Can anyone put my mind at rest about having a third child?

[Misp]

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with dc3 and it has sent me into a complete panic. I have two dc 18 months apart who are now 6&4 and I have absolutely loved being mum to two. All I can think about is the ‘chaos’ everyone talks about with 3 and I’m genuinely starting to feel like I can’t cope with the prospect of being totally overwhelmed and what that might mean my two dc suffer or miss out on. Is it always so hard? Really struggling with it all this evening.

I honestly found the third child just slotted right in if that makes sense.
I wouldn't worry about things now you have plenty of time to get used to the idea.
Your children will be similar ages that mine were when the third was born and they were great little helpers.

A friend with 2 said that she found 1 to 2 kids so difficult but 2 to 3 not much different. She was always busy, knackered etc so there wasn't much difference 😂 She had 3 under 5.

I found going from 1 to 2 very hard so I don't think I'd do well with a third but I can see where my friend is coming from. Good luck I'm sure baby will slot in well 🤞🏻

It is harder in a way, there are at best two adults on three children - you are outnumbered.

But you know what you are doing with a baby. The baby will slot in. And that extra little chaos is actually lovely.

I’ve got 3 and yes it is hard work as there is extra washing, mess, organisation etc….but he slotted in really well and the baby stage was a joy. All children are hard work… you just prolong the baby/ toddler years a bit longer.
You do have less time for each child but I don’t think that’s a bad thing… children learn to be slightly more self sufficient.
It’s chaotic yes, but full of laughter, love and fun.
I’m definitely done with my 3 but I’d definitely do it again!!
You’ve made the right decision! Enjoy your pregnancy and the good times to come!

I found going from 1 to 2 harder. Of course it's busier but you are definitely more relaxed and go with the flow by the third!

My 3rd just slotted right in. As a pp said, 1-2 was harder than 2-3, and all 3 of mine love each other so much (now all between 9 and 4)
Its really fun, good chaos. As in, all 3 want to sit on my lap at once, or all 3 want to hold my hand but I only have 2 hands. Or all 3 want to snuggle in my bed at once. They play nicely together, they share treats and snacks, my eldest helps my youngest when he needs it. Its loud, but happy loud. Messy, but messy with their shared games. I have 2 girls and 1 boy and there is no way I would want 2 after having had 3- I would add another but DH isn't on board so 3 it is for now.

Thank you for the kind replies. You’ve made me cry but it’s helped!

Best decision ever- wouldn’t have it any other way! It is tiring and chaotic but imagine two would’ve been similar. I’ve got a similar age gap and it’s been great.

My two sons were both a month off turning 6 and 4 when their baby sister was born. She has slotted right in and completed our family. They absolutely adore her and the dynamic is brilliant. The boys are still very close (squabbling too obviously) - but she has just made them into a great little trio. DD (now 2) is obsessed with her brothers and has thrived so much being around them, especially because they’ve spent so much time together in lockdown.
Of course some of it is utter chaos, our house is never tidy, no matter how hard I try, and I am always dealing with someone- but honestly, it is the best decision we have ever made, hands down. Good luck!

Moving from 1 to 2 was def harder
As others have said, the 3rd just slotted right in, like he'd always been here.
Also you're more experienced and confident which helps so much.

I wasn't planning 3 but what a welcome surprise! My other 2 were a similar age to yours and were delighted and helpful too when the 3rd was a baby! Having 3 was honestly the best thing that could have happened and I wouldn't have changed it for anything. Congratulations and I'm sure it will all work out for you.

It's better. They all entertain each other while I get on with things. They are a fantastic little team. 3 is the perfect number.

I have three teens but it is lovely (mostly). There are lots to play cards, board games etc. Even if one doesn't want to join in, the other probably will. The relationships are perhaps less intense than with two children.

OP do you want people to say it will all be ok or have you considered other options?

Sorry to be blunt but your original thread didn't say whether you want to continue with this pregnancy (as just discovered)?

My experience is that "number 3" is an absolute game-changer - for good and bad.

It breaks up the "family dynamic" (that you have) and makes the "easy to go to" 2.2 kids options hard - think holidays, bedrooms, finances, car seats etc..

It creates a "middle child" - who can (not always) feel neglected and it means that your eldest becomes a babysitter (or extra care giver) to your second and third.

These are very personal observations based on experience - no doubt I'll be slammed by those who can make it work, but trying to be honest too.

Whatever you decide it will be right because it will be meant to be - best of wishes

Mine were 6 and 7 when the third little one came along and it was brilliant. I appreciate that mine are a bit older but they were so helpful and curious and in love, they wanted to join in with feeding solids etc and bottles when he started on them, loved choosing what he was going to wear for the day, would sit and play with him for hours when they weren’t at school, reading him stories, finding him toys and showing him how they banged together and made different noises… they just adored him and were like extra little mums!
It must have been hard in so many ways but I genuinely don’t remember how or why now looking back. I think it helped that the older ones slept through properly from about age 1 so when the baby woke up in the night it was only him waking.
Congratulations

3rd one just fit in for me, added bonus of having done it twice before meant I wasn't so baffled by everything, and the elder 2 will help you more than you realise. Mine were 7 and 2 when DC3 came along, DD1 at 7 was a huge help with stuff!

The third child has the best place. They gets loads of entertainment without being the center of attention. All the routines are already established so there's way less stress.