I hate myself

[Hopeless2]

I'm so Ugley. I literally have 8 teeth I'm slowly getting something done about that. Having implants done. But its taking me a very long time to save. But it is in the pipe line .

I'm also obese. My bmi is 32. Unless there is a heath issue have to have a bmi of over 50 to get a gastric band. I did find one on line say they are licenced to give a gastric band to people who have a bmi of 30 or over . But I could only find that one. So I'm not sure if I belive it .

I have tired to make changes to my diet but it just always feels hopeless. There is so much information out there . Don't eat carbs, don't eat this, do eat this. have 1800 calories no have 1200 calories. Although I know I would still need to change how I eat even with a gastric band. But I just feel like it would be such a helpful tool

I hate myself so much. I don't shave my legs . I hardly wash or brush my hair. It often ends up matted at the back I just put it up and hide the matted bit with other bits of my hair . I probably only bath once every 3 weeks.

I just hate myself so much.

Counselling about how I feel about myself won't help as it does not change what I look like.

I am very sorry to hear that you are feeling this way.
I don't know the answer, but maybe you can take small steps?
Have a shower and shave, or wash your hair?
Sorry, I couldn't help, but hope you feel better soon.

Have you considered you may be suffering from depression?

@Needapoodle

Have you considered you may be suffering from depression?

Probably but I know its because of how I feel about myself

Set an alarm

Get in the shower, wash and dry your hair. Don’t worry about shaving- it doesn’t matter.

That will be a start.

Go have such negative feelings about yourself is an indication that you are u well and most likely would feel that way even if you lost weight and your teeth were fixed.

Lack of self care does indicate that your mind is unwell and you may be suffering with depression or similar.

You must t feel ashamed or embarrassed about the not washing or taking care of yourself as it is a symptom of being unwell.

You may be helped by taking medication that your GP or referral to a mental health clinic can determine what will help you best.

^ TO have not Go

rather than getting bogged down in the differences between advice in different diets, just try choosing one you think you will enjoy, and sticking to that one for a few weeks

Could you do something like Weight Watchers?

Sounds like it’s all become a horrible viscous cycle of self loathing and self neglect.

I really think you need to visit the GP to get some help with how you are feeling. I’m sure you’ll get lots of advice on here such as shower every day, get a hair cut etc. to help you feel better but I think you sound like you could do with a bit of support first. You don’t need to tackle this alone or feel ashamed it’s what the GP is there to help with and you deserve to feel better.

Sounds like you're depressed.

Self hatred and not washing are the first things I notice when I am having a bad time. They're the canary in the mine, so to speak.

Other people feel this way from time to time, and I promise you it can and does pass. But in the mean time you need to take care of yourself.

This probably means going to the GP first of all, force yourself.

You can do it!

People on here keep saying it's depressipn yes it is but isn't at the same time . I know myself really well and I know I only feel this way because of how I look. If I did not look how I do I would not feel this way I know that for a fact.

I hope you find encouragement here but you badly need to go to your GP. The wonderful members of this forum are largely not qualified to do more than support you.
Please show your GP this message, ask for help. Good luck.

@Hopeless2

People on here keep saying it's depressipn yes it is but isn't at the same time . I know myself really well and I know I only feel this way because of how I look. If I did not look how I do I would not feel this way I know that for a fact.

I understand what you’re saying. I know you are saving for your dental implants which is great do you see this as the biggest thing that makes you hate how you look?

I’m sorry but I have known people who have said exactly what you have said and have lost the weight/had their teeth done/facelift/nose job etc etc and still feel crap about themselves and often get fixated on another lady of their appearance once they have had the initial perceived problems with their appearance ‘sorted out’.

Depression comes in many forms. What you have described is definitely depression. I am now on mirtazapine because I did and have done all the things you have described. Please see your GP. I promise it will help. Show them a screen shot of your OP. You are not alone.

@SnarkyBag. The teeth are a big part of it. But im on the way to sorting them out . The dentist showed me in the mirror what it will look like. I felt like a Weight had been lifted I felt really emotional that my teeth can look normal. So there is light at the end of the tunnel for that.

The next thing is the weight.

Why don’t you get some dentures fitted while you’re going through the longer process ? I have lost loads of my teeth through illness and can’t have implants - it will really help you in short term

Yew I'm being fitted for temporary tentures whilst I wait for the implants.

That’s great that you feel there is light at the end of the tunnel. Why do you feel that you can’t change other aspects of your appearance that bother you before you’re teeth are done? Does it feel that without the dental work everything else won’t make a difference to how you look so what’s the point?

I’m about to embark on some dental work I’m excited about the end result but know it could be up to two years away before it’s complete but it has been a motivation to give everything else a bit of a makeover whilst I wait.
Do you have a timeline for saving and getting the work done? Do you think have a clear end goal and time would help motivate you to give your whole self a bit of well deserved self care?

In the nicest possible way you are deluding yourself is you think once your appearance has changed that a magic wand will somehow have been waves and you will feel terrific.

Of course there will be initial elation at what you see and feel is an improvement to how you look and you may feel more confident.

But it’s not lasting and you may start to feel miserable and sad again and focus on another part of your appearance or even your personality because you don’t feel clever/interesting/amusing enough.

When you are u well with depression it warps your feelings and emotions and it doesn’t matter if you just win the lottery or had a Make over to look like a supermodel, inside you will still feel bad about yourself.

Fix your mind first and the you will find that you are better equipped to manage your weight loss and become fit and healthy.

you dont have to be super thin to be beautiful.

go to a hairdresser have some nice cut, blow dry.

do some make up, i bet you will feel a lot better.

It's definitely not depression. If you basically have no teeth your over weight then I should think that is enough to make you feel depressed. But its not depression in its self that has made me feel this way

Really sorry you're feeling this way OP
I know a few obese women who look after themselves and look absolutely beautiful and are very attractive.
Once you have your teeth done it will make you feel better, teeth can have a massive impact on appearance. Then take it from there