Disastrous interview for very much wanted job

[BeautyQueenFromMars]

I've just left an interview for a job I really, really want. It did not go well. My mind went completely blank on a couple of the questions and as soon as I left I thought of all the great answers I could have given. Argh!

Nobody knows I've gone for the job, hence me posting on here rather than talking to family or friends.

Any funny stories or bad jokes you'd be willing to share to take my mind off it please?

I had an interview where they asked me what seven words I’d use to describe myself. I was flagging a bit by the end and went with “brunette.” I did not get the job.

I was observing a teaching interview this year and part way through the interviewee tripped over the 2m safety tape on the floor. I felt it was unprofessional for me to laugh but am a terrible giggle. Had I laughed at the time it’d have probably been okay. As it was I had to fake sneezing fits every few minutes to cover my laughter whenever I remembered it !

My friend was asked in an interview whether she knew anything about welfare benefits and she said no not really. After the interview she said 'oh shit I've just remembered I wrote a book on it!'

I also once interviewed someone for a job who seemed quite drunk. He'd come down on the train from Scotland and appeared to have spent some time in the bar. He smelt of booze, was slurring and not making much sense. When my very pretty colleague took him out of the room to say goodbye at the reception he leaned in and tried to snog her.

Worst interview ever, I was sick in their bin. During the interview.

It came out of nowhere. I grabbed the waste paper basket and it all just came out.

Turns out I was 5 weeks pregnant and it was the start of 8 months of HG. I had no idea I was pregnant.

They looked horrified.

I didn’t get the job.

I forgot about another candidate which came via an agency. Interviewed her, clearly not right and off she went.

An hour later, reception say she is back and wants to speak to me. She requested we pay for her travel to and from or site, and also tried doing a backhanded deal to cut the agency out and for her to get hired directly my me! UUUmmm, NO!

You never know. I left one interview and burst into tears in the street. But... I got it!

@user1493423934

Oh god. I had a nightmare interview a while ago a recruitment consultant had put me for. it was going horribly - it was clear they needed someone with completely different skills to me. I have no idea why I was put forward for the job at all, as I could clearly not do it. So I was stuffing up left right and centre, then the question:

Scary Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I can do Bohemian Rhapsody, ha ha ha!

To this day I can still not believe I said that. Safe to say Scary Interviewer was not amused. Neither did the recruitment consultant unfortunately.

Oh god I’m howling here - I’d have given you top marks for quick thinking and originiality!!

I've just heard I've got an interview (my first in many years, after a very long career break) this week. I should not be reading this thread.

When i was 17/18 i interviewed for new look and they asked me what kind of fashion i liked, and i couldnt think of anything trendy, and i said i liked skirts like this and drew an triangle in the air...i meant a-line. and they werent in even in fashion at the time.

More recently though, I've had another job rejection this morning. I've had 3 interviews recently where I left feeling like i'd nailed it and still got rejected! There's no way of knowing how it's gone. I was 110% sure i'd gotten this one too, but oh well.

@user1493423934

Oh god. I had a nightmare interview a while ago a recruitment consultant had put me for. it was going horribly - it was clear they needed someone with completely different skills to me. I have no idea why I was put forward for the job at all, as I could clearly not do it. So I was stuffing up left right and centre, then the question:

Scary Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I can do Bohemian Rhapsody, ha ha ha!

To this day I can still not believe I said that. Safe to say Scary Interviewer was not amused. Neither did the recruitment consultant unfortunately.

Brilliant 😂😂

More recently though, I've had another job rejection this morning. I've had 3 interviews recently where I left feeling like i'd nailed it and still got rejected! There's no way of knowing how it's gone. I was 110% sure i'd gotten this one too, but oh well.

Hang in there! I left uni in a recession and sat in so many interviews which I'm sure I'd have been a decent candidate for had the competition not been so tough. It's all good practice. Even if it is SO DEMORALISING. I interview people quite regularly and am always happy to have a follow up call after the initial rejection to give some detailed feedback.

I was asked by line manager to tell me about your day as a way of settling interview nerves for promotion within the company ... couldn’t think what I did.. had the piss taken out of me for weeks. Shit happens.

I was once on an interview panel where the candidate we were interviewing vomited all over the table, then promptly fainted.

We hired him (after rescheduling the interview, obviously).

@ReeseWitherfork

More recently though, I've had another job rejection this morning. I've had 3 interviews recently where I left feeling like i'd nailed it and still got rejected! There's no way of knowing how it's gone. I was 110% sure i'd gotten this one too, but oh well.

Hang in there! I left uni in a recession and sat in so many interviews which I'm sure I'd have been a decent candidate for had the competition not been so tough. It's all good practice. Even if it is SO DEMORALISING. I interview people quite regularly and am always happy to have a follow up call after the initial rejection to give some detailed feedback.

Thankyou, it's so tough out there right now, for years I had 100% track record of 1 application, 1 interview, 1 job offer and now i'm just stuck.

