Ds1 is 15 and has asd. Was awarded lower rate care dla when he was 9 and its due to run out in 2023. Although he will turn 16 next year so dla will stop then anyway.
He gets no support for anything apart from the £20ish a week dla and the £50ish a week disability element on our tax credits. School have said he doesn't need support there. I'm assuming this is because he doesn't have meltdowns at school as ds2 who also has asd didn't get any support either until he had a meltdown at school and then suddenly he was eligible for support. He was getting support from the children's autism team but that stopped when he turned 14 as that is the upper age limit. We get a termly newsletter from the children's inclusion team about various days out/activities they are doing and he will do the occasional thing with them in the school holidays, mostly watersports. I always stay with him, mostly because ds2 will go too and he has higher needs including a previous suicide attempt.
The best way I can describe ds1 is that he is like an expat here from planet asd. He speaks the language fluently but it doesn't come naturally. When I see him at school or in social situations he constantly has his face kind of screwed up as it he is concentrating very hard to fit into the nt world. When he is at home or with other people who have asd he is relaxed, very smiley, has a spring in his step etc. He also stims which he won't do in public.
The main thing I'm worried about PIP is that he would have to be involved in the application and the assessment. I have always been positive to him about his autism and the idea of involving him in a form similar to the dla one where I will have to write down how different he is compared to others fills me with dread. Also him being interviewed by someone who's job is to dismiss his needs will be awful for him. I have been through a dla tribunal for ds2 when he was 10 and it was awful. The only comfort was that ds2 didn't have to witness it and see them dismiss all his needs like that.
On the other hand we can't afford to lose £70ish a week and as ds1 is getting older he needs us more, not less so me going back to work or dh increasing his hours isn't really an option.