Anyone else have a year 11 who has no idea what they want to do for A level and beyond?

[Pikkun]

Dd4 has no favourite subjects, no passions apart from riding her horse, who she loves and is very committed to (looks after him herself). She's a grade 5/6/7 student. She's my youngest after three quite ambitious kids and is the only one who at this stage has no clue about what she'd like to do in the future. She wanted to do art at the beginning of year but gave it up. She's hugely self conscious so refuses to do anything drama ish

She moved to a private school in year 9 and if I'm being honest it's been OK, but being with lots of high achievers isn't doing her much good. I think she lacks confidence in everything except sport which she's pretty good at

She's a really thoughtful person and very funny, good company and always very even handed, not judgemental

I'm going to let her work things out herself, but just wondered if anyone had similarly unambitious kids!

Yes for sure, I've totally been there. It's a tricky age, it's such a wide world out there but their experience at school is comparatively narrow, so while some find their 'thing' at school, a lot just have no idea at this age. There are so many jobs and career pathways that could be perfect for them they have no idea even exist!

It doesn't help that a lot of the careers/life advice for teens can tend towards 'find your passion', 'do what you enjoy', 'follow your dreams' which, while not bad advice per se, if their passion or enjoyment comes from something not very academic or which doesn't have an obvious career path attached like sport or horses (I also had a horsey teen so feel your pain there!) it's very difficult for them to translate that into decisions/motivation that relate to school/college/the immediate future, and it can make them feel a bit at sea. I think there's a lot to be said for simply keeping your options open at this stage, so if she's reasonably academic and doesn't have a strong preference for one subject over another, picking the ones she thinks will get her good grades and open up a range of uni/apprenticeship/job options to her is a perfectly valid choice. She may well find her ambition further down the line in something she hadn't even considered at this stage.

If it helps my kids are a bit older now and looking at them and their friend groups, I don't think there's a correlation in terms of early ambition and eventual 'success'/happiness - some of the ones that knew they wanted to be a doctor when they were 5 or whatever have done that and loved it, but equally some have ended up disillusioned and changed path. Of the more 'drifty' group some have ended up identifying a real passion or talent at uni or even later, a few perhaps have gone down paths their parents wouldn't have chosen for them (some of my DD's horsey friends have chosen to go into equestrian careers which as you doubtless know are hard work and badly paid, but they seem to still be enjoying themselves, one's an instructor at the school they learnt at and one works in equine tourism), and some to be honest have always drifted and done low-ish level, badly paid, not a 'proper career' kind of work but have found enjoyment elsewhere from their relationships or their hobbies or whatever. I guess what I'm saying is that much as they might feel A Level choices and results are life and death at this age, there's so much of life ahead of them they really have all the flexibility in the world, and it's sometimes better to embrace that rather than send yourself down a rigid path just because that's what you think is expected of you.

I would say though that if maybe her current school isn't quite embracing that 'free spirit' attitude, would she consider going elsewhere for A levels? that might help her find a bit of 'spark' if she can be with more like minded people?

If her passion is sport and horses then go down that route? It might not be the best paid job in the world but i think it's better to do something you love than something you hate. When I was that age I never knew what I wanted to do (25yrs later I'm still not enirely sure!) so I did A-levels in the subjects I was good at and enjoyed and ended up with a degree in one of them because that's very much the road my school sent me down.

Are there any studio schools in your area?

I’ve no idea as to qualifications but she sounds lovely. As she’s into her riding has considered volunteering for something like this?

www.rda.org.uk/

It might help her build her confidence.

Thank you!
@Ghosttile she doesn't really have time as she has two of her own to look after. She did help at junior pony camp this summer and loved it and had lots of compliments about how kind and helpful she was. She finds compliments annoying though or seems to!

@AnxiousAndUnraveling I don't think so.

@maxelly thank you. I am keeping an open mind about the sixth form but she went to the private school on a sports scholarship and part of the contract was that we had to stay for 6th form. I mean she doesn't hate it there, it's just very high achieving and wealthy and I think she feels a bit poor relation.