Suddenly find kids & DH boring

[midlandsmum2]

Hi

Wonder if anyone has any ideas

Basically been through awfulL
Time at work. Was bullied but resolves a fortnight ago. Having hypnotherapy but come off anxiety meds now.

Anyway just been hit with this feeding of finding Dh and kids (3 age 6-12) boring

Like I just want to be on my own at weekend or see my friends on my own. Can't be bothered reading bedtime story and slacking on chores like sweeping floor ans organising ply dates

Is this just recovery from the mental
Exhaustion or something else ? Bir worried I've changed and might just run off and abandon them, hoping it's response to psychological fatigue (was hospitalised with stress in June)

Thanks foe any ideas

Sounds like a response to all you've been through 💐

Could be lots of things tbh. I think monitoring your mood in some way would be a good idea. If you start to feel worse you'll be better placed to say to a professional that usually I like to do X but I havent wanted to since Y.

Sounds a bit like burnout to me. I'd cut back on as much unnecessary stuff as you can fit the next few months, and carve out some more time for yourself.

Thanks hadn't considered burnout or monitoring mood

Just a bit taken aback as not had this before

Experience completely wrecked my self esteem and caused a huge amount of stress. Anxiety sleepless nights. Maybe this is my mind trying to recover or something

Definitely sounds like burnout to me. You need to take some down time for yourself and recover from the stress you've been experiencing

Do you exercise OP? I've found it exceptionally good for my mood when burned out.

@halfhope yes I got swimming x3 per week and walk 10-15k steps a day

You do sound mentally exhausted. You sound like you need a break to recharge your batteries.

You sound very fit then OP so it's not the need for endorphins. Sounds like you need a break or a new personal challenge rather than a work challenge. I feel for you. Could you spend a few days with a friend at the other side of the country for a change of scenery or a few days at a hotel on your own?

Like I just want to be on my own at weekend or see my friends on my own. Can't be bothered reading bedtime story and slacking on chores like sweeping floor ans organising ply dates

That sounds absolutely sodding normal to me and I haven't had anything like as horrendous an experience as you have. Do you ever GET to spend time on your own, spend time with your own friends? How many times a week does your DH read a bedtime story, sweep the floor or organise a play date, honestly?

do you do yoga op? It might be good for you to try as it will help deal with the stress and help reconnect you to the important things.

I wouldn't add any new personal challenges when you've been so stressed. I'd just follow your instincts - if you're craving time alone with friends, prioritise that, as it's a healthy thing that is probably what your brain and body need right now.

I think it’s exhaustion. When I was trying to have my son diagnosed with autism (I knew something was wrong but nobody would listen) going through months of paperwork and appointments etc, I remember sometimes I would get school run, dinner, bath, bedtime over, flop on the couch and think ‘better get ready to do it again tomorrow.’ It just felt like Groundhog Day and I couldn’t be bothered with the total monotony anymore.

It helped me to try and set aside some time for me - sometimes it was only 10 minutes reading. It always reminded me of the episode of The Middle where Frankie takes a 15 minute ‘vacation’ in her work toilets! Sometimes it’s hard for mums especially to get any time to themselves I think. It’s really good that you’re doing therapy though, I bet that will make the difference too. Hope you get some time to relax and rest.

Thanks for all the replies

Found a pool/ gym today that will allow kids to go in climbing soft play alone for 90m while I go to pool.

Weird being like this when I wasn't before. Was worrying maybe I'd just got bored of being a parent but must just be a reaction to exhaustion and my body telling me to preserve myself or something

Some great ideas

Further to my point above - it's great that the kids will be getting some good, healthy fun while you swim, but why do you need to search for such a facility when the kids have a father who could take them off for a walk or something while you swim? Is that something he ever does, or do you have to shoehorn your regular swims in around school and childcare? How much does he do in general?

The stuff you mention in your OP is, like so much of parenting and taking the mental load for a family, intrinsically tedious and if most of it falls to you on top of work and the bullying you have recently suffered, it's no wonder you feel bored and want to get away.

I thought the same as fetchez. Sounds like you've been very overloaded and your body and mind are retreating to what they can cope with. You need space and time to recuperate with support from those around you. Wishing you all the best.

This is not the time to be questioning your lack of enthusiasm for play dates!

You haven't changed, you're just recovering from trauma.