I went to an interview yesterday where they sent all the questions in advance. It was bliss. Plainly a company that prioritise getting the BEST answer a candidate can give than the best they can come up with spontaneously.

But all that goes around my head is one tiny bit I didn't feel like I gave as full an answer as possible... Not all the questions I answered well.

@FlowerArranger

I take it you'll be writing to thank you for granting you the interview? This is your opportunity to BRIEFLY explain your mental lapse.

On a serious note, do this! Do it now! I used to interview lots of people and, unless the post required people to be good orators, I would take any information submitted after the interview into account and be impressed you’d made the effort.

I sat in on a terrible interview years ago. A soon-to-be graduate who steered every question back to their impeccable woke credentials and just couldn’t seem to see how badly the interview was going. The chap leading the interview let her dig herself into a huge hole over her environmental principles before saying something along the lines of “the average graduate will amass around 30,000 air miles in their first year here. How will you reconcile that with your environmental principles”. She went bright red and mumbled something about compensating through her other life choices. She was shockingly naive, but I did feel very sorry for her. It was obvious she was a poor fit for the job, but he was unnecessarily cruel about it.

I once interviewed a man in his mid 50s.
I asked him how he saw the role developing in the next 5 years. He said he hoped to be retiring by then so it wouldn’t be his problem.
Apparently he was just looking for something to tide him over for a year or two - this was a major management role with budget responsibilities etc.

I hope you’re okay, it’s the worst when that happens. I had a bad interview a few years ago and I still cringe about the utter bollocks I sprouted! It’s a cliché but what is for you will come to you. A better job will be around the corner and at least you’ve got some practice in. I think the first interview in a while is always the worst.

Be kind to yourself tonight- movie you like, chocolate, nice drink etc. Even though it feels like you failed today, you still applied, had a good application, went and had a go. There’s lots of positives to take away from today.

Also a funny one:

Applied to be in the police. Cruised through the first round, made it through the second role-play round so all that was left was the physical. At this point I was slim and looked ‘fit’ but I was the perfect example of skinny fat. Went to the practice session and it looked ok. Could do everything (just about). Went to the actual examination a few months later. Missed out by 3 seconds. All good, they reschedule you if you fail once- came down with a chest infection and at that point I let them know I wouldn’t be coming and that was that (they didn’t really let you reschedule for the second round).

I was actually glad I had a valid reason I couldn’t go back and try again. After the first round I spent about 20 minutes in the bathroom nearly being sick and couldn’t even drive home for about an hour afterwards because I felt so ill 😂. So I was sat down the road from the police barracks wheezing in the car holding my handbag open in case I was sick.

Mortified.

@user1493423934

Oh god. I had a nightmare interview a while ago a recruitment consultant had put me for. it was going horribly - it was clear they needed someone with completely different skills to me. I have no idea why I was put forward for the job at all, as I could clearly not do it. So I was stuffing up left right and centre, then the question:

Scary Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I can do Bohemian Rhapsody, ha ha ha!

To this day I can still not believe I said that. Safe to say Scary Interviewer was not amused. Neither did the recruitment consultant unfortunately.

No you didn't. This is a well known meme

I was all dressed up in suit etc for final round interview for a graduate role. Walked there and on the way got shat on by a bird…all down my hair, ears and onto suit jacket.

Arrived in a bit of a state. The lovely HR lady hid my jacket, found tissues and a comb and I cleaned up in time for my interview (minus jacket).

I got the job.

@DelurkingAJ well they do say that’s lucky!!!

I had an interview recently, my first since I changed jobs and my current employer has an unusual approach towards giving references, so I thought I would explain at the end of an interview as it can take a bit longer to arrange, having done a few recruitments in my time it's something I'd like a heads up about, and as it was just the HR rep and line manager on the Zoom call.

The interviewer looked at me like I suggested she eat her own shit and said incredulously "Have you ever been through a recruitment process before? We would only ever take up references from someone we intended giving the job to".

So that was that.

"what is for you will come to you"

This x100! I really believe it and it's served me well. I still hope you get it though OP.

I interviewed for what I thought was my dream job, I am never usually nervous in interviews but this was a panel of five who were clearly determined to intimidate and I just turned to jelly, couldn't remember the name of our industries governing bodies, and forgot to mention my 5 year experience in the area they were looking for. I actually laughed as I left the room, so hideous was it.
I didn't get the job, and later found out it had been vacant for SEVEN YEARS. I wonder why...

More recently I interviewed with a temp of 39C and the shivers from my covid vaccine. I can't remember the interview at all and one of the panel advised I go straight to bed afterwards. I got the job.

I turned up sweating, bright red and with a stitch for one interview. My bus didn’t turn up for ages and I had to run from the bus station to the hospital I was being interviewed at so that I wasn’t late. Then go up two flights of stairs, the lovely ward sister gave me two glasses of water. Got the job.

I have a zoom interview in a couple of days and I was the job so, so much. Dreading it.