Teens going out

[clairebear31]

I have 1 girl 17 and 1 boy 14 years old. I’m just worrying as they both haven’t been out much with friends lately. The eldest has been out at least once a week and does work part time too. Youngest hasn’t met up with mates at all. I just keep worrying that they should be more social? I don’t let them go hanging around street corners or drinking in fields etc and they’re both pretty good kids. Considerate. They come for days out they like and holidays and see family and sports hobbies. Just wondering what others teens are like? Thank you

My 16 year old dd barely goes out. But then again she has been isolating for about a month with a few days break in between. She started one of these NCS programmes, gave it up after 2 days as she said it was awful then one of the people she had been with in the group tested positive and they all had to isolate for ten days. Apart from a week away with us she has not been out anywhere since school finished for her on June 18th. I do worry.

It’s hard isn’t it as I don’t want them out drinking etc but I think seeing friends etc is important. Your right the last year we’ve had has made things worse I think

Some people are home bodies. I am, my husband is and, surprise, surprise, so are our kids

I really wouldn’t worry (especially at 14). The reverse problem would be much harder to deal with.

Yes I know things could be a lot worse!!

Hi, I have an older child who was like that, but they are just fine, they have friends, go out sometimes and very much looking forward to university. As long as your child is happy, accept them for who they are and try to trust that they know what suits them.

I encourage mine (16) to go out - I'd say she's seen friends about 3 times per week this summer. But I'd rather she was hanging around on street corners or drinking in fields at the moment, when the alternative is indoor activities where she's much more likely to contract Covid!

You can't have it both ways: complain they don't go out but dictate what they should or shouldn't do if they do go out. Teens like hanging about in groups in fields etc. They're not all up to no good when they're doing it either. It's a fairly normal way for them to socialise.

DD16 is out a lot, at least 4 times a week, often more. She just doesn't enjoy being at home doing nothing, she found the first lockdown incredibly hard. She's very social and loves being with people, her sister is very different, quieter and a real home body.

There's a real split in her friendship group of those who go out and some of them that just don't seem to have hardly left the house since they all finished their exams. They are happy to spend their days at home.

They do hang around parks etc but I meant at 10pm at night!! Not during the day that’s fine. I need to take a chill pill really

DS(17) has been out most evenings (after 6 till about 11). He basically has a group of friends where whoever is free meets up and they hang around in the park or wander between areas where they can sit down. Sometimes they also get food and drink.

DD(15) tends to go for more organised meet-ups but she's met up three times in the last week (one birthday gathering; one casual wander; one mooch around town). I'd say she'd normally do stuff 3-5 days a week.

They are not really interested in doing family things, so I expect them to have lots of plans with friends.

I've found with a 17 year old that now lots of them have jobs that they are meeting in the evening because it's the time that there's more chance they will be free. Possibly you need to accept that hanging around at night is the way this age group socialise?

Dd1 17 is mostly busy working, she occasionally meets up with friends in the daytime or a birthday gathering with a can of cider. Dd2 15 goes for walks or to game or binge watch tv shows with friends every three weeks or so. Very rarely evenings.