Hating every day with two year olds random obsession

[SleepyMamm]

I don’t even know how to ask for advice because it’s just such a weird situation but honestly everyday has become hell with my toddler. I don’t know what’s going on with him but every second we are at home is just hell. I try and be out as much as possible but he’s difficult then too. For the last few weeks in the days I can’t get him to play, do arts and crafts, watch TV, if I try and do anything with him he just cries “mummy kitchen” we will go and stand in the kitchen and he will just want me to stand there and hold him then start asking for everything. I mean every 5 minutes is a complete battle. From 6am to 9.30am today every 3 seconds “mummy kitchen” we go to the kitchen “mummy banana” gives him a banana he refuses to eat, “mummy toast” makes him toast he refuses to eat “mummy fruit” gives him fruit he doesn’t eat. I will then refuse to give him anything else as he’s wasting all this other food and he will have an absolute screaming tantrum and just be horrible to be around for however long until he calms down and it starts again. I took him out for hours, he was nothing but grumpy and screaming and embarrassing he slept in the buggy for an hour I get home hoping for a nice afternoon playing with toys, doing some painting nope all he wants to do is go stand in the kitchen and cry for food he subsequently refuses to eat. Or we just stand there for ages. He’s a heavy two year I don’t want to stand and hold him in the kitchen for hours. I can’t keep wasting this much food everyday but I can’t deal with the relentless tantrums if I say no, not that it’s any better if I do to be honest. He’s just become an absolute misery who is asking to be in the kitchen every 3 seconds and nothing will stop it and I am hating everyday

He isn't hungry by the way he eats breakfast lunch and dinner and snacks but I mean Every few mins throughout the day he wants to go to the kitchen

Tell him the kitchen is closed
The kitchen is finished
Put a big X on a piece of paper and stick on the door as a visual. No idea if it will work but worth a try.

Possibly a random suggestion , but could you get him a toy kitchen and introduce some imaginary play with wooden food and coooking etc. Every time he says mummy kitchen , say his name kitchen and keep going until he gets stuck in.

I tried closing the door and he just headbutts it and sits their wailing. I've tried taking him to his toy kitchen and he then cries for big kitchen. It's just so weird I don't know what's going on

Oh dear that does sound boring for you.
Do you think it’s a game, getting the food out & naming it?
Maybe do playing with water in the kitchen - my son loved standing on a stool filling things with water and making bubbles, it might distract him from food.

Try telling him that Teddy is in his kitchen asking for DS to help him and see if that gives you any clues.

Can you give him a cupboard that has non-breakable things that he can then play with? Saucepan, wooden spoon, plastic plate? Maybe even some toy food or stuff from his toy kitchen? Basically a toy kitchen but in the “big” kitchen.

He’s obviously asking for something from you, but not food. What associations might he have with the kitchen and with being given food? Might it be where he gets a certain kind of attention from you? Can you try and name feelings he might have such as angry, upset, lonely? He might need to know from you that, whatever it is he wants, he doesn’t have to be in the kitchen to get it. Could you offer cuddles instead of kitchen and see what happens? It does sound really wearing and of course he’s too little to tell you what’s going on for him which will frustrate him too.

He's perhaps trying out instructions. They do get stuck on a new skill sometimes, like when they first learn the slide ladder and just go up and down repeatedly.

Just accept it as a boring phase and go and hand him things he names and put them back. If you see it as a naming and pointing activity rather than as an actual request for food, it may help.

Get plastic food. DS did this, he didn’t actually want anything to eat he just loved to ask and watch. I got plastic food, if he asked for fruit he got offered the toy fruit (outside of his usual meal/snack times). He spent weeks playing that game then got bored and moved on to the bathroom instead

Mine asks for a cup of milk and then doesn’t drink it. Or water in an open cup that he almost immediately tips on the floor. He loves tipping water between cups - I got him a plastic tea set and he makes me endless ´coffees’. All the water ends up on the floor so pick your location carefully.

Sounds like my almost 2 year old.

Mummy fridge.

Open fridge. Look around. Close fridge.

Mummy fridge.

Open fridge etc

Rinse and repeat all bloody day.

No advice really except hang in there. It will eventually fade.

Lots of sympathy though, toddlers can be absolute arseholes.

Put headphones on (you) and let him scream all he likes.

I know it’s frustrating, I’ve got a 2 year old as well. I feel your pain.

As you know he’s not doing this because he’s hungry, I would stop ‘the game’ because it’s making you both miserable.

Yep, he’s going to have mega tantrums when you don’t do what he wants but he will learn. It won’t last forever.

A play kitchen sounds like a great idea - when he says mummy banana, go to the toy kitchen and give him a toy banana.

Good luck!

@Ofnorman

No advice really except hang in there. It will eventually fade.

Lots of sympathy though, toddlers can be absolute arseholes.

^ this It’s exhausting isn’t it! How about soft play? Or their own toy kitchen? You could put some real food in there too.