So if half of 18 years olds are going to uni, what are the other half doing ?

[Effybriest]

Not seen much discussion about options other than university. What about the young people who didn't get 3 A* in A'levels ? We are struggling to find decent apprenticeships locally and ds isn't prepared to travel for more than 45 mins on the bus . Even level 3 apprenticeships seem to be asking for work experience and one indicated that a degree would be desirable. Ds is happy at the moment but come september when his friends disappear off to uni who knows how he will feel. Is anyone else in a similar situation ?

@Effybriest - but regarding your point about his attitude compared to yours, that’s the trickier one. I know degree-less developers with generous company shares and insanely good wages- but they were genuinely passionate about what they did and spent all of their teens learning their craft.

He might spend a lot of time on the computer but if it is browsing Reddit and trawling through discords, it won’t be doing him any good.

Mine is postponing Uni for a year as she feels she's not ready & is instead doing a local college diploma course to add to her Uni points & give her a bit of breathing space so she she can decide what degree she wants to do. She's all over the place & panicking about making the wrong choice & we can see she's not ready yet too. Some of her friend are doing similar, plus some doing apprenticeships

Oh and literally everything you have described can be done remotely- he could apply for jobs, study and work from his bedroom. He’s not even limited to UK companies. He doesn’t need to commute at all. Is he aware of this?

Yeah honestly - just stay out of it - he’s an adult now and can make his own choices ! Once his friends leave and he has no money and nothing to do hopefully he will sort himself out!!

DS got an apprenticeship at 18, worked hard at it, doing well.

DD dropped out of 6th form 10 years ago (I was so worried I joined MN to seek advice). She went from fast food to call centre to higher-level clerical then moved 100s of miles to get a good civil service job -most of her peers have degrees and substantial student debt.

I’ve concluded that sometimes they take a while to decide what they want - easier for my DS who always knew.

Mine's the same - he was keen to do an apprenticeship but finding it hard to get one.
He got a B, a C and an E, and we (husband and I) are going to see if he'd do his Physics again in the Autumn resit to at least bring that grade up.

@NannyAndJohn

He's lazy, sorry.

Before Covid, an average commute would have been around 90 minutes each way.

Can I ask what your source is for that completely made up statistic please? Because the most recent survey I found said the average was just over a hour, with that being hugely skewed by London travel times (even those weren't 90 mins!) and half the regions being significantly under. www.sme-news.co.uk/new-survey-reveals-large-regional-differences-in-workers-commuting-experience/

My commute before covid was 5 minutes so I suppose you're saying there were a lot of people doing three hours each way to balance people like me out....

Sorry I missed part of your post.

I agree with others, stay out of it for now at least & see how things pan out once his friends disappear off to Uni etc.

My daughter has explained that she knows this is the last time she gets to spend with all of her friends together, for a long time at least. So she wants to prioritise seeing her friends whilst she still can, especially given long lockdowns & how hard the pandemic has been on them. She knows she needs to buckle down when they've gone, but for now she doesn't want to think about it.

We realised we needed to cut her some slack, she won't look for summer work, or even make much effort with her pre course work, but she did agree to doing a course, or finding work & chose a course.

Maybe try a compromise & agree that he gets to spend his last summer with his friends, & you'll back off, if he at least looks at his options & chooses something to fill his time with aim to leading to work once his friends have gone & you'll help him with applying now & then he can forget about it for a while

My ds who has autism is doing a supported internship. He got a C and an E at A level. Beset by a huge mental health crash, severe depression, had to abandon 1 A level completely. We are just grateful he's alive tbh.

If no job comes out of the internship I think we'll look at taking his 3rd A level in a year maybe and do some life skills training.

Software development rewards initiative, get-up-and-go and drive. Juniors are hired all the time based on self-taught skills or after succeeding at coding bootcamps. There are plenty of roles and plenty of companies willing to support a junior with drive.

Saying you 'want' to code, a middling attempt at GCSE computer science (which won't include much in the way of web, unfortunately) and a refusal to travel is not going to cut the mustard there. But the opportunity is there if he ever wakes up and is willing to grab it.

