DD has been been in what I consider an abusive relationship for over 3 years, through college and out the other side. I have never met him. Not aggressive but uses her when it is convenient and ignores her the rest of the time. Cancels dates, holidays etc. on a whim, sleeps with others, dumps her then gets in contact when she might possibly be getting over him. Middle of the night/when drunk is the preferred time for this. Doesn’t matter if he’s in another relationship. Absolutely selfish. But she lives in hope it will all end happily with him. How do I stop the madness? Call him up and tell him to get out of my daughter’s life? Does that actually work? Or ask his parents to tell him the same? D is too hung up on him to see how much she is being taken advantage of. Doesn’t want to discuss finally ending it as she’s reluctant to lose last thread of hope. I can’t bear to see how hopeful she gets from even a single phone call after months of nothing, never thought I’d see her self-regard and self-esteem drop so low. Received wisdom is not to interfere as you shouldn’t helicopter-parent an adult, and that in any case it would just make matters worse. But feel angry yet utterly helpless to see this thoughtless, selfish, arrogant young male wreak havoc in my daughter’s life any time he likes. Can’t see how it can end. Any advice?