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Changed plans grrr

5 replies

WTF0ver · 15/08/2021 12:58

I have a couple of friends I see semi regularly. Friend A is often busy so sometimes Friend B and I do our own thing, and occasionally Friend A will see one of us by ourselves too. Myself and Friend B are quiet and introverted and Friend A is very loud and dominates conversations. When we go to hers it's usually her talking at length about the latest drama in her life and us sitting and adding the odd encouraging word but we can barely get a word in edge ways about what we've been up to, nor does she ask.

Friend A has been in a newish intense relationship and been seeing her bf a lot, so we've not seen her that much of late. I'd recently asked Friend B if she wanted to go for hot chocolate, she was busy too but said she could do today.

Then Friend A got dumped suddenly last week, we have both been over to offer hand holds and sympathy as she talked at length about what happened and how upset she is, which is fine and expected.

I've had a busy week and was really looking forward to relaxing with an indulgent hot chocolate today. Was finalising plans with Friend B when Friend A texted and asked if we want to go for a walk with her. Friend B messaged me back and asked if I wanted to do that instead. I felt like I had to say yes, to be a supportive friend to Friend A who is still reeling from her split. I'm a little surprised Friend B was so ready to jump to it because I know she gets weary of Friend A's conversation-hogging and ranting, and that's all she's going to be doing today as well. Can get a hot drink where we're going but it's not the same.

I guess I just hate plans changing when I was looking forward to doing the first thing!

OP posts:
Rogue1001 · 15/08/2021 13:08

Can't you do both?

Galassia · 15/08/2021 13:14

I couldn’t stand being a doormat to someone who is draining in my time and is emotionally draining by the sound of it.

She sounds like a 14 year old drama queen.

3Br1tnee · 15/08/2021 13:26

Let friend B pander to A if that's what she wants to do and you go and get a hot chocolate on your own.

cakeseeker · 15/08/2021 13:27

I would guess that Friend B wants you there to share the conversation/mental load of seeing Friend A. Or possibly thinks "I have to be nice, WTFOver won't want to leave Friend A out."

WTF0ver · 15/08/2021 13:36

I think I'll treat myself to one after! Friend A is bringing her DC so a cafe isn't really suitable for her. Also, AF has just arrived so that's probably why I'm feeling so grumpy about this!

OP posts:
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