Not sure what to think about that

[IsItWorthTheHassle]

I’m away atm (gone to see my parents I haven’t seen for 20 months). DH at home with the dcs.

We FaceTimed yesterday and Dc1 dropped in the conversation he had gone to have his covid jab today.
Dc1 is 17yo. We talked about him getting it in November (once he had turned 18yo).

I felt quite really unsettled by the whole thing.

• DH hadn’t told me about it. It seems that dc sprung that on him?
• dc was extremely evasive about it.
• I feel like dc took a decision on his own with no input from anyone but his friends (they went as a group to a walking center) which might not be suitable at his age. Even though it’s clear that he has always had the last word in the decision process iyswim.

I’m thinking that:

• I might well just be struggling to let go and let my dc take decision for himself
• dc didn’t have all the information (dc is convinced that he will get the second jab in 8 weeks - he won’t as the government guidelines are that 17yo will only get one shot)
• I’m uncomfortable about the idea that dc took a decision wo really thinking of the ins and outs. And that DH just let that slide.

So what would you think about that?

(This is not about covid btw. It could have been any other medical procedure. I would have had the same reaction)

I think that at the age of 17, it’s his decision to make, not yours. Letting go is hard at first, particularly when your children make decisions that you may feel aren’t quite the decisions that you would have made. Be happy that he’s made a sensible choice. 💐

Be proud of your son for being so responsible and independent

You said you'd talked about him getting it in November, so it's not like it was a completely out-of-the-blue decision.

But in any case - he's a few months shy of becoming an adult. Females of his age can go to the GP and start hormonal contraception without their parents knowledge, never mind their consent. How on earth is it not "suitable" for someone of that age to make those kind of decisions for themselves?

I do understand why he was evasive about it with you though...!

You should be happy he's vaccinated. Stop making it weird. He's 17, there are going to be plenty of times he makes decisions without running them by his mother.

I think at 17 it’s fine. And only 2 months before he was going to anyway. 🤷‍♀️At this rate he’ll be double jabbed by the time he’s 18 which is great.

Oh is ‘clot shot’ the latest.

I don’t think my OP was very clear.

It’s not about the covid jab. It’s about the ability to make an informed choice for any medical procedure.
And he clearly didn’t as he is convinced he’ll get both jabs within 8 weeks - he won’t.

Tbh I’m not proud of him and think he is amazing and responsible. You’re not when you take a decision because of peer pressure and ‘my friends are all doing that’ rather than from an informed POV.

This doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right decision (and as I said it was always going to be his choice at the end of the day). It’s about how the decision was made.
(As an aside, I’m vaccinated. But I did think carefully as to why I was doing it and the risk I took by doing that)

Clot shot 🤣

By 17 it's really up to him.
I was taking the pill by 17 without my parents knowledge & that gave my bigger risks of a blood clot than the COVID vaccine.

He sounds sensible to me.

He is 17 and perfectly capable of making medical decisions for himself. You need to butt out

Oh OP, it's a jab. He's 17. He's more than capable to chose on his own whether to have it or not. It's really not a big deal!

Why would it only be a single shot for under 18s? I'm sure they are being offered Moderna or Pfizer so would still need two doses as normal?

He’s 17, assuming he’s a neurotypical teenager that is old enough to make a decision for himself about what medical procedures he wants. You’re being very weird.

How do you know it’s not an informed point of view? Many adults have been confused about the vaccination process but feel informed enough to make a decision, what information do you think he needed but didn’t have access to?

The reality is at 17 he’s entitled to make choices about his health care, and to confidentiality about those decisions.

Sorry OP but he’s 17. If he wanted the vaccine then that was his choice

'Medical Proceedure' 🙄. It's a jab, not donating a kidney. He's been 'allowed' to make 'medical' decisions for himself for years now, he doesn't need your permission, nor your blessing

So what if he went with friends??

What's not suitable about a walk in centre 'at his age'?
He didn't 'spring' it on your DH, he told him.

You're being very weird about it. He's 17.

Girls are able to get contraception without their parents consent, how would you feel about that?

He’s 17, assuming he’s a neurotypical teenager that is old enough to make a decision for himself...

Interesting comment. Did you know that many 'neurodiverse' people can make their own very smart decisions. It's not always 'Rainman', believe it or not.

OP, it's done. Your DC made a conscious decision to have the jab- a jab that was going to happen in a couple of months anyway. I really wouldn't lose sleep over it.

Did you know that many 'neurodiverse' people can make their own very smart decisions. I should have placed a question mark there... sorry. Not being very neurotypical. Being thick and neurodiverse there.

At 17 he's more than capable in making an informed decision. Well done your son.

@Galassia

Can you explain what you mean by "clot shot"?

It's all a bit tin hat territory so I'd appreciate your input!