Been with DP just under two years. I love him, when we are together it’s amazing. Everything I wanted.
But his communication when apart is hurtful.
If there’s an disagreement or upset or minor conflict, he just backs away and says little. I will usually be the one who calls back to smooth things over, he will cautiously say something nice back and even text to apologise but it’s so so formal and cold. It’s like he can’t be warm and loving over text or the phone.
Similarly, he is rarely affectionate in messages and if he is it’s formal and clinical. No warmth. Never says he misses me. Never says he loves me. Just formal procedural messages about the day, almost like ticking it off a spreadsheet he’s looked at on how interact with a partner.
Many many months back I discovered he was on websites about ‘what women really want’ and how to talk to women. I thought this was because he had limited relationship experience but obviously these sites haven’t helped because he is like ice most of the time when we are apart.
But when together it’s fantastic. He doesn’t express himself verbally much when together either but obviously we laugh and touch and smile so I feel connected. That goes as soon as we are apart. He’s not married or involved with anyone else. I’m feeling confused about it all.