Just reflecting that I am into my fourth year of having a suicidal husband. He is a properly lovely man but hasn’t had a true period of mental good health in this time. His suicidal ideation has claimed and flared throughout. He has had counselling - at least two types with three different people all of whom seemed a good match. He has done a long course of cbt. There were other counsellors left and not followed up. Been under the community team or crisis team throughout swoooing between the two as circumstances demanded. Seen a psychiatrist, seen lots of other hcps including drs, nurses and psychologists. Had a whole load of different meds. Changed job/not worked/ worked part time etc.
Recently he has been showing signs of emotionally putting his affairs in order and is again in the grip of suicidal feelings and lots of rage at himself. Non of this comes out at us, ever. His ideas for his death have the madness of the suicidal.
We are a good couple, have great kids and often look or maybe even seem for a bit very average-in a good way but this illness swallows up any defences.
I feel less creative than I could be in my solutions. Have been keeping everything together and maybe I am missing something in my day at a time onwards approach. I am fine in the basics so I am calm, non judgmental, cuddly, take pressure where I can but what else has helped anyone you know, or you. I would so appreciate hearing any details or thoughts that could give me some ideas.