Anyone feel a tad friendless since we re opened post covid?

[Peterbear]

Anyone feel a bit 'left out' since we unlocked? I have been feeling a bit lonely tbh. I have a handful of close friends but they all have siblings/parents close by and these take priority (understandably). I can always find someone to have a coffee or a walk/chat with but I always have to do the inviting/organising. If I don't then no social life. I just wish someone would invite me out occasionally. I was looking forward to normal life but actually now that it's (partly) here it feels a bit crap and lonely. My kids are 14 and 15 and very independent which is great but often feel like a spare part.anyone else?

I get how you feel. Similar aged dc, my own family some distance away. My social life has just started to reignite now but it took a while for people to emerge from hibernation and start seeing friends as well as family.
I've had a few people get in touch who I sense are feeling like you describe so I'm going to arrange a few coffee dates.

It does feel like life is suddenly really hectic again though so it might just be that for the majority. I'm actually looking forward to September and a bit of a routine again.

Yes! I think Covid has really shone a spotlight on friendships. Really feel for you.

Single parent here, most friends are married/ have wider family commitments and not much time. I understand but it can be lonely.

I don’t know what the answer is, I wish I had useful advice to offer. Are there any clubs that you could join? I joined a running club and that did help, though doesn’t fill the gap completely.

I think we need lots of avenues for social interaction, not putting too much on any one thing iyswim ( friends/clubs and hobbies/family etc).

I actually think that my DH has felt this more than I have. He has worked throughout the pandemic whilst most of his friends are what I call "pub friends" in as much as he only meets them for a pint in the pub. We have recently found out that most of the rest have already been meeting up (breaking lockdown prior to that) for some time at each others houses.

Me too. Have felt particularly lonely this weekend. I am a single parent and moved (prior to kids) to exH's area so knew no one. Made a couple of friends through NCT and toddler groups but it has been hard to sustain over the last 18m.

As an introvert I haven't really minded lockdown as it has provided pretty good cover for times when I was happy not seeing anyone, but weirdly feeling far more lonely now that socialising is allowed to happen.

No one ever asks me to do stuff either. Slightly dreading my birthday next year as I will either have to arrange something myself and invite people or not do anything...

I did however reach out to a couple of people this weekend to arrange coffee etc because I have simply come to the conclusion that I need to put the effort in for now as the 'outsider' but then hopefully will get some reciprocal invites back...

I also have started playing a sport, which makes me feel sociable and like I have a purpose one night each week. Do you do any sports or have hobbies?

Feeling lonely is rubbish

Yes, me too. We moved here a few years ago, spent a year renovating our house then had DD and I didn't really meet anyone on maternity leave, then covid hit... so pretty sparse on the friends front unfortunately. The older i get the harder it seems to be to make friends, and the current situation makes it all much harder.

Thanks for the responses.Seems it's not just me.Hope we find ourselves in a better place soon.xx

@Peterbear

I totally get where your coming from - I went out with some friends the other night but a lot of friends don't want to meet up or go out because of COVID - a lot are working from home and the recent news stories about 3rd waves are making them nervous but yes I hadnt been out for ages before Thursday

Yep. This has made me realise that I have no friends.
Everyone couldn't wait to meet up with friends again after lockdown but I had no one that I saw again.
DCs are adults but still live at home. So it's just them, dp and me.
Only person I met again after was my Mum.
I wish I had friends I could meet for lunch or coffee occasionally

@Snozzlemaid I'm hazarding a wild guess you're not too far from me. Always happy to meet for coffee.

Yes!! I could have written your post. Plenty of people to meet up with, but only if I make all the effort.
It's getting me down a bit too although all in all I've had a lovely summer.
I put it down to:
People's social skills have gone a bit crap over the last 18 months, we're all a bit too comfy staying in.
People still not having bigger events with their wider social circles.
People prioritising travelling to family/friends who're further afield.
People still isolating or choosing social situations very carefully.
It still hurts to know that if you didn't make arrangements a full week could go by without human contact though.

Definitely, single mum to autistic 9 year old dd and the holidays have really highlighted how isolated we are. No invitations for me or my daughter it's so incredibly hard. No family really either.

@Snozzlemaid @carlywurly I reckon I'm close by too!

Yes, I feel invisible right now. I’m having a fucking hard time and I’d love to go out for a walk/coffee/both and just forget about stuff for a while.

Well, giving you all a massive hug and a virtual coffee.xx☕🍩

Having an autistic child in my opinion makes me lonely anyway,I don't get many invites because I think they think you leave the umbilical cord attached on special needs babies 🤣
I'd love to have friends to go for coffee with and just chat without the kids around x

I know what you all mean 😕 I organised a picnic at the end of term for my DS' birthday and I supplied everything food wise, party bags etc. It was a weird year for the kids to start school with no parties and few opportunities for play dates. I had hoped for an invite or two back to do something parent & Dc, no nothing. I even suggested it to a couple of people at the picnic and they say "oh yeah of course, we should", but I sensed they didn't want to.

I invited one mum & DC over for a play date starts of the hols, they came had a lovely time, but no invite back or even a park meet-up suggestion. I just feel like history is repeating itself with DS having no friends like me.

Also I hoped to make some new friends with DS stating school as we only moves to this area pre Covid, maybe they smell the desperation. Maybe it's more complicated with me having a younger child too.

@boohhooy this is how I feel too, always me arranging things and nothing in return

boohhooy that sounds absolutely lovely but I must confess that the level of effort you put in would have intimidated me and I would have not made commitments with you for fear of not being as good at the stuff as you! I know that sounds silly and you were absolutely doing your best but I am an anxious person and would be comparing my efforts against yours. This isn't said at all to make you feel bad, just to show that sometimes other people's insecurities can affect the plans that they will make. I hope that this doesn't offend you as that is honestly not my intention at all. Hopefully the new school term brings with it some more opportunities to socialise for you, you do sound lovely

@smallandimperfectlyformed no I get what you mean. I think I don't know how to friend. I think I do OTT

Maybe I should just suggest a park meet up, home play dates are not in everyone's comfort zone. I just don't think my DS has any close friends yet and I don't want to embarrass myself any further 💔

Ah I know just how you feel, I think park meet ups might be a good idea. I don't invite people to my home not because I am anti social but because my flat is overcrowded and needs decorating so again there are reasons that people may not be inviting you over that are nothing to do with you. Have you tried any of those meet a mum apps? I think there's one called Peanut, that may help you make friends. Best of luck