What is happening to me?

[HampshireMummyof2]

Hi, I don't know if I am going mad, having a mid life crisis or just losing it.
I have over the past few months started to think "fuck everyone else" and just do what I want to do. Pretty much my whole life I have been a people pleaser and have tried to make sure everyone was happy, and I enjoyed doing this and was happy to see them happy. I have been with my partner for nearly 20 years and have tried to help him and be there if he needed me, so much that I have lost friends and if I say no now he will get a bit annoyed as he expects me to say yes (I know that is a whole other story ) but after being with my parents a while recently I have noticed that I do it with them too.

I am mid 40s and starting to get a few signs of Pre menopause so don't know if it's that.
I am slowly getting to the point where I want to just say no I will not do that/or help with that and be really selfish.
So am I losing it or just reached the end of my patience?

Good for you!!!

My favourite phrase to tell people: "not my problem!"

I think that sounds brilliant. Why should you put everyone else first all the bloody time? And why does it have to be that something's wrong with you, maybe it's just you've reached a point where you think fuck it. And why shouldn't you?

Having said that, I have read on here that menopause can make you less patient with pleasing other people all the time.

But I think age has made me do what I want to a lot more too. I haven't got the time or the energy to do stuff I really don't want to out of politeness any more.

This is a good thing OP. Don't waste any more time thinking about why it is, or what is wrong with you - other people have been doing this for ever and now you hey to enjoy it too.

Sounds like you have found yourself!

You’ve gained confidence in yourself and understand that there is a limit in what you can do for others.

I put my foot down a few years ago over things I thought I was happily doing doe others but realised that I wasn’t appreciated and my valuable time was being taken up!

Thank you!! I feel guilty though and don't want to "rock the boat" but need to pull up my "big (menopause) girl knickers"

This happened to me when I turned 35. It was literally an overnight thing.

Never regretted it. Never looked back. Cut out all the toxic people in my life including my former best friend who I realised was actually an energy sucking drama queen.

Been so much happier ever since.