Disassociation. Does anything help?

[HangingOver]

I've been go through a bit of stress recently and my anxiety levels have gone up. Usually things like waking with heavy feeling in stomach, tightness in throat etc.

In the last four days it's got worse and I feel completely disconnected from everything. Like a gap between me and everything else is making it all unreal. DP seems unreal. None of my belongings look like mine. Consequences don't seem real. My reflection doesn't look like me. I don't even know if I'm definitely writing this, it feels so much like a dream. I can't seem to do anything except nap because the experience is so scary. Has anyone else had this and how long did it take to go away?

I have had it though less acutely than you.

Google "Grounding exercises". You want to focus on things like mindfulness, but of physical objects. A good one is really noticing your feet pushing into the ground, wiggling your toes to feel that sensation. Looking at an object and describing it in detail, out loud. Rubbing something like a stone or other object and feeling all its qualities. Do this whilst breathing deeply.

If you're not feeling better soon, it may be worth going to the GP. Do you have any psychological diagnoses?

Things that do not work for me are looking in the mirror. I find that quite disassociating. Too much of our identity to question.

Try also to be aware of what media you consume. Try and stick to things that are based in the real; ie nature docs or simple comedy shows. Maybe just stick with music for a little bit.

Take good care of yourself OP.

I have this a lot too OP. Its part of my autism I think.It helps me deal with the daily stress of just living. I can just about manage all day then get home and just shut down and zone out of the real world for a while to recover.
I dont find that too bad but its happening a lot right now, I'm really burnt out. I also had a shut down in public last week, it was terrible. People just kept pushing me beyond my limits, I couldn't hold back anymore.
Thats the worst time, you have to try walking, talking, doing stuff but you can't, it doesn't come out right, like you say like its all a dream or something.

I had depersonalisation and derealization. I felt like the world wasn't real and felt disconnected from my body. It is such a terrifying feeling, like nothing else. Once someone explained what it was and that there were other people who felt the same, that helped a bit. What has mainly cured it for me was therapy - CBT and also EMDR weirdly enough to address the underlying cause. I would encourage you to try contacting a GP/ or a private counsellor if you can, and also if you Google there are a few self help books on the subject.
www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Depersonalisation-Feelings-Unreality-behavioural/dp/1845295544?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I hate it. Bizarrely, driving round roundabouts or along long, boring straights sets it off. I used to have it every day, years ago,

Meant to say, I’ve had it 15 years. I’ve put the mirror up above my eye level!

I had this many years ago. The only thing I found that helped me was to try and concentrate on the immediate sensations of things. So instead of worrying and thinking 'None of this feels real. Why doesn't it feel real?' I tried to just focus on the feel/ texture/smell/colour/sensation of the things around me. In this way I realised that it doesn't matter what's real. I realised that there was a certain reality to the texture of a woollen blanket, or the taste of a cup of tea. I didn't need to analyse it. I also realised I could make a decision to choose to treat everything as real, even if I didn't think it was. Then the anxiety started to die away and eventually I went back to normal.

Some great advice on here thanks so much everyone. I'm trying all your tips. I've noticed it does seem to be temporarily "reset" by sleeping so I'm going to keep trying to mindfully ignore it until it goes away, if that makes any sense!

It will pass, HangingOver. With me it comes and goes. If you are able to sleep it helps, you often wake up feeling better though tired. Sometimes it is nature's way of protecting us but it can also be annoying when it stops us doing things that are necessary and/or we want to do.

Take heart, you are not alone.
You don't have to find a vase and put these in water .

I really feel for you, it is such a frightening feeling. I can still vividly remember the first time it happened to me when I was about 10 and waiting to board a ferry at Dover with my mum. Nothing felt real, my mum was talking to me and I could answer but it didn't feel like my voice was even coming from "me".

