palavah i think I am im just really sad and not coping with the people around me much anymore, i used to be more robust

I agree with 'can you afford to stay'. If promotion and earnings are very important to you which they might justifiably be, then OK, you will need to work out how to make living like this sustainable without burning out and breaking down. It might just might be worth two more awful years. For me, health has to come first because if you don't have that you can't do the other stuff.

@YesMandy

I don’t live in an expensive area it’s around 1k a month for my household expenses excluding food but including bills. I have student loans though so a good 350 goes to that too.

So you should be able to afford to take a bit of a pay cut, eg by dropping to 4 days a week (remember that due to 40% tax, your salary won't go down by that much) or taking a lower paid job that's a bit less pressured, if such a thing is available in your industry.

Have PM'd you

If you like the career but not the current project or colleagues, I wouldn't drop to 4 days, but I would start seriously looking for a move to a different team / project / company still in the career I was happy with. And I would take steps to protect my mental health in the meantime - such as making sure I didn't work excessive hours, taking breaks, self care and so on.

Spend money now on making your life more bearable and fun while saving to make a transition to something you enjoy. If you plan enough ahead e.g. overpay the mortgage, it won't matter taking a paycut. You could reduce hours and pick up something part time on the side that you love. Overall the financial impact won't be as much and your life will be weighted more towards happiness.