Can I learn to stop catastrophizing?

[AllTheSingleLadiess]

I had to take my teen dd's car to the garage today but I had a restless night worried that the fix was going to be 1000s. The car is now fixed and wasn't expensive but has made me realise that I need to stop catastrophizing because I do it a lot.

I know that part of the problem is that I'm a single parent so I don't have another adult to talk these things through but this happens time and time again and I'm sick of it. I also have Aspergers so coping with the unknown is hard but for the small things I cope by having plan B, plan C which is surely how NT people cope?

Thanks for any replies

I sympathise OP, I've got the mindset where I go straight to catastrophize when anything is wrong or worrying me.

When I had a crushingly bad bout of health anxiety a few years ago I had to have CBT. One of my mantras that I came up with was 'Rationalise not Catastrophize'. Even now when I feel myself getting het up I try and sit quietly and breathe calmly and silently say those words to myself over and over again. It does help me I have to say.

I'm also a single parent with Aspergers. I do this too. It's really hard not having anyone to talk things through with and making all the sensible adult decisions when I can't tell if I've understood the situation properly amd whether I'm predicting possible outcomes sensibly.

The uncertainty is awful.

No help but you're not alone.

I hear you, OP! I had some excellent therapy a few months go, on the nhs, which really helped with the catastrophising. It might be worth speaking to your GP, and say that it is causing you anxiety.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)

If you look for evidence of the catastrophe you won't find any, that's how you stop it. What's the evidence the repair will be small? All the other times the repair was small or all the times the MOT passed without needing repair. What's the evidence for a big repair? If the front of the car smashed in from a crash, that's evidence. If the car looks fine, what is the evidence for a big repair being likely? No evidence? Tell yourself it's only thoughts. Thoughts aren't necessarily reality. Catastrophising is a recognised negative thinking pattern. It's your brain playing tricks on you, remind yourself of this and tell yourself you're not going to engage with the negative pattern. With practice, you'll recognise sooner when you're doing it and be able to make yourself stop doing it sooner each time.

Thank you. The replies are very helpful even though I wouldn't wish these feelings on other people.

I didn't get on with CBT but it's worth a try, other people swear by it.

I'm autistic too and these days whenever I feel panicky I try boxercise, it's really helped me. Some cardio exercise stuff maybe?

I have autism but luckily I don't catastrophize. DH with ADHD does. I don't know what the secret is, I don't think about it until it happens, and then I deal with it methodically. I might get pissed off with other people catastrophizing though.... I had to tell DM to stop talking, because realistically I knew DD was fine going to school, but DM was getting to me. FFS it's a 6 minute walk with nearly 750 other children going the same way, and she was 12.

Helen Kennerley's book "Overcoming Anxiety" might be worth a look. Exercises based on CBT.

I set myself what I call ‘worry limits’. I won’t worry about something until a certain event has happened. E,g. I wouldn’t worry about the cost of the repair until I’m stood in front of a garage technician and the words ‘that’s going to be £1,000’ are coming out of his mouth.
I know it sounds daft but I can really really let my mind get away from me with worrying, and this puts a stop on it.