I've never really understood it, for me it comes on out of the blue not necessarily when I'm feeling anxious or anything and thankfully usually only lasts a few minutes before I come back to myself. I have often wondered if there is a hormonal link, or perhaps lack of sleep, but I can't really be certain of any definite triggers.
I still find it really scary although I do try and do what a PP suggests and just concentrate on little details, like the taste of my drink or the feel of the fabric of whatever I am wearing and I do try to just breathe and stay calm and keep telling myself in my head that I'm ok and it will pass soon.

Oh darling ❤️ This has happened to me a few times when my anxiety has been horrendous. It is terrifying (which makes it worse)

I find keeping busy, distractions, deep breathing exercises and grounding and it gradually disappears x

Thank for all your tips and advice. I'm on day 5 and have cried a few times about it today. Managed to somehow get through work and a play rehearsal which I think means distracting is a good thing. Have asked my doctor to put me back on Citalopram.

You're doing well, HangingOver.

Just checking back in because I feel like I'm losing my mind. I cannot believe anxiety has the ability to make you feel this spaced out and ill. I'm so scared I'm going to have this forever.

It's horrible :( I have it permanently to a degree as a symptom of vestibular migraine, but also much more acute symptoms when I'm very anxious and/or tired. Reading something really absorbing seems to help me, or grounding exercises - a good one is to look for five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. This brings you back into your body, as it were, distracts you from focusing on how weird you feel, and also helps to confirm to your brain that there are no immediate threats, which calms anxiety.

I have it permanently to a degree as a symptom of vestibular migraine

Can I ask what this is like? My late month used to get migraine for a whole month sometimes...

I remember that fear. It's a horrible spiral because the more anxious you feel, the more dissociated you feel, which makes you more anxious! I found the key (through CBT) was breaking the connection between the feeling of dissociation and the anxiety. Easier said than done I know. Do you have times when you feel worse, when your anxiety is very high? Your body cannot keep up that high anxiety state forever - it is why panic attacks don't last for hours and hours. So when you are feeling really bad, start noticing what is happening in your body. Watch as your body starts to calm down. Notice that after a while you start to feel a bit better. You are still here. You are safe. The feeling of dissociation hasn't hurt you.
The more you can do this, the more you can teach the primative part of your brain that the feeling of dissociation is not a threat, and hopefully this will break the cycle.
I've probably explained that really badly but that was the gist.
Keep posting here. It will be ok 🙂 you will not feel this way forever, I promise.

Thanks for your support. I wish I could articulate to the people around me how unbelievably scary this is. If you woke up this way and didn't know it was anxiety you'd go to the hospital or something, it's awful

Me and my sister both get this when our anxiety/depression is rising. We call it floating - "I've got the float again" - because that's what it feels like. Like we're not grounded or connected to anything, just floating around everything and everyone. Like a hazy dream. I have no advice, it tapers off for us eventually, just letting you know you're not alone or unusual in any way

Thank for replying. I'm praying so hard that the pills will bring my anxiety down and put me back in my head. It's crazy last week I was normal and healthy (if anxious) and now I can't do anything

Vestibular migraine is really hard to describe because it's so weird and it varies so much. My 'baseline' is constantly feeling a bit drunk and spaced out, with a foggy head which often descends into unbelievable, crushing drowsiness. I have very poor balance and feel floaty and light-headed when I'm walking but with muscle jerks as my body overcorrects, especially in busy places or in fluorescent lights, which I find unbearable. I have phases of crippling free-floating anxiety because I feel so blooming weird all the time. I'm ridiculously sensitive to smells and often get that very distinct migraine nausea for hours at a time after the merest whiff of cigarette or wood smoke or very strong perfume. Frequent full-blown migraines over the top of all that - before preventatives I was lucky if I had one or two migraine-free days a months, but now with nortriptyline, pregabalin and sumatriptan it's a bit better. I've tried umpteen treatments, the most recent being topiramate, which made everything worse, Botox, which helped a bit, and Emgality injections, which cut the migraines down to seven a month but made the spaced-out head much, much worse, so I'm just coming off that. I've lived like this for 28 years, had to give up driving, and rarely leave the house without my partner. It's not fun!

How are you now I’ve had this for about 3 months it’s driving me crazy 🥹