Getting back into driving

[Miracle29]

Hi everyone I feel stupid posting this but it's something that's playing on my mind and affecting me. I passed my test 3 years ago now once I passed i would drive to places where I'd be comfortable going and didnt think I was doing too bad. Then we sold the car for another which is quite abit older than the one we had and for some reason I found it harder to drive. I made quite a few mistakes which put me off driving. They were not major mistakes nor were they dangerous. Then covid hit and as we couldn't go anywhere I didnt drive for a year! The thought of getting in the car makes me shake and my heart race, I feel sick to think about it. Parking wasnt something that was taught alot in the lessons so I do struggle with reverse parking. I hate roundabouts and I hate going somewhere I dont know incase I get lost and dont know how to get back. People have advised to go on a driving course but I really dont wnat to do that I wnat to try and get over this and do it myself. I feel awful because I cant take my kids anywhere because of my stupid nerves. When I have pushed myself I feel so proud but a few people have passed in my family and they are out driving everywhere and enjoying it but i cant physically get in it to drive. What is up with me? The last time I drove I was approaching a small roundabout popped it into second and a shot forward my partner said all I needed to do was slow to the gear as I was probably going to quick for second. The car we had last time had a thing on the dash where it recommends what gear to go to with the speed so when I first passed this was a massive help but this car doesn't have this. I should be well on my way now and feel confident driving to the places I've already drive to but now I wont drive anywhere. Am I alone in this? I know I need to get in it but it's like something blocking me from getting in it. Please help it's really getting to me. Thankyou

You need to practice. Can you arrange it so it's only you and a friend without the kids or DP or anyone else to distract you.
Then choose a place you know but is far enough away.
Go at the quietest traffic times and just drive for driving sake (not to go anywhere iykwim)
Build it up as often as you get the opportunity, get used to driving again and then you can add in the stressors.

It really is a case of the more you do it the better you will get.

Thanks for your reply. My partner has offered a few times and I think yes I'll drive today then when the time comes I get nervous and embarrassed and I just dont know why. The things I felt confident doing before I now dont even though I know I could do it. I need to give myself i kick up the backside and just do it but it's just putting myself in the car and think right i know what I'm doing and just do it.

You will get there.
Some pressure free driving just to get your eye back in and confidence up and before you know it you will be all over and not register you're driving.
I think most people get rusty, I certainly did and I'd driven for over 20 years but a couple of years off knocked !y confidence.

Thankyou thequeef its annoyed me I've allowed it to get to this but your right I will get there in time. Hopefully I'll find the strength to get in the car rather than stare at it through the window saying I wish i could just get in it.

I've got to drive in 2 days I've got to take my children to the dentist and have no other option. It's only a 10 minute drive and I'm already starting to get nervous and planning my route even though I know where it its. I've also got to park in my drive when I cone back and weve not long had it done so not parked on it myself yet and it is slightly uphill. I've never parked in a drive before how do I do it? Do I slow down go into first gear before turning into the drive? Soooo nervous but I need to do it.

Yes go down to first gear to park.
As a rough guide, 0-10 mph 1st gear
10-20 2nd gear
20-30 3rd gear
30-40/50 4th gear (if you're accelerating quickly to join a motorway you will get more oomph staying in 4th gear for longer)

Look at a map and work out the main roads and their names where you live. Which way is north and which is south etc. Eg I live in Newcastle, for me Morpeth is on A1 North and Gateshead is A1 South. If you mess up on a roundabout and come off the wrong exit, keep driving to the next roundabout and turn right to go back the way you came.
Can you put Google Maps on your phone and get a sticky dashboard holder to secure it?

You need to listen to your car for the gears. You should be able to hear when you need to change gear. How were you not taught parking? It's part of the test so you must have learned it.

Thankyou for the replies I did have a phone holder which broke so I do need to get another. I'm so mad at myself for not driving during lockdown because its knocked my confidence alot.

Pheasentsnest I did learn parking briefly and I'm fine to park outside a house but never in a drive. If it was a level drive I would be ok but as it's on a slope I'm scared I'll end up stalling halfway up and my nosey neighbour would be the first one in the window which would make me feel worse.

I know I just need to get back out there get to know the car more and practice. My nerves start when I'm in the car then if the roads are steady I'm ok even in traffic I'm ok to be honest its bigger roundabouts. I used to be ok with them but once I was heading towards a roundabout slowed down to 2nd and carried on and the car jumped slightly, then on the way back home on the same roundabout the light were just changing from red so I'd dropped to second and carried on and stalled. My guess here is I should have been in first but I just felt like I didnt need first as i wasnt really stopping if that makes sense.

Forgot to add the last time I drove the car I was driving home up hill and I stopped to let a car passed as there wasn't much room and made sense for me to stop and when i started going again I stalled it numerous times and a man behind me kept beeping and swearing and I just couldn't get going I couldn't work out what I was doing wrong.

You are not alone. Have you tried approaching your instructor for a few refresher lessons.

I passed just before lockdown and have found it hard getting back into the car. I stalled on a steep hill approaching a give way junction, and when I did get out my heart was beating like crazy.

You were probably releasing the clutch too fast - I've done it myself, and the more you panic, the easier it is to do it.

Good luck.