Night time support chat

[MistySkiesAfterRain]

Ah here we are midnight folk, what brings you here tonight?

I'm properly livid having worked myself into a state of hopelessness. I had a massive piece of work dumped on me yesterday due to staff sickness. Fine, I'll help out. Worked on it until 2am. Ok, well I've done my bit.

No..contacted again to do another part of it. Ok, I didn't have anything urgent on. I'll clear the decks and do it.

Failing to take into account that my brain was mush from last night and I can't bloody do it.

In my head I've gone all shouty, blaming other people and I am going round in circles. They want it for tomorrow morning and I just don't think I can do it and it's unfair because I've been given something someone else started badly.

I also like to do things properly so my perfection gremlins are out in full force criticising everything I do.

I'm actually pretty pissed off in case you can't tell .

I've worked really hard to get to a good place, now I'm sat in one of those 'oh I know how this goes' mental spirals waiting to fall asleep or get sudden inspiration (unlikely), where every option feels like a lose.

I mean it has to be done and everyone will be cross if I did nothing.

@Gingernaut

Steeling myself for applying for UC and CT benefits later.

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I'm on SSP from Aug 11th and that's it.

Still looking for jobs, but still recovering from injury.

Sorry you've been landed with all that extra work, OP. Good luck.

It's stressful but a weight of once you've done it!

Make sure you look in to LCWRA because they don't generally advertise it but you're probably eligible if you've had a injury

Oooooh. Thanks. I never knew about that. Thanks @carriehagshaw

I know it's a bit tinfoil hat but I'm sure they're trained not to mention certain elements to us!

LCWRA is about £300 a month (roughly, there's a higher and lower element) and it means you don't have to do the whole job activity/job centre appointments thing if you're not able to work right now.

Good luck

You can still look for jobs if you want to/are able to. But there's no pressure. Sorry for minor thread derail but I feel quite strongly about this as I wasnt told and had to struggle to monthly job centre appointments and make job applications etc. When truly I couldn't work and missed out on quite a bit of money

X'D'P is marrying the OW tomorrow.... well, I suppose she's not the 'O'W anymore.
I thought I was OK about it all, but I'm not. I don't want him back or anything- glad to be rid if him, but I'm wallowing because he gets his 'happy ever after' after all the crap he's put me and the DCs through.

@NotSoSkinnyNow

X'D'P is marrying the OW tomorrow.... well, I suppose she's not the 'O'W anymore. I thought I was OK about it all, but I'm not. I don't want him back or anything- glad to be rid if him, but I'm wallowing because he gets his 'happy ever after' after all the crap he's put me and the DCs through.

just think.... poor cow!

Sorry so many of you are still up and not getting much sleep.

I’m not having the best night. Lost my mum in June and I seem to have nights where I just can’t switch off and all I do is think about her. Tonight is one of those nights. I seem to reach a certain point where I just know I won’t get much sleep. I’ve even had some nights where I don’t sleep at all. Not even little naps. It’s exhausting.

I’ve worked out only 7 years until I can leave my husband. I hate him and it’s probably reciprocated. But until the children are 18, I’ll put up with it.
There you go!

I was at the midwife today, I'm 38weeks and told the baby has turned and is now breech and I'm also measuring 2 weeks + ahead . The earliest they can scan me is Monday. I've been frantically googling all night about turning babies.

Contemplating going up to be assessed tomorrow, on the premise of my swollen feet and blood pressure...feels dishonest (altho true!) And then mentioning the scan on Monday and seeing if it can be fast tracked.

@Kapalika

I’ve worked out only 7 years until I can leave my husband. I hate him and it’s probably reciprocated. But until the children are 18, I’ll put up with it. There you go!

Sure you've done your sums but seven years? Really? I'm sorry you feel that stuck

Reported

Regular insomniac since my separation while stbxh is playing happily families with his gf and enjoying life and oh so happy (his words) while I'm trapped in his home town with few people I can trust.

Tired of fighting over dc, money and him generally treating me like a piece of rubbish he's chucked in the bin.

During the day I don't think about him at all but at night I seem to keep grieving my lost life and unable to see what my future will be.

How bloody depressing!

3am is the new 3pm for me recently

My DH died from cancer four weeks ago. My DD has COVID confirmed on Wed and has a very painful sore throat which nothing seems to ease so she can’t sleep. My other DD avoiding her (and me) as she is going on holiday soon and can’t risk catching it. Our flat not that big, so every time one of us goes out our respective rooms it wakes the others up. We are all grieving. I misunderstood the funeral bill and it is £6500 not the v reasonable £3500 I thought it was. Will have to ask MIL for financial help but was v unreasonably grumpy with her on phone yesterday as she told me how to wipe all surfaces, wash hands and use my own garden during self isolation.
DH did not leave a will so trying to deal with all that, finding random paperwork all over the house, mostly stuffed in drawers or in plastic bags pushed in the back of cupboards.
Have had to cancel dentist and opticians, for self isolation.
Said self isolation ends day before am due back to work.
Not sure I will ever sleep properly again…

I'm so sorry about your DH pippity and about the extra stress of the funeral costs. Hope your DD feels better soon

This is my first night waking again after a good run of a few weeks with no insomnia. I'm worried this will be the start of a bad run. I find things so much harder to cope with when I'm not sleeping much. And things seem so much worse when I'm lying awake overthinking. Heading into another round of IVF soon, almost 40 and tonight I'm 100% convinced I'll never be a mother and it's all I can think about.

Am still up. Just generic anxiety. Hate this. Have a lot to be anxious about and at times like this am not sure I can cope.

Hi op,,

You can only do what you can, I know that’s not helpful id be raging about the situation too.

Well I’m sitting here feeding DC2, it had to be the night I decided to have a gin that he isn’t sleeping so well. He’s currently eyeballing me, the sun is coming up and I pray he will go back to sleep. Really needing sleep as on my own with dc1 (3years) and dc2 )6weeks) tomorrow. Oh and forecast here for tomorrow is heavy rain meh