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Struggling to like my own parents as my children go through teen years...

2 replies

TeardropImplodes · 14/08/2021 18:32

So I'm the eldest daughter and I have a brother, two years younger, who is the family golden child. I wasn't a crazy bad teen but there was a lot of 'under my roof' talk and teasing which my brother didn't get.
At eighteen I left home, did uni, worked, met DH, kids, etc.
Over the years I've sent birthday cards, presents for significant wedding anniversarys, posh family tea parties, etc My brother and wife never do this and will actively avoid my parents on rare visits to their area. My brother is still their favourite!

As my own kids have moved through the teen years, i've been reminded of how awful I felt my own teen relationship was with my parents and as an adult I'm feeling more and more distant from them with less and less in common. I respect how hard they worked but I find little to love these days and it's really got worse as I'm parenting my own teens with first boyfriend/exam result / job/ milestones. I just can't talk to them about my own, rather lovely children.

Anyone else feel their relationship shift with their own teens bringing up memories?

OP posts:
Liverbird77 · 14/08/2021 18:36

I'm not at the teen stage yet. We have two toddlers. I know exactly what you mean though. When I think of all the times I was hit for being "naughty" when I was just being a typical little kid.
I've never raised a hand to mine and I never will.

UnfinishedBunting · 14/08/2021 18:56

Yes, there's nothing like becoming a parent to make you think about how you were parented.

How do you feel about putting in a bit less effort? So maybe matching theirs?

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