If his dad lets him live there rent-free that's a shame, and he might never learn. The only thing that'll kick him up the arse now is a dose of cold, penniless reality like needing to pay rent or moving out and having some bills.

@IchHabeSiebenFlowers ds got his E in physics too, hated it but the Sixth form college didn’t give him any other choices like a btec. Wouldn’t listen to me sadly.
I think he’s head in the sand rather than lazy, very much lacks confidence and is frightened of failure. Has learning issues which were challenging and not well supported at the sixth form college. I’ll keep out at the moment. Agree he needs to experience life without his friends and any money. Not sure his dad will tolerate an unemployed son moping around. Ironically his dad has an excellent work ethic.

There is little in the way of central search sites for apprenticeships.
This one offers some good advice and guidance; www.allaboutschoolleavers.co.uk/jobs/apprenticeships
With apprenticeships you need to be proactive. He needs to write his CV and letter of application, then just apply to businesses - ask if they have apprenticeship places. My experience (sixth form roles) has shown they like soft skills and a ‘go-getter’ attitude. He will need to display that, an apprenticeship is unlikely to drop into his lap (unfortunately!). I’m not suggesting he’s lazy, it’s just a very different process than the central ness of UCAS.
If his school has access or if he can get it, unifrog (www.unifrog.org/) is also an excellent source.
Not sure where you’re based, this is on in November and he may like to go (nas.vfairs.com/). I’d advise going as if it’s an interview, he never knows who he will meet and what opportunities they may want to offer him. I’d keep an eye out for similar fairs in early 2022, if he hasn’t found anything before then.
Happy to help with more specifics if you would like

That's great @The6thQueen thank you ! And all the other advice !

I’ll also go against the grain and suggest you don’t stay out of it. Yes, he’s an adult, but he’s a very young adult and, by your own admission, lacks confidence - as so many teenagers do.
I don’t advocate doing it all for him, but encouragement to be proactive, setting aside time to search with him, gentle pushing to write letters etc. will not do any long term harm to his independence.

Quite frankly if the jobs are 1.4 hours away he needs to get off his arse and travel. He’s being pathetic

Don't despair, he needs your support and to know its not the end of the world.
DS was due to do A levels at a college that closed down just before the start of the new term, throwing him into turmoil as he felt forced to take A levels at Sixth Form in school, where he had never really thrived. As a result he failed one completely and his Uni offer was withdrawn.
After a really turbulent year bitting and bobbing with various jobs and no direction, he did an Access course which he absolutely smashed, and went to Uni, two years later than his peers, but at a time that was right for him - more mature, more able to make good decisions.
He grew up immensely in that time. Maybe that's what's needed in your case too.

@Sarahlou252 thanks for that. Agree that he just needs to grow up. Going to sixth form college has made him more independent and was a massively positive thing for him, he didn't really know anyone there, had to make new friends, use public transport etc but then being in lockdown was a setback in many ways particularly with regards to face to face academic support.

Have you checked out the Kickstart scheme? It's brilliant and gives young people valuable paid work experience. jobhelp.campaign.gov.uk/government-services/kickstart-scheme

Have you looked at: careerfinder.ucas.com/jobs/it/apprenticeship/

Grades don’t matter - my autistic DP who flunked all exams (and somehow managed to get into uni) is a shit hot programmer :) so am I and I didn’t do a comp sci degree.

There are a lot of degree apprenticeships in the field - if you google the providers themselves they can direct you to employers.

HOWEVER tech is a very much self starting job - lots of hustle to get foot in the door through non traditional means and constant learning even for graduates and juniors. Has he got a GitHub portfolio that he can show recruiters?

Also to add - you say he loves coding - what has he built? If he codes unprompted that’s a very good step

Plenty of people who love their computers/gaming who can’t code their way out of a paper bag…

@TractorsAndHeadphones not sure re GitHub, will check never heard of it

Also am happy to give further advice etc if you dm me :)