I don't want to proceed with a houseo sale.

[LipstickLou]

Husband and I want to change horses and buy locally. Daughter angry as hates area. We are happy here, she is turning 18 next week. She has mh issues. Husband is currently walking to work and has not been so happy or healthy for a decade.

If your DD turns 18 next week, then I assume she has already finished school which is why she wants to move. It's unlike her mental health will be much better in a different area, if she's that ill.

Where does your DD want to move to?

If you work overseas can she stay with you for a bit?

I'm assuming she's too ill to find a job or go to university, which is what most 18yos who hate the area they live do.

Why does she get to dictate a house move ?

Anyway, none of this makes sense because there is no house sale (or horse sale) because you're renting, and looking to buy.

So you’ve lived there all your daughters life? You say you’ve been in the area 20 years and she’s 18?

How does she even know what another area would be like?

Live where you and your DH want to live, she might have been ill but she’s only 18 and she’s not the one buying the house.

That’s if ive even understood what’s going on because your posts are very confusing.

@LipstickLou

We have lived here for almost twenty years. Daughter hates it. She wants us to move, we don't. She is very clever but suffers from PTSD. When do we think about us? I need my friends to cope with her.

Instead of moving where she wants can you help her start saving towards a place of her own or making applications for council housing on her own?

Unless you have left out a massive piece of information that is specific to the local area you live in, then I can’t see how moving would make a difference to her mental health. Presumably a lot of the people involved in the bullying have moved on to uni/ colleges anyway….or is she actively currently being abused by people/persons local to you?

You don’t need your daughters permission. Do what’s right for you & your husband.

I'm guessing the daughter thinks her unhappiness will be fixed by moving. It won't if it is caused by sadness inside her. It doesn't sound like moving would be the right thing for any of you.

@eurochick

That is exactly what she thinks. We have lived here for all of her life bar two years when we went to a large local town and initially she did become well. We moved for financial reasons. Covid had a huge impact on her. She stopped studying and is now a neet. She also feels too anxious for a job. She is trying to avoid the bullies yet as said previously they are in the main off to uni or work this year. If we go back to this town she will be on her own all day. Her three local friends are off to uni. In our market town she has at least 6 friends. She runs away when she feels under pressure. Due to an incident she wants to run again. She won't have regular therapy. I am exhausted but working again. We have offered her rent money so she can do a flat share. Doesn't want that. I feel torn as we are getting older and want a retirement proof house.

Hi, IP. I haven't rtft properly but just wanted to say that our DD has suffered mentally for years. We finally got her to agree to do EMDR therapy. Oh, my goodness. It's been a life changer!

I took a long time to choose a psychologist who practised it. There are many counsellors who profess to be able to practise EMDR therapy but they didn't seem to have the professional experience and training. DD's psychologist is doing 10 sessions and perhaps one folllow-up one if required. £120 per session. Definitely, definitely worth the money. I just wish DD had allowed us to get this therapy earlier but she wouldn't. You can dm me for further information if you want.