It’s just so hard

[didihearthatright123456]

Having twins is just so hard!! I knew it would be, I wasn’t naive but I wasn’t expecting to feel so utterly broken at times.

My twins are 2 now, and going through the typical terrible 2 stage. Both are poorly at the moment with colds, they constantly cry and each one grabs a leg and begs to be picked up. The feckin dog is pinching everything, which causes screaming fits and meltdowns. He won’t give anything back as it’s just the best game in the world. He’s been on a lovely long walk with DH at 7am this morning so it’s not like he’s desperate to go out.

I’ve come out with one of my DT’s for a drive as they didn’t have a sleep at lunch due to her coughing so much it woke her up.

Sometimes I just cannot think straight or string 2 thoughts together. Other days are so enjoyable and I love it but the hard days are just so so difficult.

They go to nursery for 2 mornings a week and my parents have them for 2 afternoons a week, but they’re in their 70’s now and don’t feel as though we can put anymore on them. My husbands family live a 2 hour drive away and we rarely get any help from them.

I do go to playgroups, soft play, parks and to the library but during the school holidays it’s just too busy.

How did you get through the really tough times? The times you had to really dig deep just to get through the day

I relate to this so much, especially the broken concentration, feeling like your brain is stuttering or something! It won't last forever, some days are truly awful when you're in the thick of it and can feel like torture with the sheer relentlessness. But it won't last forever. It won't. It gets so much better when they start school, I know that seems far off but like everyone always says, it flys. In the meantime do what you can to mitigate the bad days. Calpol and sleep, (for them and you) are just great although I know its not that easy. Try to forgive yourself, it's just not possible to be a perfect parent or person and especially not when you have 2 of them to contend with like a little tag team! Remind yourself often it won't last forever. It's gradual but it starts to ease off eventually and you can feel more and more brainspace coming back. Mine are 5 now and getting easier all the time. Always ashamed to admit and I never thought I would wish away time but I looked forward to them starting school so much, then the bloody pandemic happened
I am sure you are doing an absolutely brilliant job, necause you have to and you really are a supermum. You carry on because you must, you find the strength because you are strong.
Try and treat yourself to an early night tonight if you can, tomorrow's a new day.

Thank you so much, it really helps that someone else understands. On my bad days I stand in my house, look around and I’m overwhelmed by the amount of toys out, the island in the kitchen is cluttered, and I associate all of that with my cluttered mind. I somehow think that if I had a tidy house I’d have a tidy mind but I honestly think that the “perfect mum bullshit”

There’s a small chance that they’d be able to start nursery (30 hours) next Easter, but in reality’s it’s more likely to be next September. On my good days (I do have them sometimes lol) I think I’ll really miss them, on my bad days I just cannot wait.

An early night tonight is definitely on the cards

Xx

Mine are eleven now, it got significantly better when they were four.
Hang in there. Our rules were; the most sleep for the most people (a lot of bed hopping went on for the first few years, from 4 they consistently slept through in their own beds) and ‘one foot in front of the other’ for those awful days. We slightly complicated things by having an unexpected third DC when the twins were 4 and OH MY God one was an absolute doddle.
Twins are really really relentless. Keep going and

I don't have twins but I have a very short age gap and it was very hard in those earlier days. I remember feeling exactly as you do but it does get better. I promise. Mines are 5 and whilst they fight, they also play nicely and its just easier all around