Declining a job offer

[DoItAfraid]

Hi posting here for traffic. I have had a series of interviews with 2 employers and I have been offered the job by both.

I now need to decline one. The one I wish to decline involves quite a pushy recruiter who is coming across as though her life depends on me taking this job offer. The offer was a good offer - the person who would be my manager was very pleasant as were all the people I met in the process.

But for other reasons - better pay offer, better commute, I would like to take the other offer.

I need to decline the offer today - thinking about it is making me anxious and stressed - and I don't want to enter into a negotiation of any sort eg getting them to match the higher salary etc. That is not what I am after.

Please help me to write something polite and respectful of the time they have invested in the process so far - it's just not the job I want to take at this point.

Also feel free to tell me to stop being such a people pleaser and just own my decisions.

You're over thinking it. First thing - accept the other job. Get confirmation in writing and ideally a draft of your contract. Secondly phone the recruiter, tell them you're ACCEPTED another role and thank them for their time. If they ask why keep it general say they're both great roles but the one you've taken felt like a better fit.

It's the same vague answers they'd give you if you hadn't been the chosen candidate. And don't worry about upsetting the recruiter, it's their job and I bet they'll have a second candidate option or a pile of CVs to fill the role. They just want an answer.

Absolutely confirm the job you want first and get it in writing before you tell the recruiter that you’ve accepted elsewhere

You're overthinking this OP, you really are. Get your job offer in writing for the job you intend to take, and email or call the recruiter to tell them to thank 'x' for the offer but you have accepted a role elsewhere. You need not answer or state anything else, you don't work for her, she I'd also just doing her job and will have many other candidates on the go other than you. The job market is busy. In the nicest possible way she is unlikely to give two hoots.

If you need more time simply tell them thankyou and that you will get back to her with a decision by the end of the week.

Either is perfectly normal and reasonable etiquette. Well done you on two successful interviews though, that is something to really feel good about! Congratulations on the new role.

Hi I have accepted the offer I want and they are in the process of doing the background checks. The first DBS clearance has already come through.

Do you think it is now ok to let the other one know now that i won't be accepting.

I have no need to hang on to the 2nd offer as I am actually currently employed - if it doesnt work out with preferred option I will just continue in my current job.

Thank you for all the advice and kind comments as well - very much appreciated.

Dear Pushy,

I have now accepted a position elsewhere and will not be accepting the job offer with XXX company.

Thank you for your help.
Best wishes, MOI